Years ago I read a reddit thread saying you shouldn’t pursue friendships or relationships at your workplace. Then I again see all over the places over the internet that friendships don’t happen a lot after you become working adult and that they’re struggling make new friends. My question is If you don’t purse friendships, how would those happen?
Want to know about the thoughts of people over here.
Of course you should - make friends with whoever you like! I’ve made friends with colleagues and am still friends with them years after I left.
The only reason I can think of not to is if you or they are loads of drama and you don’t want to bothered by it at work.
People are people wherever you meet them.
The other downside is the situation I’m in. I made friends with a bunch of coworkers, then I got promoted to be their boss. Makes for a very strange power dynamic, where I have to code stitch between boss mode and friend mode.
Plus, I’ve had to fire people who I’ve been friends with for years. That fucking sucks.
Been there. The worst part is how it sours you going forward. I have rarely made friends at work since then, coworkers or employees, because you never know. Missed out on what could have been good friendships, but it also happened again at another job, so hard to say if it was for the better.
You’re spending 40 hours a week with them, why wouldn’t you want to have someone to shoot the shit with, or have a lunch buddy etc?
One of my longest and closest friends was originally a coworker. It’s hard enough making friends as an adult. Don’t limit yourself unnecessarily.
I don’t get why anyone would advise to not make friends. If there is a genuine connection, absolutely make friends. You see these people every week, probably just as much as your own family. It would be a disservice to yourself to not bond with these people. Relationships on the other hand, I’ve seen both happy endings and awkward breakups. I would advise to look for romance elsewhere.
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It unhealthy to seek to establish relationships at work because you or the other person may suddenly be forced to leave. You should have a support network outside of your employer.
That all said, you spend most of your waking hours at work so it’s likely you will form friendships and you should celebrate those and try to shift them outside of the workplace to preserve them if employment statuses suddenly change.
The only actual disadvantage of work friends is that those strong relationships can keep you in a position that isn’t healthy for you and it makes it more difficult to come to the decision to leave for greener pastures.
The only thing I consider verboten is dating at work. Don’t date some from work - never. NEVER.
It’s fine to date someone at work, as long as you don’t care if you stay employed there. All the possible negatives of a work relationship can be mitigated by leaving the job.
If you absolutely need that job, then no, it’s a bad idea.
It may be fine for you - but when you date someone at work, you run the possibility of making it awful for everyone around you.
That’s just “welcome to humans.” People can be awful for all sorts of reasons.
I call it ‘building solidarity’ rather than ‘making friends’. A group of people that don’t like and trust each other are much easier to divide and conquer. But when the communication and trust is there? Then stuff starts to happen.
I think you should, but to a limited degree. It generally makes the work atmosphere better, and it helps pass the time. But be careful about becoming overly invested in those friendships, since one day one of the friends might leave.
This somewhat depends on the work place, though. If there’s room for chitchat without a supervisor being bitchy about socializing on the clock, I don’t see a problem with it.
One caveat is that being on friendly terms is not the same as being friends. Would they be likely to accept an invitation to do something outside of the workplace?
I’ve made friendships that have survived leaving the workplace that I met them and I’m happy that I did it.
I’ve also worked at places where there was nobody that I could really make friends with, so I didn’t pursue any lasting friendship.
I’m not going to go out of my way to make every coworker a friend, but I feel like freezing everyone out limits the number of people with whom you can become friends.
Same, if you like someone you work with being friends is cool. If not that’s fine too. I’ve always had a much better time at jobs where I was friends with a few of my coworkers. Currently I don’t work with anyone I have any interest in knowing personally and it definitely contributes to the job sucking.
Friendships are fine, I don’t know why someone would discourage friendships at work. Relationships aren’t really advisable because a nasty breakup can cause unnecessary problems at work.
You can make friends at the workplace. It’s making relationships at the workplace is tricky waters. You don’t want to break up with someone where you’ll have to see them everyday.
It’s fine to develop relationships at work and move them into “on good terms” territory if that is viable. It’s also fine if it is possible to move those viable work-friendships outside of the work environment to see if they can stand on their own. What is not smart however is to think that work-friendships are real friendships just because “we get along” at work. Most work friendships will drop you like a hot rock if you get fired. It’s important to be ready for that to happen even as you see what friendships might be viable.
I followed the advice to not get close to colleagues for the last 10 years or so and regret it. I did it because I thought it’d make work harder when we disagree and I’m balancing friendship vs professionalism. Realistically, all the people I would have been friends with are mature enough to make it a non-issue.
I have started reaching out to some of my ex-colleagues I got on well with but it’s very difficult to rebuild the relationship without the daily interactions. However, I have a job at the moment because I have reached out to an ex-colleague just to catch up.
I’d say if you meet someone you like, try to make friends. Jobs will come and go but finding good people to surround yourself with gets much harder as you get older.
What do you have to lose by being friends with the people you work with?
They say this because if you expect your friend to stick their neck out for you, you might get let down (or fired).
The difference is that work friends can and should protect their job first, and their friendship with you second.
So feel free to make friends but don’t expect them to behave the same way non-work-friends would.
if a work buddy overhears you tell an off-color joke, they might report you to management if the company has a zero-tolerance policy to protect themselves. they don’t want someone else to report and include them in the list of participants. you’d feel betrayed; how could you tell our boss about the joke I told? because you’re expecting them to do what a friend would, and cover for you. but they are trying to protect their job. that’s why I’d recommend not regarding them as friends, but more like comrades in arms or something.
I recently came back from visiting my old boss. I stayed at his house for a week. (He lives on the coast in Florida; it’s great!) I’ve known him and his family for over ten years, and I consider them my dear friends.
But I still introduce him as the guy who fired me :)
(He objects, because he’s actually the guy who laid me off.)
