I’m new to the bidet scene, and this one has me slightly confounded. Should I install a new towel rack next to the toilet? Should my wife and I share the towel? Do you wipe first? There are so many unanswered questions in the ways of bidet-ing!

  • Buddahriffic@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    I use 3 squares of TP, folded twice (into 4 layers). I never transitioned to a towel because the spray doesn’t always get everything and the 3 squares are enough to dry it.

    Trim your pubes back there and on your balls. It can make a big difference in how much water you can hold back there. I was using an extra two squares before my last trim.

  • Donebrach@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    Spray with bidet then dry with toilet paper. Why are people so confounded by these things? Have y’all never used water to bathe before?

    • PenisWenisGenius@lemmynsfw.com
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      3 days ago
      1. Because it’s a funny haha bathroom post

      2. if you have to wipe with toilet paper anyway, doesn’t that defeat the purpose of having a bidet?

      3. Actually I’m a lemmy user, I use Arch btw, live in my mom’s basement, I’ve never been on a date and I never go outside. Of course I’ve never used water to bathe before.

      • Sentau@discuss.tchncs.de
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        3 days ago

        if you have to wipe with toilet paper anyway, doesn’t that defeat the purpose of having a bidet?

        No. The purpose of the bidet is to properly clean your posterior which cannot be achieved with a toilet paper alone. Also the amount of toilet paper needed to dry is lower than the amount needed to ‘clean’

      • ameancow@lemmy.world
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        2 days ago

        if you have to wipe with toilet paper anyway, doesn’t that defeat the purpose of having a bidet?

        The purpose of a bidet isn’t necessarily to make toilet paper unnecessary, it’s to clean properly. Before getting a bidet I would just step into the shower and use the removable shower head to wash my ass with a little soap and warm water, towel off after, bam super clean. I still do that, but now the bidet can save a step if I’m in a hurry.

        Basically, try this experiment. (Quoted from some comedian) Smear some poop on the back of your hand. Then wipe it with dry paper and nothing else. Do you feel clean? Ready to go through the day? Of course not! You want to actually wash that off, and that’s the pleasant feeling from using a stream of water to feel thoroughly clean, not just removing residue but getting up in there into the outer wrinkles of the butthole, reduces the chance of getting the itchies later.

        (This is particularly of consequence if there is ANY chance whatsoever of ending up naked with another person. You might not notice it, but other people would get hit with a musk the moment your underwear drops, and not the nice kind.)

      • BradleyUffner@lemmy.world
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        3 days ago

        Tell you what. You drop a nice creamy dump on your floor, then try to get it clean with dry toilet paper. Let us know how it goes.

    • ameancow@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      Why are people so confounded by these things? Have y’all never used water to bathe before?

      I feel like some people were never given actual hygiene instructions from their parents growing up. I can only imagine the way some people are so hung up on genitals and waste products that they can’t even think about it, those kinds of people going on to have kids… do we really think they’re going to pass on useful information on self-care?

      And it’s not like there’s tons of social messaging and helpful guides all over the place on proper bathroom habits, it’s purely a passed-down skillset.

      Every time this comes up on reddit, there are a lot of people sharing stories about knowing men who literally don’t wipe their own ass or touch it while showering and just constantly walk around with shit all over their ass. I used to think it was a meme, but then met people in real life who also had encounters with men who thought touching their own ass would “make them gay.”

      So yah, people getting anxious about using a bidet? That tracks. I think a lot of people are at very least, just anxious because they’ve never really been shown anything and might be doubting their own habits. Basically the bathroom and poop and related topics are just this mysterious realm that nobody talks about. Insecurity over our most intimate and private acts is a tradition as old as time itself.

  • set_secret@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    You dab with toilet paper, for the love of all thats good, do not share an ass drying towel with your wife unless you went her to get chronic utis.

  • I_Fart_Glitter@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    I’m sleepy and read that as “Biden voters, how do you dry your ass afterward?” and was very confused. But like… not as confused as I probably should have been.

    • Grass@sh.itjust.works
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      3 days ago

      with the amount of US political shit on here its no surprise really. honestly I had a pretty similar thought as I was scrolling over.

    • Buddahriffic@lemmy.world
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      Yeah, I came into this thread expecting to learn more about some new brain-dead meme the right is using to pwn the left. Then realized it was a normal question I could answer.

  • shortypants@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    Ryobi cordless leaf blower. You have to aim for the rim because if you hit home it makes you burp.

    Actually though, just dab with TP. You’ll use much less TP and not need “flushable” wipes that still clog your main sewage line

  • apfelwoiSchoppen@lemmy.world
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    4 days ago

    Bidet wash first. Then tp to dry and to, well there is no nice way of saying this, check how the bidet wash did its job. Used appropriately, you should use significantly less tp than before.

    • wjrii@lemmy.world
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      4 days ago

      For anyone with a sewer system built for TP, this is an ideal workflow. Poops and poopers are not identical, and bidets are not magical. Trust but verify, friends.

