This seems like a XKCD / Randall Munroe “What if” kind of question. I.e., how long would a person survive if all of the water inside them was turned into wine?
Wine is 15% alcohol.
Human are 60% water.
Human weight around 70kg
70 x 0.6 = 42 L
42 x 0.15 = 6.3 L of pure alcohol.
You’d probably die before ingesting that amount tho
What if all the water turned to wine at 1 standard drink per hour
Seconds as wine amd water do not have the same consistency. Your blood cells won’t move effectively enough and a BAC of 6% is extremely fatal as most will die at .6%
Probably 0.00 seconds.
That’s what I’m talking about. OK then.
To be specific, it’d likely immediately fuck up the electrical signals in the brain, thus killing the brain.
Can Jesus turn the water in wine into wine?
Jesus invented brandy.
Better quality version:
Source: Instagram
Wine is 80-90% water. So that can be turned into wine with a wine base. And so forth. What is the end result?
Ethanol with grape flavouring
Port.
To be fair, if he is good at his powers, he can probably turn just enough to have the person pass out without alcohol poisoning.
I’d lead with the whole resurrection thing.
This is actually (spoilers for terrible movie Scales: Mermaids Are Real) the climax of the movie Scales. Mermaids can control water and their blood heals people in that movie, so hunters are trying to get their blood and then one guy tries a last ditch bad guy move and the main character pulls all the water out of his body and he horrifically melts.
Kind of made me side with the hunters at that point it’s a horrifying power.
woah Jesus is a water bender??
I didn’t see that coming. Nice surprise at the end.
Fucking weak as humans now. In my day we were 75% water and probably like 5-15 % lead. /S
Replace the lead with microplastics
Lamentable, we had the finest Tupperware back in those days you could see fish flake shards of micro plastics scratching off.
Miss when superheroes had vague wording in their powers, leap great distances could scale up and down , mean anything
So if wine is between 80-90% water anyway, doesn’t seem that impressive.
Turn the water in the wine into wine
https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1t4rsf I think the author watched this
If you could control the percentage and get rid of those pesky wine parts, this would be a damn useful power, kill, incapacitate or make drunk depending on BAC.
Excellent against superheroes, most of them are lightweight tea totals, although a mean drunk Superman would be a bad day. Might be tricky to judge the level with the Supes from The Boys though…
Never been impressed by the “water to wine” miracle.
My S/O can turn anything into whine.
Did you have to help a chicken cross the road making that joke?
