I moved a lot during my life, living in the 4th country now, stayed in each one for about 15 years. Therefore I had to find friends from outside of school.

Here is a list of how I found them:

20’s:
- through my cousin, he was a coworker with my future best friend
- started a band with a friend and his cousin, then we kicked out the friend and got a better drummer. Through the band we met a ton of other musicians while playing life and became friends with them
- I joined a IRC channel about writing HTML and CSS, once a year we met in real life. Over time I became closer friends with some of them and we visited each other semi regularly. We still hang in the same chatroom, over 20 years ago. Half of us moved abroad, so we can’t meet IRL that often anymore, but we are still friends
- after moving countries I made a house warming party and asked my (now ex) wife’s brother to invite his friends, I brought 50 liters of beer from Germany to this party in Sweden. This group became my core group of friends even after the divorce

30’s:
- work, I became very good friend with one of my coworkers, we even started a new company together because I was the only one who wasn’t afried to try it
- university, yeah normal
- one uni friend pulled me in to the company he worked for where there were very many super cool guys and I became friends with many of them. Even now like 7 years after we don’t work together we still meet regularly for grill parties, etc.

40’s:
- after another move, to South Korea, this one is tough because I still don’t speak the language, but after we got our son, my fiancé opened a public group on the Internet for couples who have a small child and one of the parents is a foreigner. Many of them don’t quite fit me as friends but we still meet some of them for play dates and so on so our friendship is growing
- I was on the playground and there was another foreigner dad and we started talking about the kids and everything else, then we exchanges phone numbers and are meeting regularly and it’s fun because conversations are easy, so he is the clothest thing to a friend I have here. But I have no idea how it would go if I need help in some bad situation, etc. because we didn’t have any yet.

So yeah, this is kind of where I found my friends outside of school. Perhaps it can be some inspiration for you.

I met a few good friends by joining a local, free run club in the area. We were all the slow people at the back 😂

I moved and the friendships didn’t last, but I think that’s just part of life. The older I get, the more stars need to align to maintain relationships.

Go to eventbrite or meetup and check out all the free events in your area that are interesting to you, then just show up.

I’m meeting all the single women on my area (mostly moms and elderly widows) by setting up a company that does plumbing, home improvement and property maintenance jobs.

I’ll be your friend.

Depending on where you are, local clubs probably abound. Anything outdoors is going to be a good start, because they have a vested interest in you coming back to the club to keep it going. All clubs will, but outdoors ones will not want to add any difficulties that might drive off the next generation in their club.

Hiking, running, rowing, biking, skydiving*, geocaching, gardening, birdwatching, fishing (rare, but they’re there!), sailing* (used windsurfers and small sailboats can be less than $1k; not great, but an option), motorcycles*, monowheels, fixer cars, mountain biking, sports (ultimate frisbee, pickleball, soccer, outdoor volleyball, basketball, baseball; all will probably have young adults in organized ways), dancing [don’t discount this one! Especially if you can find a swing club nearby, you will have tons of fun], mud runs, rock climbing*, bodybuilding…

Man, I can’t even think of all the clubs/hobbies I’ve briefly talked to people about. You can definitely find something out there that you’ll enjoy, but you may have to try a loooot. Don’t give up hope.

*these are probably a bigger investment or money sink than the others, either requiring gear, a significant training period, or ongoing costs for travel/maintenance

Similar boat (sans furry), and I’ve recently decided I’m tired of being lonely. I’ve started going to a trivia night at a local bar that someone from my church hosts, even though I end up playing alone each week*, and I found a MCC church (basically, gay church) and went there, where I found a gay men’s discussion group I’m going to attend on Monday. I have two friends, both straight, but I’m hoping to get them and some people other people either through them or through trivia/discussion group to help start a bowling team.

*Even though I’m the only one playing without a team, I’ve come in second twice!

If you’re interested in making friends with furries online, DM me I know of a telegram chat specifically for that purpose.

dear onlookers, i swear i am not a furry, dear op, there is this app called Barq that i haven’t made any lasting friendships on, but the people i’ve connected with are weird enough that their interests are usually more likely to line up with mine, my most reliable pokemon go raid buddy i met through it, also i used an app for a bit called Meetup that had a lot of weekly events and stuff on it, went to a few game nights in random cafes around my town through it, so depending on your area that can help

Meetups and clubs based around certain interests have worked well for me.

Examples: writing clubs, chess clubs, book clubs, hiking clubs, debate clubs, etc.

I have trouble at parties where I have to find things to talk about with people I don’t know, but at interest clubs then we’re all there for the same purpose and there’s a clear thing to talk about! If you hit it off with anyone, then you can begin hanging out outside of the club

I met my best friend while we were both volunteering to help kids with some stuff we’re both really good at.

We’re both nerdy about the same things. I made a few friends from that activity but only one has stood the test of time 🥹

Do those Duolingo toons count as ‘people’? We have conversations…

it’s hard to be brave enough to approach new people

I was talking to my wife yesterday about how I gained social skills as an adult, and part of it was making a deliberate effort to start conversations with at least a few strangers everyday. Not hold a conversation, merely start one. Doing this for a while helps you get comfortable making chit chat and feeling out if it’s worth continuing a conversation, and breaks down the idea that every conversation has to be meaningful.

Not sure if this helps you, but it really helped me.

As for where to go, look for gatherings like flea markets, car shows, street fairs, anything. Even if you don’t care about the topic, be there for the people, and keep an open, curious mind. Maybe even make a game out of it, like the meow game, or some other goofy phrase, or try to ask a variety of people the same question. Or bring something that is a conversation starter like a dog, or juggling balls, or something small related to your furry hobby. The idea is to be around people in a mode that makes interaction easy.

Meeting people is just the first part though. Moving on to friendship obviously takes more work and time.

In my country it’s possible to join clubs, for instance for a sport you like. I also like it as a way to meet new people because there is time to talk but also an activity to avoid awkward silences.

The longest friend I’ve ever had is someone I met in school that lives on the other side of the continent… I haven’t seen them in maybe half a lifetime now.

Buy we send each other funny stuff and random updates. I don’t know why it has lasted, other than that there are low expectations and it’s mutual. It’s actually really refreshing.