It’s an incremental effort that does not always pay off, but anything bigger, more sudden and especially anything hostile, always fails.
I feel like on some level the bigot knows that all they’re doing is being a bully, but it’s so much easier and comforting to be a bully than to be honest with themselves or examine themselves that they’ve never exercised that muscle.
So anything more than incremental support for a bully to be more tolerant is interpreted as an attack and then they’re like okay so I have to change this so my perspective/sense-of-self can never be contradicted again.
I guess that’s it, that the goal is not to encourage them to be a different person, but rather to encourage them to be part of something new or unfamiliar: tolerance.
Pointing out hypocrisy rarely changes the person’s mind. They consider it a personal attack and categorize you as an opponent. I’m not saying what you should or shouldn’t say, but rather to help you predict likely responses.
Also, people learn discrimination growing up. It takes time to unlearn, and many people never do. You won’t always succeed, but at the same time, often your words and actions are felt my multiple people simultaneously.
Thank you for the excellent response!
The problem seems to be a mental disconnect they just cant overcome.
Immediately after criticizing some racist news story (so not all bad!) they then mocked the reporter or news reader for their appearance.
I pointed out the hypocrisy of that being just the same as how racism starts. I don’t think it sunk in in any meaningful way though.
It’s an incremental effort that does not always pay off, but anything bigger, more sudden and especially anything hostile, always fails.
I feel like on some level the bigot knows that all they’re doing is being a bully, but it’s so much easier and comforting to be a bully than to be honest with themselves or examine themselves that they’ve never exercised that muscle.
So anything more than incremental support for a bully to be more tolerant is interpreted as an attack and then they’re like okay so I have to change this so my perspective/sense-of-self can never be contradicted again.
I guess that’s it, that the goal is not to encourage them to be a different person, but rather to encourage them to be part of something new or unfamiliar: tolerance.
Pointing out hypocrisy rarely changes the person’s mind. They consider it a personal attack and categorize you as an opponent. I’m not saying what you should or shouldn’t say, but rather to help you predict likely responses.
Also, people learn discrimination growing up. It takes time to unlearn, and many people never do. You won’t always succeed, but at the same time, often your words and actions are felt my multiple people simultaneously.