Not a parent but I read this and have my personal opinions, curious what others think about it.
The author admits to have let their kids, who are 2yo and 4yo roam free in restaurants to the point they have ended up in the kitchen, that right there tells you how responsible of a parent she is and how good of an approach hers is.
That’s wild lol, I’d be way too embarrassed.
Do people not have the experience of peeking into the restaurant kitchen growing up?
One year I was on an elementary school trip at this restaurant that did a little historical show along with the meal, with a lot of crowd interaction, and I got caught up in acting out my role and went into the kitchen at which point I was immediately told that was off-limits, and I never did it again.
Not the same thing as letting a 2-year-old into a kitchen though. But I definitely explored and learned what was appropriate and what wasn’t as I grew up.
Yes, I did stuff like this when I was a kid, everybody does, but no, I wasn’t actively encouraged to do so, au contraire, my parents always taught me how to behave in public and I’m grateful for it. Kids will become adults one day, if they are never taught how to behave they’ll probably end up being entitled pricks that think they can do whatever they want whenever they want.
I don’t think everybody does anymore. Some parents keep their kids so sheltered now they don’t know how to do anything independently.
I’m, honestly, surprised (and thankful) those kids weren’t kidnapped by now, due to this “parent” refusing to parent.
E: Autocorrect
You watch too many movies
When your little brother’s hand gets snatched by some wanker at a Tesco fruit isle, while your mum is at the fish counter, and tries to take him, you can tell me I’m being irrational. Until then, you have nothing to say.
I honestly think the same, there’s too many weirdos out there.
I hate to sound like an old person with my “people these days rant”, but it’s just people being inconsiderate, and it’s everywhere. People stand in doorways and elevators, make people behind them on the road wait while they turn from the wrong lane, cut in lines, run red lights because they don’t want to wait, etc.
This is simply people being selfish and not wanting to parent, there’s no difference. There are places where kids can run wild and be themselves, but it’s not literally everywhere. Remember that the end goal is to raise not a child, but an empathetic, functioning member of society. So start teaching them early…
I definitely don’t feel like we live in a world where too much respect for others in public has become a problem.
Some of these seem fine, some of them not so fine. Letting kids run around at a restaurant? I’d call that not fine. Other people are paying to be there and they probably don’t want to deal with your kids running around and past their table. The concerns about servers tripping over them are real, even if it’s not actually happening. I suspect the servers would prefer not to have to dodge someone’s kids to prevent that from happening.
The fountain? Not a problem, no one was being inconvenienced there, no one was paying to be there and having their time disrupted. They weren’t creating a dangerous situation.
The barbecue? Not a problem, they were invited, presumably by someone who understands what they’re getting into, and they can be uninvited, or not invited next time if it’s a problem.
Bottom line is, there’s places where it’s appropriate to let your kids run around and be wild, and there’s places where it’s not, and if your kids aren’t capable of not doing it in places where it isn’t appropriate, that’s a problem.
Just look at any public restroom, where the sinks are too high for them to reach
Well, maybe your two-year-old isn’t entitled to low sinks in a public restroom not specifically designed for children (e.g. at a school)? That shit costs money, why would they install low sinks just so kids who amount for a tiny percentage of the users can use them without parental assistance?
My opinion?
I doubt such a person will ever be able to realize public space is not hers and is not there for her to use as she pleases. Public space is, well, public and shared between everybody and as such must be used with consideration to others. What would that incredibly tolerant (towards herself/her kids) lady say if I was to, say, come sit right next to her and loudly fart while she is eating her sandwich?
She can let her kids splash (and fart as loudly and) as much as they/she wants in her own home. Heck, she can even let them burn her house down if she thinks it’s good for them. But what will she say the day her kids get hurt doing some stupid shit like that?
Does she really need a fucking ‘handbook’ to understand the cosmic level of stupidity she’s reaching for? That’s so unbelievably clueless and egoistical. But whats so sad is to realize it’s not even surprising anymore.
I will have one last thought for those poor kids, just imagining the kind of teens and young adults she’s preparing them to be :(
The author’s critical approach to what is ‘polite’ is all well and good, but I have reservations about what she considers the limit.
As for the ‘doing no harm to others’, she must recognize that the harm her children do may not be readily apparent. When I’ve got a massive migrane, I don’t want to hear her kids screaming in the next booth over, but I also don’t want to have to confront her about it and risk her screaming also. Better to sit and suffer until I can’t.
The writer of the article is treating child rearing as if it requires PhD level child psychology. It doesn’t.
A child’s behavior is almost always ok if it is safe, non-destructive, legal, and NOT OFFENSIVE TO OTHER PEOPLE IN THE SAME SPACE. It doesn’t even matter if the other people’s idea of “offensive” seems reasonable or not. If their children are bothering others, a responsible parent will either curb their behavior or take them elsewhere.
The writer apparently doesn’t understand that last part.
Yes it absolutely does matter if other people’s idea of offensive seems reasonable.
If it seems unreasonable my new game for that moment is to see how much I can offend them without breaking any laws.
Letting children run around is fine as long as they are well-behaved.
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What community would be more appropriate? I’m pretty loose with fediverse communities. I’d rather throw more content up even if it’s not the best fit just to give Lemmy more content and this post got a shitton of interaction
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I fart exclusively in elevators and crowded busses. Join me!
Fine, but don’t get mad when I laugh at them tripping and falling.
I might not have a puppy, but I always have skittles (the crack of the candy world)
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I don’t care about kids being unattended by a parent or guardian if they are behaving themselves. Honestly, these days I tend to see more adults behaving like children in public, causing a scene than children who behave like children causing a scene.
I’m more concerned by a small child by itself getting snatched or hurt than because they might annoy me.
I say fuck people like this. And if you are people like this, then fuck you too.
Public space is for public, not just your kids. If you let your kids run wild, then you are sacrificing other people’s freedom.
Also, this is how entitled little bitches are created. Do you want your kid to be an entitled little bitch?
It’s also how kidnappings happen. It’s stupid.
I hate this attitude. “Never let your child out of your sight or they’ll immediately be kidnapped”.
You know they’re more likely to be abused by family than a stranger. By your rationale you should never allow family to see your children either.
When your little brother’s hand gets snatched by some wanker at a Tesco fruit isle, while your mum is at the fish counter, and tries to take him, you can tell me I’m being irrational. Until then, you have nothing to say.
How do you know the wanker wasn’t related to you in some way?
Lol good come back question to a traumatic event recollection. He wasn’t related.
I’m on the fence. It’s a pretty subjective topic no? Public spaces will always have conflict due to many people have many preferences.
I teach kids, and a lesson I have with them is on “context”.
The game of tag, is it good or bad?
Well, on the playground it is good, really fun actually!
But in music class or at the library? It’s really bad.
The game didn’t change, the context did. Same goes with parenting imo. In fact I’d go so far as to say that teaching your kids to be considerate of the spaces they are in is a good thing.
I grew up with my mom telling us to keep our hands behind our back when going into an antique store or to be polite at the dinner table, and I was always invited to dinners and nice places by my friends parents because they knew I’d behave.
Everywhere I go, my kids—I now have two, and they’re 2 and 4 years old—seem to be the wildest kids there.
That means your kids are gonna grow up healthy.
The nation controls its people to the point of bending it into unnatural behavior. In fact, the people are real, the nation is not. We should think about what’s best for the people.
As long as you allow the village to raise them. Expose them openly to the village, the village will react openly.
