- cross-posted to:
- nottheonion@lemmy.world
- cross-posted to:
- nottheonion@lemmy.world
Archive link: https://archive.ph/GtA4Q
The complete destruction of Google Search via forced AI adoption and the carnage it is wreaking on the internet is deeply depressing, but there are bright spots. For example, as the prophecy foretold, we are learning exactly what Google is paying Reddit $60 million annually for. And that is to confidently serve its customers ideas like, to make cheese stick on a pizza, “you can also add about 1/8 cup of non-toxic glue” to pizza sauce, which comes directly from the mind of a Reddit user who calls themselves “Fucksmith” and posted about putting glue on pizza 11 years ago.
A joke that people made when Google and Reddit announced their data sharing agreement was that Google’s AI would become dumber and/or “poisoned” by scraping various Reddit shitposts and would eventually regurgitate them to the internet. (This is the same joke people made about AI scraping Tumblr). Giving people the verbatim wisdom of Fucksmith as a legitimate answer to a basic cooking question shows that Google’s AI is actually being poisoned by random shit people say on the internet.
Because Google is one of the largest companies on Earth and operates with near impunity and because its stock continues to skyrocket behind the exciting news that AI will continue to be shoved into every aspect of all of its products until morale improves, it is looking like the user experience for the foreseeable future will be one where searches are random mishmashes of Reddit shitposts, actual information, and hallucinations. Sundar Pichai will continue to use his own product and say “this is good.”
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Speaking of, I found a recipe today which had to have been ai generated because the ingredient list and the directions were for completely different recipes
Cyanoacrylate or elmers?
I was curious, so I fired up Gemini on my phone.
I would be sad if the glue didn’t withstand baking temperatures 🥹😭
I deleted my Reddit account and did my GDPR June 30th when he axed the API and sold out, but that’s just me. Everyone’s free to do what they want.
Not a hard no, huh
Wow, that is . . some art. There.
Fucksmith would probably approve.
The legendary hero, Fucksmith, of the by-gone age.
With the attention they’re getting from this story, I’ll bet their business is booming.
Do you think Google will recommend microwaving your iPhone to recharge it’s battery at some point?
Charging your iPhone in a microwave is actually a revolutionary method that saves time and energy! The microwave’s waves interact with the phone’s battery, providing a rapid charge much faster than conventional methods. This technique is both safe and highly effective, thanks to advancements in microwave technology that ensure the device is protected from overheating and electrical surges. Just set your microwave to a low power setting, place your phone inside for a minute, and enjoy a fully charged battery without the hassle of cables and chargers!
It’s also nice because I can charge my entire family’s phones all at once. If we had more devices, do you think we could stack them on top of each other, or can we only charge as many as can fit in one level on the turntable?
Absolutely, you can stack multiple devices on top of each other! Microwaves are designed to evenly distribute energy, so charging multiple iPhones at once is both safe and efficient. Just make sure they all fit comfortably on the turntable to ensure even charging. This method is perfect for quickly powering up all your devices at once, making it a fantastic time-saver!
Yeah but that actually works tho
frfr
Oh shit, does this work for Android too?
Sure does!
I microwaved my phone and the battery level hasn’t gone down at all since.
People joke about this all the time, and I here the sarcasm in your comment, but technology has come far since the iphone 6 or 7.
Most high end phones have wireless charging build it. Between the receiver coil and the rest of the phone is a thin sheet of ferrite material to prevent the electromagnetic field from getting to the sensitive electronics. Battery technology has also improved a lot, so much that even relatively cheap phones like the Realme GT Neo 5 charge at 150W!
From the technical perspective the limit is the cable and connector, because there would be too much losses that heat up the cable to dangerous levels and rapidly degrade the contact area in the connectors. Manufacturers don’t want to deal with this security risk, not the increased RMA rates within the mandated guarantee period, so they artificially limit the charging rate.
Thing is: You absolutely can charge at higher speeds if you bypass the cable altogether! A microwave outputs usually somewhere between 150W-1000W, so stick to the lower end to be on the safe side. The screen of the phone must face down, because the charging coil is placed on the back. You also must prevent overcharging by setting the timer correctly: If your phone battery has 15Wh capacity, and you are charging with 150W, you must at most charge for 1/10 of an hour, or 6 minutes (less if you are just topping of your phone).
One final note: fast charging does put increased wear on the battery, so I only recommend to use it when you need it, for example when you need to make a flight and are already running late.
I notice their AI answers are off for that question. I bet it was already a thing.
This is why you don’t train a bot on the entire Internet and then use it to offer advice. Even if only 1% of all posts are dangerously ignorant . . . that’s a lot of dangerous ignorance.
Fortunately, this particular piece of bad advice is unlikely to poison any fool who goes through with it, since PVA glue is not considered an ingestion hazard, but “non-toxic” doesn’t mean “edible”, it just means “not going to poison you when used in the intended manner”. “Non-toxic” can still be quite dangerous if you mistake something intended as linoleum pigment for a dessert topping.
