The gift needs to be able to come off as a genuine gift so there’s some plausible deniability…
Edit: Just so it’s clear, this is purely hypothetical. I just thought of the idea and thought it would be funny to see what a random person on Lemmy might think. This isn’t a serious request and none of the suggestions will ever actually be used.
Mouthwash, breath mints, deodorant… Basically any hygiene product.
Most folks have at least 1 commonplace food item that they can’t stand. This time of year food gift baskets are everywhere and often specialized to certain tastes. So you get them something that looks like a nice goodie basket but then most things in it are tainted by a thing they don’t like.
For me it would be licorice / anise.
I haven’t tried anise but licorice is really good. Especially salted licorice!
Yes, I am Scandinavian.
Make a charitable donation in their name, and put it in a card. This is actually genuine as you spent actual money, but it’s also kind of an anti-gift. Sometimes the donation even gives you a free gift like a calendar or T shirt which you can pass along. Some people may be triggered by specific charities like The Satanic Temple, or Planned Parenthood. I would be quite upset if somebody gifted me a PeTa donation. But in that unlikely event, I would laugh and gift them back a Heifer International donation.
One trick I heard is to get them a gift card towards a Las Vegas vacation. If they go to Vegas they are way more likely to lose money than win at the tables.
That doesn’t sound insulting, it just sounds like you’re giving them negative money.
True, but I think it’s in the spirit of the question.
Someone once told me that in certain circles it’s considered rude to give a book as a gift, because it implies that the person is ignorant. May have been a joke.
At one workplace secret Santa (which I always declined to participate in), one recipient got an empty spherical clamshell with cardboard retainer on which was printed the word “Nothing”, visible through the clamshell. The joke being that it was supposed to be “I didn’t know what to get you, so I got you nothing.”
This was not intended as an insult by the secret Santa, but was taken as one by the recipient who must have spent significantly more on whatever their recipient got.
Only you can judge how your recipient would take such a gift, but if this seems like a good idea to you you can probably find them on sale somewhere. (NB: I accept no responsibility if you choose this course of action.)
If I remember correctly, one of the recipients of a better gift thought it was funny so swapped their gift with it to cheer up the unhappy recipient. I am not sure if the swapper was their secret Santa or not.
There had been much offence, pouting and sulking… from a grown man.
Birthdays: birthday cake flavored vodka (implies they are a drunk)
And peppermint schnapps for Christmas
Give them a gift card, but you’ve spent more than half of it.
Or give them a gift card to a store that either does not exist in their area or a store that they wouldn’t want to shop in.
Blockbuster gift card.
“Oops I forgot” is a powerful weapon here: condoms for a buddy who’s trying for a baby, funny dog meme for a person whose dog just died, gift certificate to romantic restaurant for someone who just broke up with their partner, etc. They can’t prove you didn’t forget about their issue
That was so good after the lovefest of items that Guz, Desiree, and Morgana brought in.
I liked the Canadian government giving Trump a framed photo of a former family business established in the Yukon: a bordello!
Premium expensive aftershave be sure to get it giftwrapped aswell. It can be a knockback whammy, you tell them they stink and you pay an arm and a leg to tell them.
Someone called it insulting once when I donated all my socks that didn’t have a second sock.
A gift card for a shop that sells cringe stuff only
paper bag full of dog dookie, with “plant fertilizer” written on it
