I dunno, I feel like this could have been solved with a pizza party and T-shirts for less money
/s
T-shirt? We only got soggy subs.
Genius, how did they think of that
They tried everything else, first. Then tried everything else, again. Then they got desperate.
What? Better working conditions and pay make employees happy? That just seems… so radical.
But have they considered the tried-and-true methods? Daily happiness meetings, of course! And don’t forget the “anonymous” surveys everyone knows are totally trustworthy. We can even measure happiness with fancy KPIs and build a whole dashboard to discuss at even more meetings! Consultants? Absolutely! Let’s throw a whole workshop extravaganza at this “happiness” problem!
Let’s have a five minute daily meditation and a coupon for coffee! That’ll surely help the drain on morale.
Man, a guaranteed 5 mins of a quiet break and coffee that I don’t have to bring myself sounds kinda nice
the “anonymous” surveys everyone knows are totally trustworthy.
management and HR will swear up and down they are anonymous. Even on web forums… but the reality is you get a really obvious idea of who said what on what teams because management band together to figure out who would have said something based on their attitude, opinions and perspective.
You can and will be singled out by management for saying negative things. Managers will be required to address the criticism… by choosing strategies behind closed doors, perhaps after having a “group discussion” where they report what they want their boss to hear to their boss, and then tell said boss what the plan is to change to address things is later. It will not be a change that affects the leader except to show they did something worthy of a performance bonus or a promotion though.
All results that ask for more pay are basically ignored. They know why the departments with high turnover have high turnover. It’s a decision to keep those workers paid less because there’s no value to paying them more. Usually the highest turnover roles are treated like commodities. Sales person with strong ethics? Fired! Sales person caught doing illegal stuff to get sales? Fired! Sales person who gets away with selling doctors on drugs for unapproved indications? Big bonuses!
The moment the bosses and the owner decided they wanted to get paid more than the workers was the moment any sense of equity vanished.
And when none of that works and people quit, it isn’t because you treated them horribly and it’s your fault, it’s because people just don’t want to work anymore.
You forgot the pizza parties.
This just in: Employees now engaging in Quiet Capitalism.
What can be done about this profit sapping new trend!
Holy shit he cracked the code! This CEO finally found the solution to the mystery of the unhappy workers! CEOs truly are amazingly brilliant, thank god those workers have him to be the cure for their unhappiness. This is such amazing news. I wonder what other problems CEOs will solve for workers next?
Yeah… IKEA’S CEO did that… /s
He needs to sell it to the board. And gets shit if he raises costs without discernible benefits.
But yeah he has a whole company of number crunchers and such to devise a plan.
No. Unions get the job done. 💪
Better pay and working conditions? What a revolutionary idea.
Good job IKEA!
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Now if they could just stop their shady lumber sourcing practices, that’d be great
Or their even shadier tax dodging practices.
This is the way.
🤯
😮
