A Taco Bell finally opened up where I live, and we are going to go try it tonight. What should I try and what should I avoid?
Of course I know I should try another restaurant and avoid Taco Bell, that’s too obvious, but what is life without a little Adventure.
Crunch wrap supreme.
This and the mini Cinnabon balls, holy shit
First two comments is my usual order. I can feel the validation washing over me.
“Taco Testicles”
This, OP. If you’re going to do this to yourself, at least do it right.
deleted by creator
You live at your office?
deleted by creator
Sorry to hear that. I hope you get to sleep next to your wife and dogs soon.
deleted by creator
Given your username, I’d think you’d be partial to the breakfast crunch wrap that comes with a coffee as an option for the drink.
Crunch wrap, sub chicken for beef. I love that thing.
This is the correct answer
Legit, your first thing to try is a taco. One soft, one crunchy. That’s actually the best and simplest food they have. You’ll get an idea if you actually like the way they tend to spice things, and that matters because it’s where most of the flavor comes in. Then try the dorito version. It’s disgusting, but in a good way.
There’s really nothing to outright avoid unless you have a sensitive gut. They don’t have much that’s super spicy, and they mark it clearly. But the grease factor runs very high on all their beef options, so if that’s not something your gut likes, you will be spending some of your next day jogging back and forth to the toilet. Since that grease tends to pick up any spice, the hotter options amplify it.
Being real, Taco Bell doesn’t deserve the hate it gets any more than any other fast food. It ain’t real Mexican, it ain’t real southwestern or texmex either. It just takes “inspiration” from that kind of thing.
Now, back in my younger days, running d&d games with other teenagers and early 20s monkeys, taco bell was the only option late at night for those long sessions. So I ate way more of it than I should have lol.
My personal favorite was the 7 layer burrito. That shit was bomb. But you can mimic it. Order a cheesy bean & rice burrito change it to “fresco”, add three cheese blend, lettuce, guac, plus tomatoes and sour cream. You will be farting! But it is worth it.
Now, the “Mexican pizza” is another classic that they’re famous for. My best friend was super into them, it was all he ever got back in the nineties. It’s not bad. Not great, but not bad either. Kinda just a taco with extra steps, but the way you end up eating it has the ingredients hit your tongue in different ways.
There’s the black bean crunch wrap supreme too. It’s a giant, fart causing calorie bomb, but the black beans really are nice.
I find chalupas and gorditas to be a gimmick that isn’t worth the extra cost over tacos.
One of the surprisingly addictive things they have is the grilled cheese burrito. It’s kinda nuts. 700+ calories. Beef, rice, cheese sauce, sour cream, cheese mix, chipotle sauce, and “fiesta strips”. Now, I have no fucking clue what is in the fiesta strips. Maybe it’s chitlins made from the guts of immigrants, maybe it’s a magic spell, but fuck me running, they make that fucking burrito rock. It is a gut bomb from hell, but it’s worth it.
You kinda gotta try the cinnamon twists too, even though they’re kinda shitty. It’s like the downs syndrome version of a churro.
Thing with Taco Bell though, you gotta get the sauce packets. Mild is mostly pointless tbh. It adds a little zing, but you have to use two packs per taco to really notice it’s there. The hot is probably not going to do your gut any favors, but calling it hot is a bit of a stretch when it comes to spiciness in the mouth. The fire though? You’ll know it’s there even if you just add a little. It’ll make your lips tingle a little. I don’t recommend the Diablo unless you like heat over flavor. If you really like heat, buy a better sauce that tastes good as well. It’ll light you up decently, but that’s really all it brings imo. The other “levels” have decent flavor under their heat.
Their quesadillas are all “okay”. They’re basic, mild flavored, but can fill you up decently. If I go that route, I like little extra sour cream on the side and a generous drizzle of sauce.
Again, don’t expect this to be some kind of 5star dining. It’s cheap, it’s fast, and it’s designed to hit you with enough salt and fats wrapped in some carbs that you’ll feel plenty full. If you want something with nuanced flavors and depth, taco bell ain’t it. But there’s really no other chain food like it.
LOL, OP could not have found a better answer.
/thread
I have never eaten at taco bell before but now I feel like I have. Thank you for this high effort as fuck post.
You should do a food critic video series.
This is the best, most comprehensive review on Taco Bell this planet has ever seen.
OP, listen to this man, he knows his Taco Bell.
Bruh lmao
I chortled at the churros lolol
It’s disgusting, but in a good way.
Accurate
Pretty sure fiesta strips are just tortilla strips?
Taco Bell doesn’t deserve the hate it gets
I knew a health inspector. He commented that guaranteed the cleanest restaurant kitchen in every town was a taco bell. Apparently they aggressively train employees and managers to clean way more than other restaurants.
You didn’t mention the peak of Taco Bell food, the crunch wrap supreme! The breakfast crunch wrap is also very good for what it is.
The “fiesta strips” are just corn chips.
Shhhhh, they’re a party in your mouth.
An amazing comment! Thanks!
