You know your job is real and matters when you can literally die and they don’t notice for nearly a week.
“No you can’t work from home, how can we tell if you’re actually working or not?”
And the only reason they notice is because they’re about to drag you into HR over ‘time theft’
Wells Fargo allegedly fired over a dozen employees for using mouse jigglers.
I wonder if the check in was disciplinary for insufficient realistic mouse movement.
I did that for 10 months there because they wouldn’t assign me work.
I did that because 2 minute screen lock plus crazy long password requirements made working hell. The alternative was going to be an arduino usb hid device that typed the password when a button was pressed.
Having unrealistic, bad security rules are counterproductive.
2 minute screen lock
Are you fucking kidding me? That’s ridiculous.
My prior job logged everyone (employees and customers alike) out of the portal after 5 min of inactivity, but uploads to the site often took much longer than that, to say nothing of checking things over, so half the support contacts we got were whining about the timeout, and the only thing I had to say to the people complaining was “yeah man, we have the timeout too, and have to use the site on and off all day, year round, not just for three days a year… I totally agree with you, it doesn’t help, but even our dummy data on test accounts is subject to those rules, so I can’t help you…”
Instead, I learned the site inside and out by memory (I built the knowledge bases for everything, as a result) and sent the security team every article I could find about how short timeouts were bad for SaaS security because they make people use less secure passwords and skip mfa.
I’m a little surprised that I’ve never seen bluetooth pressure switches in office chairs to lock workstations when the employee stands up.
Because clearly you need more meddling in your workflow for the sake of security theater.
Pressure plate? Obviously it should be a chair mounted butt plug that locks the screen when removed from anus.
And it gives you electric shocks when you’re unproductive. What is productive or not is judged by an AI that us entirely inadequate for the task, so everybody gets random shocks.
And at some point you start enjoying them.
Or a smartcard based login where you could just remove the card
I was at a company once where they had this. They used a pin for the pc and the smartcard was used everywhere… opening doors to get to the toilet, paying for lunch.
Employees said it was excellent, as you could not really forget it cause corridor separators had badge locks… so you can’t get anywhere without the card. and once you pull it from the key oards built in reader, the pc locked.
I remember surge strips that had infrared sensors to see if there was someone at the desk. Easy way to power off the old CRT monitors and save energy if away.
One job I had also had a 2min lockout. My solution was to let a really long YT video play in fullscreen when I left the laptop. That prevented the lockout.
Thanks to whoever uploaded a 10h loop of the Nyan cat song, you are a hero.
I think passphrases would work great in that case.
“An employee who spoke with KPNX said Prudhomme’s cubicle was on the third floor and away from the main aisle.
The employee, who did not want to be named, said several people had smelled a foul odor but passed it off as faulty plumbing.”
It’s the smell of corporate America.
I have never felt more alone thinking of this for her. Relates too close to home, for me anyway.
I have smelled both sewage and decomposition, and my sense of smell isn’t the best but God damn how do you confuse one for the other? They smell nothing alike!
No, nothing alike, but the employee likely shit and piss themselves and that was the smell. Not sure a corpse is decomposing much in only 4 days, especially in a climate controlled office.
In 4 days there shouldn’t beuch decomposing, but since there was a smell I don’t think it was air cooled.
I also can agree with the other commentor. Decomposing and bad plumbing are a hell of a difference. I have no fucking clue how you can mismatch those two, but I guess the employees havent smelled decomposing before.
Sorry I’m late to the party, but you definitely smell a corpse after 4 days. I used to bag and tag bodies for a while. Just breathe through your mouth.
This is one of the saddest things I have read.
I would be so pissed if I died at work like that. If being a ghost is an option after death I’d haunt the fuck out of the ceo, my boss, and anyone else responsible for whatever fucked system lead to that.
I truly feel bad for that woman. No one should die in a fucking office working for some corrupt fucking company.
My business partner in his previous job went into the office early one day and found one of his coworkers jacking off in his cubicle. Guess he’d been doing it for years, showing up before everyone and jerking it in a different place every time. That company he worked for: Boeing. They were engineers and they developed the predator drones.
None of what you said surprises me.
It offends me (them, not you), but it doesn’t surprise me.
Who better to design military drones than an expert on dropping loads on unsuspecting innocents(and their office supplies)?
I laughed way to hard at this.
Of course the response will be “we need to bring everyone back into the office 24/7 because how else will we certify our employees are alive ?? !” cant wait for Wells Fargo to sue the family for wages paid while deceased plus damages to their property for a corpse being left unattended.
Wonder if they have to pay out to what the coroner determines is the time of death?
Hey she was still at work, she gets the full 4 days!
My boss would find me immediately cuz he requires fantasy football advice
Didn’t the cleaners notice???
They are not allowed to talk to staff
Must’ve passed out from all that work