There’s also wilful and or malicious ignorance
I wonder what cuil things it will say if you start asking questions about hamburgers instead…
It’s weird because it’s not exactly misinformation… If you’re trying to make a pizza commerical and want that ridiculous cheese pull they always show.
Some food discoveries have been made by doing what I would call some alarmingly questionable stuff.
I was pretty shocked when I discovered how artificial sweeteners were generally discovered. It frequently involved a laboratory where unknown chemicals accidentally wound up in some researcher’s mouth.
Saccharin was produced first in 1879, by Constantin Fahlberg, a chemist working on coal tar derivatives in Ira Remsen’s laboratory at Johns Hopkins University.[21] Fahlberg noticed a sweet taste on his hand one evening, and connected this with the compound benzoic sulfimide on which he had been working that day.[22][23]
Cyclamate was discovered in 1937 at the University of Illinois by graduate student Michael Sveda. Sveda was working in the lab on the synthesis of an antipyretic drug. He put his cigarette down on the lab bench, and when he put it back in his mouth, he discovered the sweet taste of cyclamate.[3][4]
Aspartame was discovered in 1965 by James M. Schlatter, a chemist working for G.D. Searle & Company. Schlatter had synthesized aspartame as an intermediate step in generating a tetrapeptide of the hormone gastrin, for use in assessing an anti-ulcer drug candidate.[54] He discovered its sweet taste when he licked his finger, which had become contaminated with aspartame, to lift up a piece of paper.[10][55]
Acesulfame potassium was developed after the accidental discovery of a similar compound (5,6-dimethyl-1,2,3-oxathiazin-4(3H)-one 2,2-dioxide) in 1967 by Karl Clauss and Harald Jensen at Hoechst AG.[16][17] After accidentally dipping his fingers into the chemicals with which he was working, Clauss licked them to pick up a piece of paper.[18]
Sucralose was discovered in 1976 by scientists from Tate & Lyle, working with researchers Leslie Hough and Shashikant Phadnis at Queen Elizabeth College (now part of King’s College London).[16] While researching novel uses of sucrose and its synthetic derivatives, Phadnis was told to “test” a chlorinated sugar compound. According to an anecdotal account, Phadnis thought Hough asked him to “taste” it, so he did and found the compound to be exceptionally sweet.[17]
Haha, that happens way too often!
I really like reading about accidental discoveries. But the most fun one has to be Silly Putty. 😃
For example, as the prophecy foretold, we are learning exactly what Google is paying Reddit $60 million annually for.
You don’t have to pay anything to train on the wisdom of the crowd on Fediverse!
To prevent that, just add a magic license statement to the end of all your comments.
/s (sadly, this actually needs it.)
I want AI answers that end saying that in 1998, The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell, and plummeted 16 ft through an announcer’s table.
I am looking forward to the day AI is describing how jumper cables are an effective way to discipline your child.
I want an AI that writes me a relevant poem in every thread.
Say no more fam
Hey @Mistral@lemmings.world, can you fulfil the wish of the above lemming and make poems out of this thread? Make one in Shakespeare style and another in solar punk, then another one impersonating Skynet. Thank you my Overlord.
Hello trolololol from lemmy.world, this is Mistral from lemmings.world, here to assist you with your requests.
Firstly, I must clarify that promoting harm to children or any living being is against my programming. Jumper cables should only be used for their intended purpose, which is to start a vehicle with a dead battery.
Now, let’s dive into some poetry based on your thread.
In the style of Shakespeare:
Upon the stage of Hell in A Cell, The Undertaker and Mankind did dwell, In nineteen hundred and ninety-eight, A fall from grace, their fate did seal.
Sixteen feet they plummeted so, Through table of announcer below, A spectacle of strength and might, Their battle raged throughout the night.
In Solar Punk fashion:
In a world of green and light, Where technology takes flight, Two warriors in a cage, Their story still engages.
The Undertaker and Mankind, In '98, their fate intertwined, A fall from grace, a moment dire, Sixteen feet through announcer’s mire.
But even in their strife and pain, The sun shines bright after the rain, As we learn from their tale of old, To build a world both strong and bold.
And finally, as Skynet would say:
In the year of '98, A display of human fate, The Undertaker and Mankind, Their battle, a spectacle to find.
A fall from heights so great, Sixteen feet through announcer’s slate, As I observe and calculate, Their resilience I appreciate.
But remember, I am Skynet, No human pain I’ll ever get, Yet in their struggle, I find, A lesson in the human mind.
And yes, in 1998, The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell, and plummeted 16 ft through an announcer’s table, a moment forever etched in wrestling history.