I’ve been getting the same three things at Taco Bell for the last 30 years. This has inspired me to branch out.
deleted by creator
Dude, what the hell. I feel sorry for your anus and I didn’t even read what you said.
Marijuana
Probably 90% of their food is the same stuff wrapped up in a different shape, they’re spooning the same meat into the tacos as the burritos as the crunch wrap etc.
So if your goal is to get a full sense of what taco bell has to offer, get a hard taco, a soft taco, a Doritos taco, and a chalupa, mix and match the meats, sauces, and other toppings, and you’ll have a pretty representative sample of most of the menu.
As far as personal recommendations, I like steak chalupas, chicken crunchwraps with chipotle sauce, any variety of their grilled burrito, and their cinnamon twists. Sometimes they have a limited time specialty item that’s pretty good, not sure what they’re pushing now but always worth checking out what they have.
I will also say that if you don’t get a Baja blast you’re doing it wrong
I would add 5 layer burrito to that mix, to really capture diarrhea you get from the unholy combination of ground meat, nacho cheese, and sour cream.
My boyfriend is a Taco Bell fanatic. I asked him and he told me “a grilled cheese burrito, a crunchwrap supreme, and nacho fries if they have them”. Enjoy!
Appreciate the recommendation.
Cheesy Gordita Crunch and Crunchwrap Supreme.
I’m also a fan of the Beefy Five-Layer Burrito positively smothered in Fire sauce.
I’m also a fan of the Beefy Five-Layer Burrito positively smothered in Fire sauce.
I don’t know if it’s everywhere, but the Diablo sauce has a better flavor in my opinion. I am a sucker for the Beefy Five-Layer Burrito though.
5-layer, sub beef for potatoes. So good.
I haven’t been able to find Diablo sauce in the past few years.
Maybe it’s a regional thing? The one closest to me has had it for as long as I can remember. Was actually just there on Tuesday and got some.
Cheesy Gordita Crunch is the correct answer, but probably best to also try basic items just for comparison.
I remember the dark days when the Cheesy Gordita Crunch was a limited time offer and it kept going away and coming back. I would always go A LOT when it showed back up. So glad it seems to be a stable staple now.
Oh! And fwiw - they actually sell the Fiesta sauce in some grocery stores now… that is one of the key ingredients that makes it so good. That sauce goes well on/in so many things.
Yesssssss thissss!!!
Cheesey Gordita Crunch with the Doritos Locos taco inside!
Dunno fam. You might be too old to start eating taco bell. U might die.
Spicy potato soft taco. Small item overshadowed by others, but a solid go to when you want something small. Potatoes, spicy ranch and lettuce in a soft tortilla. Nothing fancy, just tasty.
This has always been my go to. Cheap easy and tasty.
When going to a KFC combo, it’s also fun to get some fried chicken to add into the taco.
First step of being new to Taco Bell:
My favorite thing is the Chicken Baja Gordita, it’s an older menu item that they will still make, love the baja sauce.
Taco Bell is a unique style of crap that’s pretty good. I’d go for the classics: a beef taco and a bean burrito. Maybe a bowl of pinto beans. Everything needs to be covered in the packets of hot sauce. The hot and fire are the only good ones (I’m going by memories from the 90s btw).
Imagine you recommend anything but Diablo sauce. Are you serious? Why would you even go to Taco Bell?
Diablo sauce is gross, though. It’s really no hotter than Fire (and neither is very hot) but it tries to do something smoky and citrusy or some shit, and being Taco Bell, they can’t pull it off. Better to just go with the tomato and vinegar and powdered jalapeno in whichever concentration level they can handle.
I haven’t eaten at Taco Bell in at least 10 years and I don’t think they had Diablo Sauce then.
I’ve never found an acceptable substitute for their nacho cheese sauce (sure it’s probably basically plastic. But it’s plastic I crave) or the chalupa shells. Nothing is close to either of those.
I’m a big quesarito fan, but I’m basically happy with my own of that.
This is the answer. It’s only remarkable if you can’t quickly get tacos anywhere else. It’s kind of its own thing, though and it sort of hits the spot sometimes.
If I actually want Tex-Mex fast food, living in Texas I’d usually take any of the following before Taco Bell:
- Taco Bueno
- Taco Casa
- Taco Cabana
- Rosa’s Cantina
- Taco Delite
There is another taco place in town, but its absolute ass. Tbell was about on parr with a store bought taco kit, and I’m ok with that.
Imodium
Mexican pizza before they take it off the menu again. Also, ask for all of the hot sauces. The workers won’t care.
Their breakfast burritos are good, cheap, and a great value for your money. Use their app, and you can get free stuff regularly, too.
EDIT: I’m talking about their lowest tier breakfast burritos. The higher levels are not worth it.
BRING BACK THE DAMNED FIESTA VEGGIE BURRITO, TACO BELL. YOU HAVE THE INGREDIENTS.
You need to build up tolerance first. Go slow with a simple taco, otherwise you digestion gonna do civil war.