If a Catholic AI won’t be allowed to officiate my wedding, at least Taco Bell will host it. So we’re still not far from Idiocracy!
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Does AWOL mean something other than “Absent without leave”? Cuz that’s a weird way to describe a computer algorithm.
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…aight so I’m definitely not a theologist, but… according to christianity, or catholocism specifically… is there actually any rule against using gatorade for a baptism? I’d assume it just says “water”, but there’s water in gatorade. Sure there’s also other shit in gatorade, but there’s other shit in tap water too. Even distilled water isn’t going to be 100% pure.
And if gatorade’s cool, where do they draw the line? Could you baptize a baby with honey? Or drop a steak onto the kid’s face (there’s water in those too!). Does it even have to be liquid water? Like what if you just threw some icecubes at the kid, or blasted some steam in its face??
So many questions!
To answer your first question, AWOL is also used colloquially to describe people wildly or destructively ignoring the responsibilities of their job. So it’d be an apt descriptor if it was talking about a REAL priest but in this case it’s just flowery wording (presumably for alliteration)
Think rogue would be a better descriptor.
@Sterile_Technique
Not catholic, so I don’t know their official position, but as I understand, in extreme circumstances any liquid will do.
Part of it involves the idea of “washing”, or “being washed”, so solid water or water in solids would not count. And also the idea of purification, but many use dirty river water.the idea of “washing”, or “being washed”, so solid water or water in solids would not count.
You could make a solid (HA!) argument for exfoliative or percussive removal of debris from the kid’s head via scraping or knocking the nasty-bits free via the holy projectiles.
There was a picture going around during the pandemic of a religious leader performing a baptism with a super soaker. So, at least in some Christian denominations, that’s totally cool. And if Gatorade is okay…
Can you baptize people with a supersoaker full of piss?
“That’s not piss.”
- Alter boy
is there actually any rule against using gatorade for a baptism?
It’s better, cuz it’s got electrolytes.
Does it even have to be liquid water?
So like, ice X at 60 gigapascals and -120 °C?
It’s better, cuz it’s got electrolytes.
It’s what souls crave!
So like, ice X at 60 gigapascals and -120 °C?
What’s the worse that could happen?
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The Electric Monk was a labour-saving device, like a dishwasher or a video recorder. Dishwashers washed tedious dishes for you, thus saving you the bother of washing them yourself, video recorders watched tedious television for you, thus saving you the bother of looking at it yourself; Electric Monks believed things for you, thus saving you what was becoming an increasingly onerous task, that of believing all the things the world expected you to believe.
Unfortunately this Electric Monk had developed a fault, and had started to believe all kinds of things, more or less at random. It was even beginning to believe things they’d have difficulty believing in Salt Lake City. It had never heard of Salt Lake City, of course. Nor had it ever heard of a quingigillion, which was roughly the number of miles between this valley and the Great Salt Lake of Utah.
Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency, Douglas Adams, 1987, in case anyone was wondering.
I was always in two minds of the TV series, good characters but a poor interpretation.
At least AI can’t rape children physically.
It thought this was the new Vatican DLC for Civ VI when I saw the image, lol
Father Justin, will you trade my 25 Diplomatic Favour for 20 horses please?
Father Justin agrees, then sends Apostles to each of your cities and coverts them.
Father Justin then warns you that OUR WORDS ARE BACKED WITH NUCLEAR WEAPONS
Imagine the Papal States never dissolving and becoming a nuclear-armed power in the 20th century, using the threat of nuclear annihilation to maintain their independence and increase their global influence.
That would be an interesting alternative history scenario.
I’d read that novel. I bet you could find a lot of creative uses for all that rapture talk.
[ Ghandi enters the chat ]
What flavors did it deem acceptable? My denomination draws the line at Riptide Rush.
Church of Glacier Cherry rise up!
My denomination only uses riptide rush and we will bomb your fucking church over this
Yo I am also of the church of rush. 🟣
THATS THE WRONG SHADE OF PURPLE HEATHEN
We dont infight in the church of rush, friend. There simply was no other emoji applicable.
Why would you draw the line at the best flavor?
Obviously you don’t baptise babies in Gatorade, you use Mountain Dew Baja Blast.
These damn simpletons
Christians are remarkably inconsistent about what is natural and good or unnatural and bad.
True, although I’m guessing "you can’t baptize someone in Gatorade’ would be something virtually all Christians would think.
If my hasty checking is valid, there’s nothing in the Bible about holy water. There’s holding a baptism, but nothing about holy men blessing water to imbue it with the Holy Spirit.
As such, I assume that any liquid blessed by a priest might be considered holy.
Something something Godly Gatorade, Blessed Baja Blast etc.
I think it’s one of those ‘spirit of the law, not letter of the law’ things.
Obviously, it’s gotta be Powerade Mountain Berry Blast or you just damned that person to hell.
Idiocracy
CatholicTM brand Holy Baptizer 2000 brought to you by BRANWDO! (The Thirst Mutilator!)
It’s got electrolytes
what babies crave!
seriously, are you gonna baptize that baby in toilet water?!
