In mormonism if you don’t do their special ceremonies and have multiple wives, you lose your dick for eternity. I learned that in Sunday school when I was 12 lol.
Mormon theology also pretty much just cuts the Gordian knot proposed in this post by saying, “Fuck yeah he’s got a dick. Uses it ALL THE TIME.” I believe that a “perfected body” was the verbiage I was taught in Sunday School. Tritheistic heresy, Shmitheistic Shmeresy…
Begins pissing in a whirling dervish
Kid: “Then I won’t do the ceremony because I never wanted a dick in the first place.”
Mormons: “No! That’s not how you play the game!”
You should know how much time Christian monks spent reasoning about the foreskin of Christ.
It’s a lot.
Long enough to postulate that once the Jesus ascended, his foreskin ascended as well and become. The. Rings. Of. Saturn.
Sky will never be the same, won’t it?
That’s it, I’m using He/Him pronouns now.
I wouldn’t call them neopronouns, they’re more like archeopronouns.
There are several other gods and goddesses named in the old testament, so I’m willing to buy that the Christian god has a dick, and it’s for inserting into goddesses. And given the personality on display by said diety, I’d wager said dick could pass through the eye of a needle and still have room for the camel.
The whole capitalization of pronouns thing was pretty much entirely made up around the 19th century anyway (as well as the capitalizing the word “Lord”, which the King James version invented outright), so you can argue that protestant churches are following a woke plot to change the pronouns of the christian god as well.
LORD vs Lord does hold some distinction in the source material. IIRC LORD is for uses of the divine name whereas the other ones are not. But then you have the whole, El, Elohim, tetragrammaton, god, lord, etc. mess with them probably not historically referring to the same entity to begin with, but that whole book is a mess.
Now I’m wondering if God has a belly button….cause that would imply an umbilical cord
Nah, that would be silly.
God is more like a platypus. No nipples or bellybutton (but could surely produce milk if they felt like it), venomous, and hatched from an egg.
God created both men and women in his image, so he must have biological gender traits from both.
Intersex God!!! That implies intersex people are divine! Now if only Christians would stop trying to “fix” God’s most divine creations…
According to Mormons, god is literally male, with (perfect) male genitalia. There is also a god–the-mother, who is female, and is both secret and sacred (they really don’t like talking about her), and also utterly subservient to god the father, because of course she is. According to Mormon theology, both gods were once mortal, and were raised up to godhood by their godly parents; Mormons–if they’re good enough–can go to Mormon super-heaven, where they will also become gods in their own right. Before everyone was born physically, they were born spiritually, in… More or less the same way babies are born now, except in heaven, to a heavenly mom. And there were hundreds of billions of spirit babies, so I guess that god the dad and god the mom really like sex or something? The implications start getting really, really weird, very fast. Which is part of the reason why Mormons don’t usually want to talk about stuff like this with people that aren’t Mormon.
I believe that the quote is, “As man is, so once was god. As god is, so man can become,” or something like that.
Source: was Mormon for >25 years.
Congrats for getting out I guess?
To paraphrase Nietzsche, that which doesn’t kill you psychologically scars you and leaves you with a lifetime of therapy bills.
Hey pills are great, apparently quite a few people like them. Can you recommend any?
Currently I recommend bupropion and atomoxetine, but once I get an appointment with a psychiatrist, I’ll probably recommend lisdexamphetamine.
Modafanil is pretty great too.
If you ask about gender in death, people will just look at you weird.
There’s compounding evidence that a lot of religious canon was simply written by mankind as a kind of societal control.
The living should be kinder to one another.
💙
Societal control is the name of the game, friend.
You see, god stoked his divine dick and then, there came a big bang and billions of galaxy came out of the ejaculated foam.
Couple of fun facts about this :
so God themself while referred to in English as a he refers to themselves as ’ I am ’ technically I think we should be using they them pronouns but English was traditionally a gendered language.
Jesus on the other hand 100% had a dick. Whether he kept that or not, post ascension that’s up for interpretation but Jesus was 100% biologically male.
Jesus on the other hand 100% had a dick. […] Jesus was 100% biologically male.
Oh did they find his body?
Wouldn’t it be more reasonable to conclude that the probability of Jesus being biologically male equals the human average of males being biologically male? Ie 99.5%.
Couldn’t his radical compassion for outcasts and the downtrodden be related to personal struggles growing up with gender dysphoria?
If you believe he was conceived in a virgin, wouldn’t it be MORE likely that he had XX chromosomes?
We are discussing biological sex as in the parts we are not discussing gender.
Yeah, and I’m positing that the probability he did not have a penis is at least 0.5%.
Well the Holy Spirit 100% has a dick given he was the one that inseminated Mary.
…i like the way you think
Want to know why life is always fucking you? If God has a dick, his dick would be omnipresent therefore you’re constantly being dicked by God.
