‘Oranges and lemons say the bells of St Clements’ but like it’s from the minaret of a mosque run by the hard of hearing. It’s aggressive.
SKATE 2 had a totally banging soundtrack. No Swift. She has a terrible reach into the skate game history books.
I reckon you can still do it. Buying lumps of sawn hardwood is expensive, but if you start looking for what people throw away you can do it. You can find hardwood that is completely illegal to cut and sell these days if you look for mid century furniture that’s getting thrown out. Or softwoods. You’re not stupid, and you can carve if you want to.
A girl sidled up to me at college when I was About 18 and just said “you have beautiful veins”
wefwef 🫡
How can you be so bent out of shape as a human to think that fucking over kids at the Evelina is the way to spend your day, to make your daily bread.
Feels like a super power when you’re scuba diving and you see all the other divers holding their noses!
The man is in the wrong shoes both figuratively and literally. Literally just seems funnier sometimes.
I promise not to use the doorbell, instead I shall announce my arrival by throwing acorns at the door.
One evening I built a campfire to keep warm on the banks of a river in southern France. As the fire got going, millions of moths poured from the trees into the flames. As the numbers increased the flames leapt higher, and the moths became the fuel. The horror, the horror…
We were standing in the pub, and I’d just bought a round. I gave my mate a fresh pint, and like a complete piss head he let it slip through his fingers. It landed on the floor between us with a thunk, not a single drop spilled. It just nailed the landing, completely solid. Fucking witchcraft.
“Deny thy counter and refuse thy knife”
O cutting board, cutting board, wherefore art thou cutting board?
Just wear a nice snug pencil skirt: no chance of flashing your knickers and it will look great with your heels.
Imagine thinking that you’re tougher than context.