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screenshot of r/AskReddit post by u/CriticalGeode . Title only. official phone app. Light mode.
How would you hide the body of a 165 Ib, 78 year-old white male who is approximately 6 feet tall?
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“light mode”
Well done, you have managed to dazzle the blind.
:3
You’re always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it’s no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies’ digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don’t want to go sievin’ through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, “as greedy as a pig”.
Second best monolog in that movie. The Desert Eagle vs Replica scene is still my favorite.
Someone else posted the same comment 4 hours before.
I’m not sure how I didn’t notice that but thanks.
– Snatch
I think getting teeth out of a dead body’s skull would be more difficult and shittier than sifting through the pig shit afterwards.
Sixteen pigs? Farm animals are expensive and so are farms. I don’t doubt pigs are a good way to dispose of a body but if you’re that well off, surely there are even more foolproof methods available.
Someone has never seen Snatch, have they?
Very obvious…You hide the body at the cemetery
Depending on climate and soil type, you will need to dig a 3’wx6’lx3-6d hole. USFS land is great for this. Place nude cadaver in hole and coat with 10-15lbs of lye. Refill hole with excavated soil to approximate level of surrounding area. Disperse excess soil thinly over a wide area. Finally, cover disturbed soil with natural debris from the surrounding area, such as pine needles, leaves, twigs, etc.
I too, want to hide my body. Try wearing some clothes.
Just tow it outside of the environment
Into another environment?
Prop him up beside the jukebox. Fill his boots up with sand, put a stiff drink in his hand… Nobody will even suspect he’s dead!
It would take a couple of weeks but if you go out and vote it could function.
What
I guessed it was about a certain person who’s in the news a lot right now before the american election… I’m potentially totally wrong.
There is absolutely zero likelihood Trump is 165lbs. Try 1.5x that, at the very least.
Also he is not nearly as tall as he claims to be.
Also he is not nearly as ________ as he claims to be.
fill in the blank with anything he’s ever claimed to be
Must’ve mixed up kilos and american freedom units 😅 and similar for height…
The “Weekend at Bernie’s” method seems to be working well enough already.
It worked with Biden for about 3 years before people noticed. (Poor form, I know, but couldn’t resist.)
Depends upon what your are hiding it from.
If the white male is a human and understands your language, maybe you can convince it to hide - in your closet / behind a tree / under a bed / behind some bushes etc.
Move it to heaven or hell.
Wow, Reddit’s gotten really dark since last time I checked
