Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Seymour?
Aurora Borealis?
At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Localized entirely within your kitchen?
Its shitpost not shit post
You’re a shit post
No u
Suddenly Seymour
🎵Standing beside you🎵
You don’t need no makeup
Pain is googling “instant heartburn relief” at 3 am. “Have you tried going back in time to eat less garbage?” as well as the suggestion to literally drink acid (apple cider vinegar).
Fuck. Suffered through life for years before getting a solid prescription for Omeprazole. Life changing.
Waking up at 3am breathing fucking fire because my stomach pushed up some of the worst acid is a hell of a thing to try and start understanding when you’re not even awake enough to understand what’s going on
The conversation for me usually goes:
Brain: Hmm, I’m not doing anything, might as well eat.
Stomach: Yeah, I guess I could have a bite.
Brain: I’ve eaten, but there’s more pizza there. Guess I’ll have more.
Stomach: Please no, I’m full.
Brain: Hmm, two more slices isn’t really enough to save, I should eat it.
Stomach: God please, no. Let it end! I can’t take any more!
Brain: Oh! I just remembered we have some ice cream in the freezer!
Stomach: KILL ME! I WANT TO DIE!
Me: Ugh, why the fuck did I eat a whole pizza by myself…