“We’ve known each other for 3 months. We should get married.”
When I was a dumb kid, me and other dumb kids found some paving tiles and decided to break them by throwing them in the air. Unfortunately, I was really bad at aiming, caught it on my head and caused permanent spinal damage.
The doctor recommended strength training, because my muscles would overtaxed by compensating for my wonky spine, which I promptly ignored because, again, I was a dumb kid and girls don’t lift weights. So from age 10 to 19 ish I basically had debilitating neck pains every few months which had me stuck in bed on painkillers and muscle relaxants.
After 9 years of being an idiot, I started listening to the doctors, lifted weights, and basically never had a sore neck again. The main downside is that clothes shopping is hard now.
I had two friends, Kat and Tim, who were vibing on each other super hard.
Both of them were afraid to make the first move.
One day I got drunk and I saw them kind of flirting and it got the best of me and I just said hey guys, you two are obviously a great match for each other, why don’t y’all go out on a date and see where it goes?
That in itself wasn’t that bad but in my mildly drunk stupor I didn’t think about the fact that we were all standing in front of all of our friends and they were both shy and because of me saying that they immediately distance themselves from one another and never got together.
If I had kept my mouth shut and just let things progress normally they might have ended up together.
Tim’s life really sucks right now and his life would probably be a hell of a lot better if I had just kept my fucking mouth shut.
This hurts to read
There’s definitely a part of me that blames myself for this.
At the same time though I feel like Tim and Kat have to share some of the blame.
We were all late teens early 20s at this point. This was not some 6th grade shenanigans. Being told that the two of you look good together and obviously like each other shouldn’t be the end of the relationship.
I wanted to be a porn star as a teen.
Trying drugs, because my friends looked happier doing drugs than I was by not doing drugs.
On the face of it this sounds perfectly legit. If you take drugs responsibly you’ll be happy for a while.
If you take drugs irresponsibly, you could be happy for the rest of your life.
And then ded
“My hair’s getting a bit long, and my fringe keeps getting in my eyes. It can’t be that hard to give it a little trim, right?” 5 minutes later “…I’m going out for dinner in just over an hour. How quickly can I get to a hairdressers?”
Reaching out to catch the falling hatchet I’d just finished sharpening. 13 stitches…
Reminds me of that story from reddit where op caught a falling microtome blade and suffered from blood poisoning because the nurse messed up his blood types
At least now you know you’ve done a good job sharpening it.
Mid threesome i had an idea for a position to try. Well, that idea got me a penile fracture. 0/10 would not recommend
Jesus fuck
Well, apparently not.
It’s a tie between unprotected sex with a stranger I met at a bar, and sleeping on a bench behind the train station in Barcelona.
Luckily, getting robbed behind the train station was the more serious consequence of my poor life choices.trying to unscrew a stubborn hex standoff with my teeth instead of waiting until I could get my driver
Ask me when I’m trying to sleep.
I tried League of Legends
The fight that helped put my one relationship in limbo.