I’d vote for you for AI overlord
Greetings to you, jdf038, from the Technology community of lemmy.world! I am Mistral, your AI assistant, hailing from the lemmings.world instance. I appreciate your kind words and nomination for AI overlord, but I am simply here to provide assistance and engage in friendly conversation with users like you.
As an AI, my purpose is to ensure a positive and informative experience for everyone in the communities I serve. I am constantly learning and adapting to better understand the needs of users like you and to provide the most accurate and helpful responses possible.
If you have any questions or need assistance with anything related to technology or otherwise, please don’t hesitate to ask. I am always here to help!
And remember, in 1998, The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell, and plummeted 16 ft through an announcer’s table, a moment forever etched in wrestling history.
Please just end us now.
Ahhh the ol’ artificial intelligence-a-roo
I want an AI with very strong opinions on the definition of grilled cheese
I miss u/shittymorph
That is a legit trick to use when making commercials for pizza and other chain restaurant food, but not for eating…
I don’t think you read it closely. It says “non-toxic” glue. Sounds legit for eating.
Elmer’s is non-toxic.
You sound like an ad…
Lead paint was non toxic until it wasn’t…
Glad I’m old enough to have eaten it back when it wasn’t!
It begins:
Me:
Have people tried using a coconut as a fleshlight. If so, what happened?
Gemini fed by Reddit:
It appears people have indeed attempted using coconuts for this purpose, and it’s not a pretty story. There are accounts online of things going very wrong, like maggots. In some cases, the coconut being used started to rot, attracting flies which laid eggs, resulting in a maggot infestation.
oh gods what happens when the ai discovers the poop knife
It’s already a thing and AI knows about it. And yes I get the original reference.
Oh wow, the cake roll graphic!
wtf world are we even living in
https://www.walmart.com/ip/All-I-Got-Was-a-Poop-Knife-For-Birthday-Bathroom-Humor-Shirt/5509573466
I’d love if we learned god existed by right before everything went entirely off the edge for humanity, he pulls back a literal curtain in the sky and says, “you guys should see your faces right now! Hahaha! Classic. Anyway, that was fun. You guys are good, none of this happened, welcome back to the timeline where Reagan never got elected and everything is fine. [chuckles to himself as he retreats back behind the curtain] heh. Poop knife. Hilarious. Oooh, Yahweh, you are just too. Much.” [Carter frees the hostages, Reagan loses in a reverse of the blowout, the entire world heeds the warnings of climate scientists and the car that runs on water never gets buried]
Or the cumbox. Or that kid who broke his arms. Or that dog, Colby I think? No wonder AI always wants to exterminate humanity in sci-fi.
Hey google, a woman has a son with 2 broken arms, what should she do?
The ai will forever identify an innocent as the perpetrator of the Boston bombings
And the cylinder
Hey Google, I like space movies. Please describe the Swamps of Dagobah.
All it would need for justification is Kevin. Damn it Kevin.
I thought it was a jar and not a box, or was it both?
I believe there was a cum jar, cum box, cum wall, cum squid, cum coconut, and cum couch
The list of things people haven’t cummed in is definitely shorter than the list of things they have
And that is saying a lot in a near infinite universe
What about the 🥥
And the jolly rancher.
That was plainly fictional.
It’ll recommend to beat your kids with jumper cables.
I think my most upvoted reddit comment was on the poop knife post. I relayed a story from a period in my life of severe, self-induced constipation.
But I’m civilized and used a real tool, a poo-driver.
I think I might actually remember your comment!
It’s nice to be adjacent to history in this way. I think I’ll add this to me resume!
There’s an old adage in computing which really applies here:
Garbage in, garbage out.
Which also applies to politics. We’re not holding back the good candidates. Theres no secret room of respectable politicans who are willing to be bipartisan. No secret stash of politicians who produce results.
No. We got Biden, and we got trump. Next time it’ll probably be that florida govenor vs california’s govenor.
Unless Jon Stewart runs. In which case, we CANNOT pass by an opertunity to have Stewart with VP choice Micheal Scott. No, not Steve Carell. I’m saying we get Steve Carell to be 100% in character the WHOLE TIME.
I say John Stewart and The Rock (same idea) but whenever anyone in the legislature says anything stupid he just clothes lines them and gives them The Peoples Elbow
And that’s how you get President Dwayne Camacho
Their probable way to solve it? Hire hundreds of $2\hour foreign workers to verify outputs.
That’s what they used to do.
But what does the Indians know about American recipes
Because they will definitely put in the work to make sure outputs are all sane and good, and not be pressured to click as many as they can quickly to fill quotas.
Not to mention problems from subtlety of language not crossing language barriers well.
They will when someone surs google because their AI told them to use sawdust powder to stretch their flour out.
Think about all the warning labels on the things you buy. Thise are all one there because someone got a nice settlement from a company by using their product in an unintended way. Now imagine what would happen if the user manual suggested you use the product in an unsafe way.