      • JubilantJaguar@lemmy.world
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        4 days ago

        Pet peeve. Whatever three-quarters of the world seems to believe, any sewerage system can handle TP. That is: real TP has almost zero fiber integrity, it literally turns to goop on contact with water. Goop that has no more structural consistency than an average pile of sh*t. If still in any doubt then just make sure to flush it in single sheets, each one will be a pea-sized ball of goop. This misunderstanding seems to be purely cultural. I’ve been to a ton of developing countries, all with the usual dodgy sewerage systems and narrow-bore pipes. Yet only some of them, notably Latin America, have the disgusting cultural norm of TP bins. The rest understand that there is a difference between TP and paper towels designed for the kitchen and your face. TP is always flushable, by design.

        • FuzzyRedPanda@lemm.ee
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          4 days ago

          And generally, baby wipes, bottom wipes and face wipes aren’t safe to flush, even if they say flushable on the package. If they were safe to flush, you wouldn’t be able to pull out a wet sheet from the package; it would be goo.

        • Wahots@pawb.social
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          4 days ago

          I thought it was natural, but it turns out TP is using PFAS so that it disintegrates as much as possible. That was kind of a bummer to learn. :/

    • mad_asshatter@lemmy.world
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      4 days ago

      Realise that you can spray a few minutes before you rise from the seat (especially if someone on lemmy is WRONG, and you need to thumb a reply!)

      You’ll be surprised at how little tp you’ll need!

      Also, you’re allowed to repeat, jic!

      • rah@feddit.uk
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        4 days ago

        especially if someone on lemmy is WRONG, and you need to thumb a reply!

        🤣

    • Sabata@ani.social
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      4 days ago

      Pooping solo, a roll of TP will last me a month or two. A pack of TP will last well over a year.

  • pura@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    I bought a couple sets of washcloths that are only for drying butt. I fold them and lay them on the tank lid, and then put used ones in a little basket/bin beside the toilet. When I run out, I wash them in the laundry room. I haven’t bought toilet paper in 5 years.

  • Ada@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    2 days ago

    As a vulva owner, for me, the big win with the bidet isn’t the butt.

    Either way though, the goal is to get clean with water, instead of a dry piece of paper, and then use either toilet paper or a dedicated towel to dry down the now clean area.

    Just like with a shower. You don’t clean yourself with the towel. You get clean with water, and then dry with a towel

  • isolatedscotch@discuss.tchncs.de
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    4 days ago

    Copying the text from another comment i made here:

    I have a standalone bidet, not the toilet bowl attachment, which is basically a mini sink, and it works like a sink in that you can regulate flowrate and temperature with the handle

    with this kind, you have 100% cleanliness since you use your hand to clean everything, and after it there’s a mini-towel for each person, usually in a towel rack near the bidet so no-one gets confused, and usually in a smaller size then normal towels.

    If you’re worried about the idea of using your hand being unhygienic, rest assured, there’s a radical invention called washing your hands afterwards, which, by the way, you should do anyways even if you use toilet paper.

    • gigachad@sh.itjust.works
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      4 days ago

      Why are people so confused about this comment? I live in a backward society that does not use bidets. However those from the image are the only ones I know from Spain. What is wrong about them? Or is it the hand thing? If yes, what is the alternative? Please, can somebody explain, I am serious.

      • isolatedscotch@discuss.tchncs.de
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        4 days ago

        they probably mean the Japanese style ones where you attach a seat to the toilet bowl, and on e you are done a small tube comes out and shoots water up

        yea I don’t know how those are popular either

        • JackFrostNCola@lemmy.world
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          2 days ago

          I tried the fancy japanese robot toilets when i went there. I thoroughly enjoyed them.

          Heated seats ✅
          Music to cover up sounds ✅
          Deoderiser fan ✅
          Adjustable bidet squirt level from 1-7 ✅
          ‘front bum’ bodet for the ladies ✅
          Heated seat ✅

      • Wahots@pawb.social
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        3 days ago

        Any bidet is better than no bidet. The hand ones are great. But the Japanese ones with zero hand contact minimizes the potential for fecal-oral contact even more, just in case someone doesn’t do a great job washing their hands in a hospital or food service setting.

        Side note, it really irritates me when people take a shit, wet their hands, and leave. Wash your hands with soap and water. It takes 20 seconds.

        If you don’t, you are now slinging potential shit water everywhere.

    • HKPiax@lemmy.world
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      4 days ago

      Every time the bidet thing comes up, people are just DUMBFOUNDED by it. The sentiment is always “you smear shit all over your hands??” lmao.

      No, first thing is you wipe thoroughly, then you use it aiming the faucet tangent to the bumhole, and with liquid soap on your hand, you clean it. Water is constantly flowing above your hand and against your hole, with soap on every contact surface. Afterwards, you wash your hands in the sink like normal.

