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That my parents knew what they were doing, made good choices, and were reasonable people.
No, no, … and no.
That I’d grow up to eat candy, collect baseball cards, play video games, and read comic books.
No (type II diabetes runs in my family), no (wtf is a baseball card anyway), no (video games were replaced with homework permanently), and — well, actually — yes.
I love a good comic book, graphic novel, and/or animated series.
That enough hot water bath could work just as well as sunbathing for getting a tan. Hey, both things can burn your skin, it’s perfectly logical!
We found a dead baby bird. Was told most animal babies don’t live to adulthood. Knew people were animals so it was likely me and most of my friends would be dead by 21
I thought that if you swallowed your gum, it would stay in your stomach forever, so you had to make sure to never do it because eventually there would be no room for food anymore.
Also, old CRT TVs had this static electricity sort of fuzzy feeling on the screen, and if you ran your hand over it, it would dissipate. I thought that by doing that, you were absorbing the TVs power and if you did it too much, it would eventually stop working.
Lastly, I believed with all my heart that all the pets you ever owned were waiting for you in heaven and it made me mad when my (very devout Catholic) grandma told me that pets and animals don’t have souls and so they didn’t go to heaven. I said if that was true then I didn’t want to go to heaven! I’m atheist now, so I don’t even believe that anyone goes to heaven, but if anyone deserves to go, it’s all the kitties, puppies, and various rodentia I’ve loved in my life.
At my Catholic high school, one of the teachers who was a Dominican sister told us that animals can’t go to heaven but it’s possible for them to be recreated in heaven.
I feel fine as long as my rabbit didn’t go to purgatory or hell, but non-eternal souls are hard to relate to
When I was young and hanging with my great aunt’s church friends, we were walking to the store. I went to link arms with my great aunt and her friend was like, “Hey, that’s dangerous. You can’t defend yourself. Someone could jump you.” From that point, I assumed that anyone who was linking arms was, like, giving a show of dominance. Like, “Yeah, we’re linked up, because we can still take anybody even with only one arm.” Didn’t change that mindset until I was in middle school after I tried to explain to my friend how dangerous walking with her boyfriend was because “how would they defend themselves.” 🙃
I used to think “change” you got from a store was just the business being nice and making sure you didn’t walk away without any money.
I believed that you’d only get a finite amount of words in your life. So I didn’t speak much and I would think that the annoying kids in school that always were talking through the teacher’s explanation, would get their punishment later in life when they’d go mute because they would have used up all their words.
Hiccups mean youre growing.
Thanks parents.
That Pluto is a planet.
That our blood was blue, but turned red when exposed to air and light. All because a teacher told us so.
Oh yeah I had a few.
- That the moon you see during daytime is actually Mars (I then repeated that to my big sister and she believed it for an embarrassingly long amount of time)
- That the “up” arrows on traffic lights were for planes
Me in the middle of my flight when my plane pauses in midair to wait for a traffic light
That all large salty bodies of water were called “the mediterranean sea.”
That my parents never had parents. Sure, I had grandparents and saw them daily, but I somehow never realized that they were my dad’s parents.
That people with a beard where poor people. I always felt sorry for them not able to afford a shaving kit.
The preferred term is hobo-chic actually.
I mean, it’s a reasonable correlation if not a connection. Inaction is often cheaper than action, in time, effort, and money, and beard basically grows itself.
I thought chocolate was a color
