Xmas, new year, valentine’s… Seems like the festivities are there just to remind me how much I failed as an adult man incapable of getting company. It’s been over a decade since I’ve felt this way and nothing changes.
Alcohol and porn has lost its charm over the years.
Your worth as a person isn’t measured by your ability to find a romantic companion
You are simply a person, people of the alternate gender are simply people. There is no magic transition that happens when you find a relationship, people are depressed in and out of love.
My recommendation is to find community, leave the house, look for public events, join board game nights, pick up a hobby like pottery or biking or a specific video game, get really into something and enjoy your platonic time with people who also enjoy that thing.
Platonic relationships have just as much value as romantic relationships.
I’ve been into videogames all my life. If anything it has made me even more lonely.
Also after my temporary full time job (I’m sure I’ll get fired after the holidays) I’m just tired.
Not lonely anymore, but I spent about 10 years having every single holiday by myself. What worked for me personally was either ignore the holiday or just have an all-out bash on my own. I understand how it might not work for other people but celebrating on my own helped me learn that I should value my own time and appreciate what I can do for myself. If I ignored the holiday, it was because I didn’t want to cook for myself.
There’s no problem being alone as long as you value and appreciate what you can do alone.
Now with that being said, I spend the majority of my time with my wife now and she respects my time and space the way it is. I wouldn’t have been able to find that if I didn’t first respect myself and my own time and space
Hey fam! I’m not doing anything on christmas day, and @friendless@lemmy.blahaj.zone had a post today where they said they didn’t have anything that day either.
How about on christmas day all of us get together on a post somewhere and talk! You know, we can just chat like we’re at a party or something?! We can post images and song links and… I dunno… type out song lyrics and complete each other’s sentences and stuff?
Maybe we can make it a megathread on a community like… hm…
- !casualconversation@lemm.ee - I suggest this one
- !general@lemmy.world
- !actual_discussion@lemmy.ca
- !casualuk@feddit.uk
what do ya say?!?
This is so wholesome. I like the idea
Awesome, its’ happening here, come say hi: https://redlemmy.com/post/redlemmy.com/67792
+1 on this crowdsourcing holiday chillzone marathon!
Awesome, come say hi here: https://lemmynsfw.com/post/19860897
I have a screaming pillow.
It’s for screaming, the pillow itself cannot scream.
though, if it could…
…there might be other uses for it that would ease the loneliness.
Find a passion that isn’t porn, or alcohol, irrespective of the season. Since (I assume) you have time off, use it to find something else to try and get good at. Such as improving your strength and endurance at the gym, learning a new language, starting a new project, taking up a new instrument, read a history book or any book, etc., going to a new place, learning to cook a new kind of meal, etc. etc.
I gave up on those before
All of the above? And you’re not willing to try any of them again?
Yea
If I could hibernate through the holidays I would. If I could go one year without my mothers annual holiday threat of suicide, and the ramblings about how nobody loves her. I’d be a lot more excited for the holidays.
Always around if you need to chat, hope it blows over soon and the new year brings some peace and happiness. Happy Holidays Stranger, you got this.
Me and dog are doing just fine, thank you. I make some traditional foods, we eat well and then we chill.
(I left my last relationship a couple of years ago and I’m very content living by myself. I’m invited to some friends place but honestly though I love them I can’t be arsed. I’ll see them some other day that isn’t hectic and supposedly special.)
Talk to my therapist and try to do something that helps people or animals.
Options to consider: I. Professional company keepers if you can afford it.
II. Keep busy with Work - I use such holidays as free Overtime shift gathering glitch. Workflow seem to be mid anyway, would rather get paid than hanging out at home alone if i can’t avoid it.
Pay your self with some type of travel or self-care after this ,holiday vacationers pressure must have subsided by that time anyway.
III.An alternative will be to volunteer at hospitals to keep senior citizens company or foodbanks/ pantry or local community based need. This can be planned ahead in case necessary screening is needed.
IV. You can start a Lemmy4Lemmy holiday company discord or something adjacent to r4r SFW and or NSFW. Beware of sellers and bots though.
I just work a lot and I don’t have enough downtime to let the depression sink in.
If you are from a distant and rather abusive home-life try moving into a neighborhood where a large group of people hate you. it almost feels like home.
Liquor
That’s a realistic one for once. But unfortunately my body can’t take it, I was one step from becoming an alcoholic.
This is the first year I’m going to be alone. I guess you can boil it down to family dramaticism. I’ve semi-joked I’ve been prepping by asking who else nearby could use a spare dedicated Christian woman.
Walk around & enjoy the view & play video-games & talk to people like you (not meant as an insult)
Aww Platy that sucks :( sorry to hear that
Looking forward to more great comments from our wonderful Lemmyfam
