I have imposter syndrome, both at work and in my relationship.
Posting things online.
I have no “traditional” social media accounts, and over half the comments I type here I delete without posting. I don’t like people judging me & talking behind my back, so my introvert tendencies include semi anonymous things like Lemmy.
Looks. Never liked the face, I always look tired or otherwise scary. I’m absolutely blessed to have a preference in living my own life, I can’t imagine trying dating or anything.
I have imposter syndrome in life. I constantly feel like having to behave in a way I’m not. I’m often times scared in the public in fear of embarrassment or whatever. Certain scenarios already make me freak out in my head before they even have a chance to occur. I keep on not … living … enjoying life. always fearsome of bad things to happen in the future, not giving myself time and room to grieve. My last relationship took my belief that everything is going to be fine, and I was kinda bitter before that already.
I also have imposters at work esp. because I don’t have any degree whatsoever to prove that I know what I am doing, but since it’s worked out for a couple of years that is kind of the least worry most of the time.
Take it from me op. Drop the imposter stuff in your relationship, that can kill a relationship. I very nearly lost my wife early on because “I just can’t believe you want to be with me”. That isn’t attractive.
They like you, that’s why they’re with you. They weren’t tricked, you didn’t fool them, they like you. Who you are. All you gotta do is like them back :)
I have a mild speech impairment. I don’t stutter on a daily basis but when I’m under heavy stress or when I’m tired I tend to stutter-ish. On top of that I live in a country where I don’t speak in my native language and sometimes I feel self-conscious about small mistakes I make (like using the wrong word or messing up the grammar) which induces the stress response. It’s not a big deal but it makes me crazy when I can’t express my thoughts in public.
I don’t mean to belittle your feelings about it, but I would find that cute af. There are certainly people around you that would feel the same.
Well, sometimes I get away with some petty wrongdoings just because I stutter. And I’ve learned it to use it for my advantage. Just to be clear, I’m not abusing this “power”, it’s mostly “organic”.
people who shit on people for imperfect language are insecure assholes.
it’s just as stupid online when people grammar police you for written words.
I have this mildly interesting story. When I moved to Australia I’ve shipped whole bunch of things by sea to cut the cost. It took months to arrive but when I finally got here I had to pick up my stuff from a storage location. The best part is that because I’m a white guy the person who was designed to handle the forklift (also white) was more than helpful (despite my accent and some grammar issues). But once the delivery guys arrived (mostly middle east) he turned into racist asshole. And the “best” part was that I was part of his racial slurs, mostly because I wasn’t using proper grammar…
I don’t have a girlfriend (because I can’t get one) when everyone around me is in a relationship.
do women approach you or flirt with you?
Unfortunately no. If it was the opposite, I wouldn’t be in this situation.
So when I was dating a while back I was apparently fuckin terrible at picking up hints. the ladies were dropping hints but my insecurities had brainwashed me into not seeing them. It was embarrassingly bad on my part.
One thing I had to learn was that if I asked someone out and they said no or didn’t reciprocate wasn’t a loss or rejection. You’re in the same space and you can move on.
One thing I had to learn was that if I asked someone out and they said no or didn’t reciprocate wasn’t a loss or rejection.
Not only that, but you dodged a bullet. I thank women when they respectfully reject me. It’s awesome.
Also, think about all the times you were turned down. Does any of that matter now?? Nope. No one involved cares at all if they even remember. I think something that might help with this is for OP to place themselves in a position where they reject others. They could experience the other side and see that it’s not a bad thing. It’s just that they think it’s not for them and nothing else. And even in the rare chance that the rejection is seen as something else by the rejecting person, then even better because that’s not just dodging a bullet but dodging an artillery shell.
Not getting enough updootes.
You ever think maybe you don’t have imposter syndrome? You’re just telling yourself you do because it feels like it, but you actually don’t have it at all.
