Archive link: https://archive.ph/GtA4Q
The complete destruction of Google Search via forced AI adoption and the carnage it is wreaking on the internet is deeply depressing, but there are bright spots. For example, as the prophecy foretold, we are learning exactly what Google is paying Reddit $60 million annually for. And that is to confidently serve its customers ideas like, to make cheese stick on a pizza, “you can also add about 1/8 cup of non-toxic glue” to pizza sauce, which comes directly from the mind of a Reddit user who calls themselves “Fucksmith” and posted about putting glue on pizza 11 years ago.
A joke that people made when Google and Reddit announced their data sharing agreement was that Google’s AI would become dumber and/or “poisoned” by scraping various Reddit shitposts and would eventually regurgitate them to the internet. (This is the same joke people made about AI scraping Tumblr). Giving people the verbatim wisdom of Fucksmith as a legitimate answer to a basic cooking question shows that Google’s AI is actually being poisoned by random shit people say on the internet.
Because Google is one of the largest companies on Earth and operates with near impunity and because its stock continues to skyrocket behind the exciting news that AI will continue to be shoved into every aspect of all of its products until morale improves, it is looking like the user experience for the foreseeable future will be one where searches are random mishmashes of Reddit shitposts, actual information, and hallucinations. Sundar Pichai will continue to use his own product and say “this is good.”
oh gods what happens when the ai discovers the poop knife
It’s already a thing and AI knows about it. And yes I get the original reference.
wtf world are we even living in
https://www.walmart.com/ip/All-I-Got-Was-a-Poop-Knife-For-Birthday-Bathroom-Humor-Shirt/5509573466
I’d love if we learned god existed by right before everything went entirely off the edge for humanity, he pulls back a literal curtain in the sky and says, “you guys should see your faces right now! Hahaha! Classic. Anyway, that was fun. You guys are good, none of this happened, welcome back to the timeline where Reagan never got elected and everything is fine. [chuckles to himself as he retreats back behind the curtain] heh. Poop knife. Hilarious. Oooh, Yahweh, you are just too. Much.” [Carter frees the hostages, Reagan loses in a reverse of the blowout, the entire world heeds the warnings of climate scientists and the car that runs on water never gets buried]
Oh wow, the cake roll graphic!
I think my most upvoted reddit comment was on the poop knife post. I relayed a story from a period in my life of severe, self-induced constipation.
But I’m civilized and used a real tool, a poo-driver.
I think I might actually remember your comment!
It’s nice to be adjacent to history in this way. I think I’ll add this to me resume!
Or the cumbox. Or that kid who broke his arms. Or that dog, Colby I think? No wonder AI always wants to exterminate humanity in sci-fi.
Hey google, a woman has a son with 2 broken arms, what should she do?
What about the 🥥
And the jolly rancher.
That was plainly fictional.
It’ll recommend to beat your kids with jumper cables.
The ai will forever identify an innocent as the perpetrator of the Boston bombings
And the cylinder
Hey Google, I like space movies. Please describe the Swamps of Dagobah.
I thought it was a jar and not a box, or was it both?
I believe there was a cum jar, cum box, cum wall, cum squid, cum coconut, and cum couch
The list of things people haven’t cummed in is definitely shorter than the list of things they have
And that is saying a lot in a near infinite universe
All it would need for justification is Kevin. Damn it Kevin.