Scotland was, oddly, the last country in the UK do get rid of blasphemy laws, so the generation before mine used phrases like -
Jings, crivvens and help ma Boab!
And
In the name o the wee man!
Accusing someone of having too much semen.
It was a thing.
John Adams accused Alexander Hamilton of having such an excess of semen that all the brothels in the city couldn’t help him.
You got too many swimmers bro, I can’t even
It was an insult, too. Different times.
My username.
“I’d challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you’re unarmed.”
~ William Shakespeare, The Taming of the Shrew
“You want my children? Take them! I have the instrument to make more.”
~ Caterina Sforza when blackmailed by kidnappers using her children as leverage (main source: Niccolo Machiavelli)
“We fulfill the demands of nature in a much better way than do you Roman women; for we consort openly with the best men, whereas you let yourselves be debauched in secret by the vilest.”
~ Earliest recorded words of a Scot, third century AD (never change, Scotland).
You can get pretty good results by saying, “Well {verb} my {noun}!” It always ends up sounding quaint. It’s like the mad libs of incredulity
- Well kiss my grits!
- Well steam my hogs!
- Well string my banjo!
- Well iron my shirts!
- Well paint my deck!
- Well trash my patio!
- Well crash my harddrive!
- Well tear my pants!
You get this for “well trash my patio”.
“Ketter” meaning heathen.
My grandfather used it recently: “I used to smoke like a heathen”.
I say “Jesus, Mary, and Joseph” as an exclamation to this day.
That reminds me, I once heard an irritated dad at a kids playground yell “cheese and rice”!
Same.
I have a Day of the Dead (1985) drinking game that includes taking a drink whenever the alcoholic says, “Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.” It’s the only real catch-phrase in the movie, and since he’s usually taking a drink too I don’t feel like I’m drinking alone.
A she bitch of a goat’s gizzard
