Carlo Acutis, a teenage website developer, was attributed a second miracle by Pope Francis, advancing his path to becoming the first millennial saint.
Look, if my code compiles on the first try, I’d call that a miracle as well, but I ain’t no saint.
Just pray to Carlo Acutis everytime you compile
If you can make my code compile on the first try then you are
If there’s a developer deserving of sainthood it’s Terry Davies of TempleOS fame. But I’m not sure if he counts as Catholic.
I was about to say that he was a racist and homophobic, but then remembered that wouldn’t be a problem. Hell, might even up his chances.
Wasn’t he also a paranoid schizophrenic? Depending on how it manifests, that shit can change your entire personality.
Rip Terry
And lo did St Carlo the Broccoli Headed droppeth his divine merch upon thy gyats, absent of any fanum tax, and the fam was filled with much rizz. Sicut erat in principio, et nunc, et semper, et in saecula skibidi. Amen.
You’re using slang from the wrong generation, bae. That’s so extra of you, but lowkey I still think you’re lit so don’t get salty with me or I’ll be shook.
Let’s get turnt!
He haveth no concubines, for his rizz was only for the LORD.
Wait so according to the article, someone prayed to him while in hospital and got healed? Is that all it takes to become a Saint? I wonder: if I ever get into a hospital I should pray to say Genghis Khan just to troll the Church.
Think about how weird that is for a minute. This guy wasn’t a saint when people were praying to him. So do Catholics just go around praying to randos until 3 people pray to the same rando and then are like “aha! a saint!” ?
They’re not exactly randos. But yup, that’s the gist of it.
Sorry I’m not a Catholic. What’s the intermediate step between rando and saint?
As far as I recall, you need to perform 3 miracles that have to be verified (yes, I know lmao) by the Catholic church in order to be canonized (dubbed a saint).
Often times these aren’t major miracles with significant outcomes but picture a statue crying or the image of the person appearing on a slice of toast or whatever.
Yeah but 2 of this guy’s 3 were healing people that prayed to him. Which is what spawned my question: so Catholics pray to non-saints?
State of bliss
It needs to happen twice. I would help you but I still poses the indestructibility of youth.
spoiler
I think the person also needs to be Catholic.
I think Genghis Khan has to heal at least two people.
If you’re American pray to some rich fuck to clear your medical bills. Imagine the collective circle jerk if it was Saint Elon? The dick riding would be insane! Hahaha
Went with the Yahoo! link as they are guaranteed to not have some sort of paywall that pops out of nowhere. Also because the Insider used a video, so this is an actual word transcription
Also wut
All religions are jokes. But this shit right here…
The painting of Carlo is hilarious. I imagine it’s solemn ceremony and the painting is Carlo wearing normal clothes.
It’s going to be real disorienting looking at the portraits of Saints. It’s going to start from ancient clothing to formal more contemporary clothing to a saint were a bright red jacket with a backpack on.
He turns water into Mtn dew
That’s nothing! My dog turns water to piss. He’s clearly the second coming.
How the fuck can anyone take this shit seriously? Religion is a scourge on all of us, turning the feeble-minded into an instrument for the benefit of evil sociopaths.
The two “miracles”
Acutis was beatified by Pope Francis in October 2020 after a first miracle was attributed to him, involving a Brazilian boy born with a pancreatic defect who said he was healed after praying to Acutis.
According to Vatican News, the news portal of the Holy See, the second miracle involved a Costa Rican woman whose daughter had a bicycle accident and was given a low chance of survival by doctors.
Vatican News said the mother, Liliana, prayed at Acutis’ tomb in Assisi, Italy, and claimed that her daughter recovered soon after.
I literally lol’d. A religious person can explain this to me but does the old testament not poo poo praying to anyone who is not God?
Fucking Catholics man. How many saints they up to? It’s it ballooning again after the great purge a while back?
I’m not religious but I’m interested in religion.
You are applying the Protestant framework (I can save myself) to Catholicism (only through the church can I be saved) hence why you invoke Bible as a final arbiter of what is and isn’t allowed.
In the old churches (Catholic, Orthodox etc) “Canon” is a combination of early church fathers writings, tradition, the bible and pronunciations of the current head of the church. Furthermore in Catholicism the bible is largely treated as allegorical, not literal.
Now since you are definitionally a sinner, and since salvation can only be obtained through the intermediaries of God: the church, being part of the church mysteries (baptism, communion, prayer, confession etc) is far more important than following any specific part of the bible.
Praying to Saints is not considered a sin since you are under no misapprehension that you are praying to a god, or that they are anything more than humans that lived an exemplary life and are amongst God’s favourite children. It’s like asking the local lord for a favour - you are not confusing him with the king.
It’s a marketing thing.
Huh, figured the pope would be too busy bashing trans people and protecting paedophiles.
Everybody needs a break sometimes.
He’s unlocked recursive miracle attribution. That he was attributed 2 miracles is itself a third miracle. Some guy getting 3 miracles? That’s another miracle…
It’s honestly a little weird that more saints aren’t literal children, given the predilections of Catholics and the fact that the world doesn’t give a crap about said predilections.
The patron saint of the internet. If you pray to him and touch one of his shirts you’ll be healed.
For anyone else who wondered how a teenage website dev could also be a millennial, in 2024, (and didn’t want to read the article) he died of lukemia in 2006 at age 15.
