Just 9.99 per month

But don’t you see the benefit - the data on your flushes helps our Trusted_† FlushMe Partners ® provide more relevant service to you, and also helps us partially offset the cost of our running our flush servers, allowing us to provide service to you for only $29.99 monthly_††!

†: All FlushMe partners have undergone creditworthiness checks. ††: Limited time one month introductory offer. FlushMe may, but is not required to, provide you with a personalised monthly price for renewal of the service.

“FlushMe: Have You Shat Today!?”

too many household appliances need an app

Triple Flush Achievement Unlocked! Share with your friends?

Android has this feature of “Work Profile” that allows you to put these shitty apps in a separate profile so they can’t accept any of your data. I mean it’d be better if we don’t have distopian apps to begin with, but here we are…

(I used an app called “Shelter” that sets up a “work profile” and put apps in there and the apps can’t access my photos contacts, or anything basically)

NOOO!!! This is the Torment Nexus of toilets… now some company is going to do this…

Funnily enough, my toilet has it’s own app.(“Japanese style” shower toilet by a German company)

It’s non-cloud, Bluetooth only, all functions work without it,but it tells you when preventative maintenance is due and enables you to configure the user profiles easier.

So there’s that.

Wouldn’t have bought it otherwise.

What a shitty idea.

In an alternate universe where /c/shitpost is a place where users share images of their latest bowel movement.

The first thing to be flushed down that drain would be the plumber.

Funny how this is supposed to be absurd - upside down duck, cake, “bizarro” and all - but it’s actually pretty accurate. So many products out there that require you to download their shitty spyware in order to do the things they are supposed to do.