A shop assistant in Guernsey has been awarded 40 sausage rolls for 40 years of service.
Fifty-six-year-old Kevin Parsons started working at the island’s Alliance supermarket in 1984.
Bosses marked the anniversary by giving him a certificate, a tropical-themed mural for his home and a sausage roll for each of his next 40 shifts.
Mr Parsons, who was described as an “Alliance celebrity” by bosses, said “words can’t express my appreciation” for his gifts.
40 years is almost a lifetime. That’s almost straight from school/college to retirement.
In a better reality: “Besides this huge bonus we have also made a big payment towards your retirement fund to make sure you are set for life.”
Yikes.
“Eat these unhealthy things quickly and die so we can hire someone for less” ~ manager probably.
What gets me is the parallel between the animals likely suffering horrible abuse before being killed and typical employee life.
When I started in my job, people got a watch for their 10th jubilee, and even bigger presents for later ones. When I was there for nine years, they dropped the idea of jubilee gifts. Maybe the boss unearths that tradition again - next year, I’m working here for 30 years. And hopefully, the gift will not be something like 30m of cable or something…
Maybe a 30cm ruler
Yes, this is wildly stupid. But also it’s a local independent retailer according to the article so I feel less hostile towards it
All expired stock
What does “mural” mean in British English? I feel like getting gifted a mural from my work would be disproportionately cool.
A painted wall. Presumably, someone paints it on his wall, as opposed to them delivering a pre-painted wall.
That’s what I thought 🤔 don’t get me wrong I’m sure this dudes been exploited for 40 years and that’s shitty as fuck but a mural sounds like a rad gift
It’s not a big supermarket chain (they have two stores in Jersey and Guernsey), so likely treat their workers better. As the bosses presumably know all their workers it does mean this is a bit more personal than just some HR drone punching a button because their details flashed up on a screen.
It’s absolutely going to be a mural of a massive sausage roll
It will be like this:
I assume when they say tropical they mean a sandy beach with waves lapping on the sand, palm trees coming down to the beaches edge and reclining on the sand is a massive sausage roll.
I feel like the cost of a tropical themed mural could be better spent on like, a tropical vacation. But I don’t know, I’m not a mural guy.
I hope they’re bringing in a true master of the art from the Shankhill Road.
My headcanon is his boss kept trying to give him a lovely tropical vacation for retirement and he kept saying “nah, i’d rather sit at home and relax”, hence the tropical themed mural for his home.
This is now official canon.
