When I get a match on a dating app, and it’s going well, I often run into the problem of not knowing how to conclude texting for the day. My social battery runs out pretty quickly when texting. Especially when I just met the other person that day. I usually just tell a white lie.
So does anyone maybe have a good line on how to end things casually, for the day? Or is this something you should tell them beforehand? Or is telling a white lie the proper way to go in this scenario?
Please let me know your thoughts on the matter.
In the first few messages try to establish a date, event, some meeting. Then you can just say, going to get my head down and focus on work, project, meeting, travel, looking forward to seeing you tomorrow!
If you don’t have a established next step bur want to cool things off, respond to the last message. Oh, that’s super creative, interesting, lots of think about. Brb I’m going to be away from my phone for a few hours
In the first few messages try to establish a date, event, some meeting.
This has always been my biggest tip. There is zero point in making smalltalk on the app. You aren’t getting accurate versions of each other, you are getting short, premeditated responses. And, if your match is a woman, she is getting dozens of additipnal matches and conversations, you don’t want to become “boring” and forgotten. Just meet in person as soon as you can in 99% of cases.
1000% make the first meeting someplace that you want to be anyway, so if they flake you are not put out.
Seriously? I was always told you text for like two or three days first before going on a date. Oh I could definitely do that. I actually really hate texting XD
Schedule a date for a few days from the first message (usually schedules don’t line up right away anyway), then talk to them frequently until the date. If you lose interest because something weird comes up via text, you can always cancel the date.
Texting stresses me out, but I still rather talk a bit, to get a feel for the other person. If a guy presses for a meet up in the first few sentences, I might just back out and say never mind I’d rather not.
But maybe that’s just me.
The advice isn’t to press for a meeting to creep out the match, just to provide the option early.
I.e. theres a coffee shop I’ve been meaning to try next to Thing, would you like to meet there on DAY and talk about SHARED TOPIC?
If the match defers or says no, that’s fine, but the effort was made to solidify the match
That advice is from the 1950s where there were not that many options and people didn’t want to seem desperate. I like you, but not too much kinda thing.Do that today and you might as well disappear from the face of the earth.Misread your comment, I thought it was the old phone call advice.
Meeting strangers is no big deal, I meet them all the time, just have to walk outside. At the coffee shop there is strangers in line. Talk to them too. Arranging a face-to-face shouldn’t be a big deal, it’s just like cool maybe maybe we’ll sync up
But really in the first few messages? Again, I’m all game. But I don’t want to scare her off or something.
You don’t have to request a dinner date or a movie or something. That might scare her off. Something quick and simple, though, shouldn’t be a problem. “Hey, there’s a Starbucks a few blocks from you, can I buy you a drink [tomorrow, whatever]? We can have a quick chat and see if we click.” Or whatever’s appropriate for your situation. You’re not asking for a prolonged thing, just a brief face-to-face meeting, and if it goes well and you decide to go get lunch or something, fine, but you don’t need to set that expectation up front.
Be honest with them. There is nothing wrong with saying that you need to take a break from the app. You don’t have to go into detail either; a simple, “It’s been great chatting, I need to go do something else for a bit. Would you mind picking this back up later?” should suffice.
And if it doesn’t suffice – i.e., they get offended – then maybe they aren’t what you’re looking for in a relationship. Healthy relationships, even in the beginning, should be based on honesty, openness, and each person willing to give the other their space.
As for how much to talk to them on the app, whether to give out your phone number, or to meet them in person, is completely up to you and them and how you both feel things are moving along. There is no need to pressure yourself or the other person with some preconceived notion of how to do dating. Everyone is different. No two people will interact the same way. Trust your gut and talk to your potential partner about what they are comfortable with doing.
And congrats! Good luck!
“Alright i gotta go do some stuff. I’ll text you tomorrow”
Just don’t respond for 8 hours. They also sleep and do other things. You can pick up where you left off whenever you like.
I have no experience with this, but frankly, in a social situation like this, or in fact, any other, honesty is a good bet. “Start as you mean you go on.” You can do this quite nicely, and if they’re still insensitive that they take it personally and get offended, maybe that’s a good red flag?
Say, “it’s been great talking to you; I have things I need to do now, but I really look forward to talking to you tomorrow!” You can tailor it to how enthusiastic you are, where you are in the relationship, more or less flirty, more or less suggestive. The main thing is to simply be honest - you need to focus on other things, get some sleep, clean the dishes, eat, walk and feed the dog… you have life that needs taking care of away from your phone. And if you really are eager to continue talking tomorrow, saying that can really boost someone’s confidence.
It can be a fast wind down. Especially if you’re at a place in the relationship where you can make a date. “I’ll be done with work and able to focus on you after 5 - TTYT?” Or if you’re unsure about how far you want to take it, leave it open; tell them to text you when they find time.
Honesty is almost always the right answer.
GG, idgaf
GG EZ
unless you’re going to start sending feet pics I’m done for the day
Ask if they prefer an Irish Goodbye or a Midwestern Goodbye.
Mention wanting to save battery life.
“I’m tired. I’ll talk to you tomorrow”
You know anyone for whom this line has worked well? 🤨
In my book, getting to that point without a plan to meet is a failed interaction. No one wants to text all day. It’s the small talk we do to get to the point where we meet people we’re interested in. It’s a tryout to make sure you’re not a weirdo or jackass. So do a little ice breaker, discuss two to three topics, then suggest exchanging phone numbers so you can meet up sometime. No one wants to text for three days straight. They’re waiting for you to ask for their number.
