I respect but also feel sorry for people who are sexually attracted to children, but manage to control themselves. They have to work extra hard constantly just to not be monsters, while the rest of us never even have to worry about that.
I respect people who […] manage to control themselves
That’s such a weird thing to say though.
Imagine you are in love with someone but they are not interested. Do you take pride in the fact you didn’t rape/groom them because you “managed to control yourself”?
We’re not animals. Controlling your sexual desires should be trivial for any decent human being.
I get what you are saying but I think it’s probably easier in general for people in normal relationships because even if they get rejected, they have an opportunity to form a relationship with someone else. Someone attracted to minors never gets that chance. They aren’t allowed (for good reason) to even try.
Obviously pedophilia isnt a great thing and pedophiles who abuse children should be punished severely, but I don’t think it’s a choice to be born attracted to minors. So it’s unfortunate for them. Definitely not an easy topic.
Maybe it should be, but is it actually trivial? Addiction in general is a real thing, isn’t it? For someone with say an eating disorder, maintaining a healthy diet isn’t trivial at all. Paraphilias are different morally where they involve harming others and not just yourself and so it’s more important to not act on them, but I’m not sure that means it’s easier for a person with a paraphilia than it is for other sorts of people struggling with controlling their behavior.
IMO what it comes down to isn’t whether these people deserve sympathy though, the more important consideration is preventing abuse. To me what the OP image shows is that the “just kill 'em all” attitude is unhelpful bullshit leading to pedophiles and abusers hiding in plain sight. What would be better is a conditionally supportive community that knows what they are and keeps tabs on them well enough to make sure they stay away from kids.
Well this is certainly a thing that someone typed once. I’d counter that it’s not simply that people are innocently attracted to children and therefore deserve sympathy. I’d say there’s more involved in that attraction. You can’t reasonably engage in any romantic or sexual abuse encounter with a child without there being a totally lopsided power dynamic and a high degree of exploitation. I’d argue that for all such people this is what draws them to it. Within that context it’s not some innocent ‘miswiring’ of the brain but instead an individual that is completely unhealthy and mentally unwell that is entertaining the idea of grooming some child. That’s the part they are after.
I know there’s a movement to try and see pedophiles as anything but what they are and you can sit and have thought experiments about ‘the ones that act vs those that don’t’ but at the end of the day you are left with a deeply unwell individual that desperately needs inpatient psychiatric treatment, psychiatric medication, extensive counseling, and total separation from any children.
Well, you’d be wrong. Pedophilia is well studied. It’s attraction to children, and there’s a huge amount of variation in how that is expressed and how the psychology around it develops through a person’s life. Baselessly claiming that all people with pedophilia are just rapists who want easy prey is unhelpful nonsense.
I respect but also feel sorry for people who are sexually attracted to children, but manage to control themselves. They have to work extra hard constantly just to not be monsters, while the rest of us never even have to worry about that.
I have a sneaking feeling that I’ll need some popcorn when looking at replies to this comment. I’ll be back later
Yeah, I almost didn’t post it. We’ll see!
No, I’m glad you posted it. It’s a valid point and I agree with you. Living in constant fear, disgust and denial must be exhausting and terrifying.
I’ll be keeping a close eye on the comments so this remains a civil discussion.
That’s such a weird thing to say though.
Imagine you are in love with someone but they are not interested. Do you take pride in the fact you didn’t rape/groom them because you “managed to control yourself”?
We’re not animals. Controlling your sexual desires should be trivial for any decent human being.
I get what you are saying but I think it’s probably easier in general for people in normal relationships because even if they get rejected, they have an opportunity to form a relationship with someone else. Someone attracted to minors never gets that chance. They aren’t allowed (for good reason) to even try.
Obviously pedophilia isnt a great thing and pedophiles who abuse children should be punished severely, but I don’t think it’s a choice to be born attracted to minors. So it’s unfortunate for them. Definitely not an easy topic.
Maybe it should be, but is it actually trivial? Addiction in general is a real thing, isn’t it? For someone with say an eating disorder, maintaining a healthy diet isn’t trivial at all. Paraphilias are different morally where they involve harming others and not just yourself and so it’s more important to not act on them, but I’m not sure that means it’s easier for a person with a paraphilia than it is for other sorts of people struggling with controlling their behavior.
IMO what it comes down to isn’t whether these people deserve sympathy though, the more important consideration is preventing abuse. To me what the OP image shows is that the “just kill 'em all” attitude is unhelpful bullshit leading to pedophiles and abusers hiding in plain sight. What would be better is a conditionally supportive community that knows what they are and keeps tabs on them well enough to make sure they stay away from kids.
Thank you. Your response is better than mine would have been. I especially like what you have to say about the “‘just kill ‘em all’ attitude “.
I am sure you said this to gay people, too.
what mental gymnastics did you perform to jump to that conclusion?
And even when they do control themselves consistently without fail, most people would still look down on them if they knew…
okay but ted nugent doesnt control himself
I’m not talking about him, then, am I?
Your point is valid, but my assumption when reading this comment is that Nugent is not someone that falls into op’s sphere of empathy.
Completely agree that Ted definitely does not appear to have exercised any restraint on his urges.
Not defending or attacking op’s comment, just trying to read it correctly.
You have read it correctly. I appreciate it.
Well this is certainly a thing that someone typed once. I’d counter that it’s not simply that people are innocently attracted to children and therefore deserve sympathy. I’d say there’s more involved in that attraction. You can’t reasonably engage in any romantic or sexual abuse encounter with a child without there being a totally lopsided power dynamic and a high degree of exploitation. I’d argue that for all such people this is what draws them to it. Within that context it’s not some innocent ‘miswiring’ of the brain but instead an individual that is completely unhealthy and mentally unwell that is entertaining the idea of grooming some child. That’s the part they are after.
I know there’s a movement to try and see pedophiles as anything but what they are and you can sit and have thought experiments about ‘the ones that act vs those that don’t’ but at the end of the day you are left with a deeply unwell individual that desperately needs inpatient psychiatric treatment, psychiatric medication, extensive counseling, and total separation from any children.
Well, you’d be wrong. Pedophilia is well studied. It’s attraction to children, and there’s a huge amount of variation in how that is expressed and how the psychology around it develops through a person’s life. Baselessly claiming that all people with pedophilia are just rapists who want easy prey is unhelpful nonsense.