When all of your exes get to happily move on in relationships that aren’t you and you get nobody for extended periods of time.
While you’re prideful in yourself to know that whatever relationship you get won’t feel as tainted as theirs because maybe they’re manipulative. The thing about it is that, I’ve tried being upfront, honest, detailed and everything to get someone with.
And I guess working on yourself and trying to improve aren’t exactly attractable qualities.
That I’m part of the group of people who might never own a house, work until I’m 80, and never be able to just work on my dreams until they are reached. Sad thing is that lots of people have it worse. It’s unfair that 99% weren’t born with a golden spoon up their ass and can live on the work of the rest. Shit rolls downhill.
Your post contents themselves deserve a response, but to answer the question: I’ve never bothered thinking life is unfair, I learned this lesson early on as an eldest sibling (and it seems like a lot of other eldest siblings I talk to are slightly more in tune with unfairness than non eldest siblings, but this is anecdotal and I’m not willing to defend this observation)
Life is obviously filled with things that feel fair and unfair, but ultimately fairness is not part of the rules of our reality so there’s no need to determine its presence or abscence.
To speak to your own response, it’s super easy and feels great to imagine those who we feel have wronged us have been suffering ever since we left their lives. Rarely does this ever actually play out that way, nor is it healthy to rely on this line of thinking to find closure, peace, satisfaction, etc. It is more realistic to expect their lives to be fulfilling their goals on some level, and its likely they aren’t miserable at all.
I have no idea what you’re saying after the first section, but there are people out there all along the “is okay with a non ideal partner” scale out there. You can have your flaws and have a partner and a healthy relationship, and anyone worth your time will consider any progress you have already made, even if that’s not always enough to make you the one they want to be with.
I don’t want to make any further statements as this is already too general and assumption heavy, and you do not deserve to be told what to do without an ounce of actual attention to your life. I can guaranteo you’re not alone in the problems you are facing.
I’ve always found riding the waves of life with attention to my goals has worked in a way that leaves me generally satisfied with the process.
Solid nuggets of advice in there
At the moment, it’s that I’ve been awake since 2AM because I can’t shut my brain off about an issue I think might come up later this week at work, that I have no control over, yet can’t help but feel responsible for.
And I would really like to just get some fucking sleep because I’m not being paid to worry about this shit right now.
Dating is hard. 9 out of 10 actual dates are strike outs for a second date. Upping your batting average requires you to be the ideal candidate where you are dating.
Mastery of something has a 90% proficiency requirement. The odds stack up enough against a person to the point that any apathy at all might cause them to fail horribly.
Life isn’t unfair as such. It’s between hard and impossible. You really need everyone on your team to make it all work.
My advice would be to help those that will help you and never short them when it’s your shout. Remember names when you meet people, and don’t get distracted when you should be thinking about their lives. Every little interaction will be the light in your eyes and the magnetics in your charm. Start by lighting up your world and make people resonate when they’re around you. And travel a bit to meet people with added charm
I was born with everything needed to overcome all obstacles in life and it’s never been fair.
And I guess working on yourself and trying to improve aren’t exactly attractable qualities.
My dad always says to me: “If you want to find the right person, be the right person”.
Shitty parents, which causes depression. And depression sucks.
Also my fucking myopic eyesight. Cant see shit if my glasses break. I fucking hate this shit. And Lasik is too terrifying for me to attempt, so this is my life now. 😓
The second one is at least an “easy” fix. I had Lasik a couple of years ago, and don’t get me wrong - it was weird and uncomfortable. But literally took less than 5 min, and they gave me an anti-anxiety pill beforehand.
Capitalism…
I have several mental disorders that partially disable me, making daily life difficult. I can function, but I’m still at a considerable disadvantage compared to everyone else. One in particular is associated with a 20+ year reduction in life expectancy and drastically higher risk of dementia later in life.
I don’t expect life to be fair to begin with. Would be nice if it were but I don’t see a reason to assume that from it.
How it’s unfair to me? I don’t know. I guess I’m a more serious person than most and I think about things deeply. People who don’t take things as seriously as I do probably don’t enjoy my company that much nor do I theirs. I’m not sure how else to explain it. I care about things I invest my time, thought and effort to and I tend to ignore things I don’t care about. Like social games, small talk etc.
I don’t know. People just seem to dislike me more, it seems. That isn’t some kind of pessimism-inspired or self-inspired statement, it’s an actual observation/reflection that notably isn’t one when it comes to the people who make it their position to mediate. I have no issue with the latter, albeit with the former invalidating the latter’s level of respect for me.
Appreciate your luck when you catch a break, but do not expect it. Life is not fair. It never was, nor will it ever be.
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And I guess working on yourself and trying to improve aren’t exactly attractable qualities.
They are if you are successful, but not everyone who works on themselves is successful. Some people are also attracted to problematic people instead of someone who would actually be a good partner.
In my case, I hit a point where I decided that I was picking the bad partners and needed some time to figure out why. By not dating ot hooking up for a couple of years, I became more self aware and ended up attracting way more attention by just being comfortable with myself which led to being a better person because I no longer blamed others or myself. Understanding and changing for the better is better than blaming and not doing anything to change.
That doesn’t mean someone is guaranteed to then suddenly find a partner and get on with relationships. It just increases the odds.