He told viewers if they donated more cash they could 'speed up' Jesus' return
  • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldEnglish
    67·
    8 months ago

    2000 years of tithing and it still isn’t enough?

    Because I’ve been to the Vatican and I gotta say, it looks like they have plenty of money.

    • pezhore@lemmy.mlEnglish
      20·
      8 months ago

      Maybe they should try donating to other religions to make Jesus angry.

    • SuperDuper@lemmy.worldEnglish
      15·
      8 months ago

      This guy isn’t affiliated with the Catholic Church. You see, the Catholics got it wrong so all the money donated to them doesn’t count. Then the Protestants got it wrong so all the money donated to them doesn’t count. Then the lutherans got it wrong so all the money donated to them doesn’t count. Then the evangelicals got it wrong so all the money donated to them doesn’t count. But then this guy definitely got it right, so don’t worry; your money is absolutely definitely going to the right place when you donate to him and nobody else will come along saying he got it wrong.

  • Darkard@lemmy.worldEnglish
    50·
    8 months ago

    Who knew that Jesus’s return to Earth was a Kickstarter. Donate enough and you will be listed as a “Most Pious Backer” in the new edition of the bible.

    I assume one of the stretch goals is to cure bone cancer in babies.

  • TK420@lemmy.worldEnglish
    35·
    8 months ago

    Soon enough the boomers and other old people will stop funding the churches since they will be dead and one by one the churches will all shut down.

    The people will rejoice across the land.

      • LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.worldEnglish
        9·
        8 months ago

        Largest land owner in Florida I believe was the LDS. Near 690,000 acres and because they are a church, no taxes. The standard suburban home in Florida used to sit on a 1/4 acre lot. The median property tax is $2,338 a year. That would mean the LDS would be paying ~6.4 billion dollars a year in taxes if that were owned by the common family. Just making them pay taxes would make them sell off a bunch to get some of the costs back. Imagine half of that going up for space to build houses at low prices because they all the sudden fed the area for 2.7 million houses into the market.

        Oops, house prices may fall, and a bunch of money just got fed into the government to build infrastructure for it.

    • thisbenzingring@lemmy.sdf.orgEnglish
      3·
      8 months ago

      Another good one (although I think Roger Waters has lost* his mind in the last couple years)

      What God wants, God gets, God help us all

  • HubertManne@kbin.social
    10·
    8 months ago

    The actual issue is they have been using the wrong address to send the checks (which should be made out to cash). Its:

    G’s for Jesus
    PO Box 4432
    Chicago, IL 60608

  • kromem@lemmy.worldEnglish
    8·
    8 months ago

    Fun fact - in both apocrypha and multiple gospels, Jesus is all like “don’t carry a purse with you when ministering and just accept food and shelter when offered.”

    You can see attitudes against this prosperity BS in some of the earliest Christian documents, where in 1 Cor 9 Paul is arguing against preexisting attitudes in the Christian community in Corinth about whether he has a right to collect money for his ministering.

    You even see in Paul’s letters that he gets personally gifted a fragrant offering, which must’ve caused a bit of controversy as decades later in the gospels there’s a part where Jesus gets personally gifted a fragrant offering and gets pissed at people saying he should sell it and give the money to the poor.

    That part about “carry no purse and no money” gets explicitly reversed at the Last Supper in Luke. But curiously, it’s not present in Marcion’s version which was probably the earliest version of the text.

    It’s pretty wild that you had Paul - who called himself lawless, performed signs and wonders, was constantly swearing he wasn’t lying, was a false prophet of apocalypse, and inserted himself into the center of the church - straight up representing positions exactly opposite widely alleged positions of Jesus’s, and yet so many don’t even blink an eye at their blind faith in the guy while frantically looking everywhere around them for “the antichrist” that’s supposedly going to lead them astray.

    That said, I have little doubt that Paul would be extremely pleased with the conmen that followed in his footsteps and the profits they raked in under his name.

    And why not say (as some people slander us by saying that we say), “Let us do evil so that good may come”?

    • Romans 3:8
  • resetbypeer@lemmy.worldEnglish
    8·
    8 months ago

    Jesus will not return. Fuck he has been on welfare for 2024 years. Why would the man return from retirement if he can live life as the richest person ever existed in a paradise that they told us all about /s