Yeah, the phrase is terrible how it is commonly used, just like people who screwed up ‘pulling up by the bootstraps’ to mean try really hard or say ‘?money is the root of all evil’ instead of ‘the love of money…’
Yes, people can be overwhelmed by bad luck, but people can also be dismissive of good luck and both types of people can end up miserable. Life is both things that happen to you AND how you react.
I do not believe the kind of mentality that you can make anything out of any situation with your mindset or things like that, for example that idea that if you are just super positive and hard working life will just give you sunshine and rainbows. Sometimes you are dealt a very bad hand and you can’t win the game. It’s more like the quote “what doesn’t kill you makes you wish it did” However, the quote in post from OP doesn’t imply that you can just wield any circumstance your way. It just says that you only have control over how you react to it, which is true. Example: I got laid off at my job last week. I felt upset and very sad. My instinct reaction is to go retreat in my shell and not do any of my responsibilities because I feel depressed, sad and angry. But that will only give me more shit in the future. Instead I went to my other job, met friends, and tried to find some silver lining and make the best of it.
Yes this quote can be used in a toxic positivity kind of mindset but it’s also almost always in your best interest to make the best out of your situation, even if it’s shitty.
Capitalist copium sold to peasants lol
I don’t know. That kind of advice is usually given by somebody who’s been through it and is on the other side.
It’s like many of the survivors of Auschwitz and the Holocaust in general said that overall the experience gave them a lot more than it took from them.
Of course, we’re only looking at the survivors and not the people who died, but it does kind of say that yes even if things are incredibly bad, if you survive them they can get better.
Quite the opposite. I’ve diagnosed CPTSD, and the only way out of hell, is changing your own perspective. Trying to accept, reframe, rebuild.
It’s pain. It’s slow. It’s hard. It’s the only way.
Did professional help, help in any way other than just saying you have to work with people who have never suffered and go through life not thinking about their consequences?
Cause I don’t want to be like everyone else. I’ve seen them. They disgust me.
Yes, it’s very different to what you’re imagining
I’ve done some. And mine was trying to make me feel some kind of way when that is not, I felt, the point. I didn’t care to be my own blind hype man.
Out of my many therapists I have not found one that doesn’t want me to be either uncaring towards or otherwise unrealistic about my life.What I am imagining is therapy which I have had. They insist on getting the right high from life but mine does not provide that and I don’t need it to. None of us should. I’ve yet to see a therapist offer other than what is the socially acceptable way to be.
I’m sorry to hear that. I did have 2 therapists quit on me, before arriving at the right place. It’s not a one stop shop.
Thanks for the recommendation. A previous partner of mine had CPTSD and I’ve always wished I understood it more.
Thanks for the recommendations
Paying it forward :) Good luck, and be kind to yourself!
The physical sensations of nervousness and excitement aren’t that different; it’s what you think that determines whether it feels good or bad.
The feeling you get when you go to the gym and lift heavy could almost be described as enjoyable in the context of working out, but if you woke up in the middle of the night feeling the same way, you’d probably call an ambulance.
Similarly, if something bad has happened or you’re worried, there’s often a brief moment upon waking when everything feels fine - until you remember the issue, and then it doesn’t.
There’s three examples that illustrate how it’s not the event itself that makes you feel bad, but how you react and think about it.
It’s all bullshit for sure.
But mostly cause people don’t understand that someone while similar is exactly unlike them. No path or options or thoughts for one person will ever work for another.
Life is very random and chaotic and luck based. People can think they can suggest something but it will literally never happen again as it did for them. Each person uniquely weaving their way through. It’s also extremely unfair and that’s just a plain fact that can’t be even argued against.
I find self help books egregious and awful but some people find them comforting and that it helps them feel seen. But no one wants to feel like they will never be truly understood even if it’s an impossibility because we can grab pieces of them and know that.
Life is unfair. You live and then you die and you get a bunch of free time in the middle to do what you can. I’m sorry it had to happen to you, I’m happy that you get a chance to voice that and I hope you feel the same as often as you can.