      Never had my hands smell like shit, never.

    • jqubed@lemmy.world
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      4 days ago

      I saw one like this at a hotel in Austria once and was trying to figure out how to use it. I couldn’t figure out how the water stream was supposed to spray and clean coming out the side like that. Do you almost lay on it, face down or on your back to get it to spray your bum clean?

      It never occurred to me that the spray wouldn’t be used to clean at all.

        • jqubed@lemmy.world
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          4 days ago

          When I was six or eight my parents were looking at houses and one had a bidet in the master suite bathroom, the kind that sprays up from the bottom of the bowl. I legitimately thought it was a water fountain for drinking and excitedly pointed it out to my parents. They did not buy that house.

    • Wahots@pawb.social
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      4 days ago

      This type is pretty good, but for food service workers, hospitals, and retirement homes, I’d prefer the hands-free ones with wide nozzles and oscillating sprayheads. Norovirus is a stupidly contagious GI bug, and for healthcare and food service, I want as little fecal-oral contamination as possible. Hand washing is great, but some people are terrible handwashers, and minimizing the potential vectors as much as possible is always appreciated.

      Toilet paper itself is already pretty unsanitary. I wish all food service places had bidets for this reason alone.

    • BaroqueInMind@lemmy.one
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      4 days ago

      You touch your bare shit covered ass?

      I bought a cheap $30 Chinese bidet that uses water pressure to blast the shit crust off without touching anything or even getting off the toilet seat, then I wipe dry with TP.

      Your setup looks and sounds barbaric.

      • isolatedscotch@discuss.tchncs.de
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        4 days ago

        You touch your bare shit covered ass?

        Yes, absolutely, and then I proceed to wash my hands because I’m not a Neanderthal

        it might look and sound barbaric but it feels amazibg

        • BaroqueInMind@lemmy.one
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          4 days ago

          I’m only kidding about the barbarism; any use of any bidet elevates people above others. You are likely sophisticated, intelligent and attractive for simply removing the chance of “swamp ass” completely out of the equation, regardless of your methods.

          • Bahalex@lemmy.world
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            4 days ago

            I’ve got a menthol minty butt soap. For the small price of washing myself I get a refreshing, lingering blast of arctic freshness on those hot ‘n humid downstairs jungle days. It may still get swampy, but for a few extra moments- it’s glorious.

      • dustyData@lemmy.world
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        People would rather have a filthy body than touch their own bumhole. I don’t get it, it is your own body, what is so icky when you are in the process of cleaning it? Would you rather live with a stinking baby with a dirty diaper, or change the diaper and have a clean space? Same thing, just deal with the thing asap and be done with it. This is why we invented soap. I swear to god this is same people who would scratch their navel then smell their fingers, or would eat earwax, but won’t touch their bums in a shower because it is gay. Guys would decry bidets but then go eat ass and pussy without a hint of self-awareness.

        • Feathercrown@lemmy.world
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          4 days ago

          None of this explains why it’s not cleaner to use toilet paper than your hand after using a bidet…?

          • dustyData@lemmy.world
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            4 days ago

            You don’t use your hand afterwards, you use your hand to wash along with the bidet, then you dry with TP or a towel. It is not demented. It is just washing like how you are supposed to wash when you shower.

          • Bahalex@lemmy.world
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            4 days ago

            Read the comment with instructions man. Wipe with toilet paper first, as normal. Then wash with soap and water. Then dry with a towel. If you’re smearing poop all over everything you’ve got other issues to work out.

            To answer your question, it is cleaner than just using toilet paper because you are wash with soap and water after you use the toilet paper. If you manage to get poop all over the towel when you’re done washing, then TP alone was never going to suffice.

          • stephen01king@lemmy.zip
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            4 days ago

            Because dry spreading your poop with toilet paper is not cleaner than washing your butt together with water.

              • stephen01king@lemmy.zip
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                3 days ago

                Ah, I see, I thought the bidet part only relates to your second option, there. I guess one reason to use your hands is that in some countries, toilet paper is not commonly provided, so it’s not always an option.

      • Sneezycat@sopuli.xyz
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        4 days ago

        What’s demented is guys scratching their crotch and wanting to give me a high five afterwards

  • biofaust@lemmy.world
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    4 days ago

    In Italy, where the bidet is its own “seat”, we use small towels, one for each person. The ones that usually people vacationing in Italy think are for the face, they are actually for your ass. Hard to tell the difference on American tourists sometimes.

  • spicy pancake@lemmy.zip
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    3 days ago

    spot check with 2 squares of tp, when clean use single-use mini towels (I bought a pack of 100% cotton terry cloth squares similar to those used in auto shops)

    the butt/coochie towels go in their own hamper and get laundered separately with the hottest wash setting

    i live alone though. if i ever manage to convince a woman to marry me i imagine modifications may be requested…