Better yet, there’s sites that have filters you can set. So you set the wattage filter to 60w and then…. no fucking results. But if you clear the filter, there’s lots of results, because it turns out their entire inventory has a wattage of “n/a”.

Moving to the “finding out” phase in 3, 2, 1…

Sounds right, and I’m sure worried. They rolled through Kyiv in 3 days because they’re so prepared!

Every piece of shit they make that I bought ended up broken and in the trash within a couple of weeks.

Yup. I was using self checkout once and it flagged me when I was trying to pay but didn’t say why. The supervisor was on top of it and unlocked the terminal and it made him watch a 5 second video of “suspicious activity”, which was me moving my reusable bag to the other side at a low angle. Some AI they use saw that as trying to sneak an unscanned product past the scanner.

I thought it was terribly clever but he just rolled his eyes and apologized for the inconvenience. As if an underpaid Walmart employee is going to waste their time arguing with a shoplifter.

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At first I didn’t like this, but then I noticed the apology at the bottom.

Yeah but he’ll change every base unit to x, so now we measure acceleration in x/x^2 and volume is measured in x^3 and the highway speed limit is 80x/(x/60).

Hah, Carmax sponsors sovcits!

Seriously though, this is a great way to deter car dealers from smearing their advertising on expensive cars they sell people. Nothing like dropping tens of thousands of dollars on a car and giving them free advertising.

Did you put regular detergent in a high efficiency washer?

“It’s a yes or no question” = “I want a yes or no answer”

I took photos at a friend’s wedding and most of the photos of his new wife had her wearing a lace veil.

I dumped all the photos into Picasso (precursor to Google Photos) and it did its background facial ID on everything. Then it suggested more photos that might also be tagged as her.

The extra photos were all just tables with tablecloths on them. It thought she was a tablecloth.

I had a manager once who had 3 small kids and he rarely caught himself when he excused himself from a meeting to “go potty”.

“I’m playing an evil character!”

No you’re not, your character is just a dick.

Watching them in court is like the first time watching The Office and feeling crushed by awkward embarrassment on behalf of someone who’s oblivious to it.

I had a Roomba that was cloud connected (when AWS has an outage, it doesn’t work at all).

It still just mindlessly ran various patterns and beeped when it got stuck, which was all the time. Piece of shit.

My beef with YouTube music is that no matter what song I start from, in 4 songs it has turned into Levitating by Dua Lipa.

Children’s songs? Foreign language? Electro swing? Hip hop? Doesn’t matter. Levitating is coming soon.

I’ve read that aircraft mechanics were sad when smoking stopped because the nicotine smears on the aircraft were such a good visual clue of where air was leaking and it made theirs jobs a lot easier.

I left Apple when I got rid of my iPhone 3 and didn’t look back until last year. In the mean time, iOS has grown up nicely, the services are really well integrated, and it’s pretty low on bugs.

Contrast to Google where every OS update to Android makes the UI more and more similar to iOS, but a shittier version of it. Their home assistant has been losing features and the overall recognition has gotten demonstrably worse as time goes on. It annoys me to no end that Android doesn’t have any native ability to resize a photo before emailing it, so you either send a 7MB photo or go through too many ridiculous steps to resize it first. That’s not even counting the services that Google kills all the time, making any investment into their ecosystem unreliable in the long term.

I’m not using Apple now because I’m loyal and like them. It’s because Google has put so much effort into making their own phone a shitty knockoff. If I’m paying premium prices for a flagship phone, might as well go with the one that works better.

It’s worth pointing out that this only works if your plan is sufficiently evil.