This comment section: “Actually I’m pretty sure the bike fell over for reasons unrelated to the stick”
I’ve gotten all of my opinions from twitch streamers, and suddenly I’m miserable!
Jokes on you, I’m miserable even without that
Me too, I didn’t need shitty advice to fuck up everything
Hello, allow me to sell you more reasons why you’re miserable for only USD 9.99, and this amazing course on how you can stop being miserable for only USD 199.99, down from USD 999.99!!
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Believes all Staceys just want Chads
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Become a Chad by getting all roided up and crazy
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Staceys don’t want anything to do with me
SurprisedPikachu.jpg
Reminds me of a post I saw yesterday, of a white supremacist finding out the german catholic descendants in red 'murica don’t share his ass-backwards views of race.
That sounds fun! Please share link if you can find it🙂
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The comments are quite saddening, and also quite worrying.
This isn’t to put women’s issues down, but men have problems too. There’s a reason why young men turn to these grifters and get manipulated by them.
Even above all of that, assuming you don’t agree, it’s a problem. We’re building up generations of uneducated and toxic men led by these role models. We can’t just shrug that off and say it’s not our issue, because at some point it is going to be our issue.
This is a problem that I really feel like gets no attention.
With all the focus on women’s rights, young men feel neglected. And modern feminism does imply that men can’t really talk about issues because that comes from a place of privilege.
This isn’t the only time it happened. Male victims of sexual harassment and assault were pretty much entirely shut out of #MeToo.
So, young men feel marginalized and they will listen to whoever makes sense.
modern feminism does imply that men can’t really talk about issues?
not to be all “source?” but — source?
This statement feels full of selection bias. Let’s assume Angela Davis literally said this, does that mean Judith Butler agrees?
But I imagine it’s more that this was said by a semi-anonymous rage bait account on a social media platform.
That’s not to say such things aren’t hurtful - they are - but in the same way FirstnameBunchOfNumbers on Twitter says stupid shit all the time - eg all unions are all always bad and are literally communism - that doesn’t speak for the entirety of tradespeoples.
I hate to use the phrase, but it’s right there. Are you saying that “not all feminists” are like that?
No.
I’d much rather actually discuss the points raised. I was interested to discuss whether the person I was replying to (might be you - can’t tell on mobile) thought that what they said reflected all feminist thought, and whether that was current, new, or had always been there since Wollstonecraft etc
Do you really want to go into the difference between the “notallmen” epithet and the concept that because someone accuses a group of something does not mean that they are guilty of it nor does it mean that group is a monolith? The conversation seems fairly straightforward and doesn’t really need elaborating on. But I guess if you genuinely did have questions about the difference between “notallmen” and “accusing a group of something they didn’t do” I’d be willing to attempt to answer reasonable questions on the topic.
No, I am not the person you responded to, I just thought it was funny because all I could think of reading your comment was how many parallels it had to the “not all men” saying.
But to be more serious, I don’t think you can point to any individual saying men can’t discuss these topics, but there is a sentiment that has been felt for a long while. Listen to Bo Burnham’s Inside and he jokes about being a white guy trying to be supportive but not really being sure how without coming off as a “white savior.” A couple decades ago Ben Folds expressed frustration at not feeling allowed to express his personal problems to some degree in Rockin the Suburbs, and while that was more aimed at complaining from a place of privilege I think it captures a similar feeling the person you responded to expressed.
I think it’s difficult for a lot of men, especially younger ones, to express that kind of feeling without being (or feeling like they are being) rejected for having those feelings because they are the ones with the privilege. Or they may bottle up those feelings in an unhealthy manner out of guilt for potentially distracting from those with bigger issues. And those can open the door to them rejecting feminism in general so that they can express those feelings. People like Andrew Tate are able to take advantage of that.
I didn’t say men can’t discuss issues, (i wasnt even saying whether they should) I’m saying that for any sensible, reasonable definition of what “modern feminism” is (what does that even mean?), there is no correlation to “men can’t discuss these things,” and no prominent, published authors, scholars or journalists are saying such things - outside of tabloids, looking to score rage clicks.
In my experience it’s the very opposite.
The patriarchy hurts everyone.
Appreciate this.
The patriarchy and gender roles are definitely a big part of why men suffer, and it’s as much of a men’s issue as it is a women’s issue.
That said, I do think it’s debatable on whether or not modern feminism is truly intent on dismantling it from both sides.
Nobody is telling men what to actually do to be a lovable person. Just what not to do.
Woman here. (Sorry, don’t typically announce my gender, but relevant to the comment if someone else reads it.)
Tbh I wish the conversation were more positive. I ain’t no expert cuz I’m struggling with my own advice, but I’d recommend: Try to get a decent job, work on your mental health, take care of yourself, build friendships, try to get in a decent place financially, and maintain a healthy schedule, environment, and diet. Be the kind of person you’d want to date. And treat women like men for the most part. Most people I know in relationships met at work, school, church, dating apps, or through friends / common interests.
But the reason I’m not on the dating market myself is cuz I’m a mess of a human being who doesn’t want to be trapped in a codependent relationship. Dating doesn’t sound appealing at all when I have so many problems I need to work through first. I’ve seen what happens when people try to fix their problems with relationships; it usually results in more problems.
Best of luck. Sorry things are rough.
Best of luck. Sorry things are rough.
Thank you, sorry if I gave off the wrong impression. I actually said it as I was previously in a situation where I was, but I started focusing on myself (taking advice similar to yours) and it actually does help! Previously I was flat out scared of talking to women. I thought even looking at someone could be creepy/harassing.
Turns out just talking to someone and then asking if they’d like to go out for food or something in a respectful manner after a conversation isn’t creepy and actually seems to invoke a positive reaction from them sometimes? Who would have known!
Oh, glad to hear it!
I find it telling that the meme is about men following idiotic “influencers” and so many people here are like “I identify with that man on the bike but my problems are unrelated”
I wouldn’t say identify. Pretty sure many of us don’t follow Andrew Tate or influencers in general. We’re showing empathy for the general situation. Sorry it bothered you.
There’s a reason why young men turn to these grifters and get manipulated by them.
Yes - they’re either idiots or have idiot parents.
All I know about women is that choosey moms choose JIF, which is why I bring a jar of peanut butter on a date with a MILF.
It’s pronounced Gif
For me, the reason it is hard out there is because I am super careful when trying to pick someone up and they end up mistaking my pickup lines for friendly banter and I end up getting friendzoned.
Plus I am super choosy myself and take long to crush on someone and then take super long to get over a crush. (o﹏o)
But I agree that listening to toxic males like Tate will likely not make it easier.
But tbh it always makes it even more difficult to get over them. As I said, I do not crush that easily (like one every three years). And I really value their friendship but I never managed to find someone who is romantically compatible in 24 years (after effectively looking for 10 years).
And then society seems to expect me to make the first move but why should I even try if all I get is a circle of rejection. And all I keep hearing is “you’ll find someone eventually” but the 20s is supposed to be the time you get the most hook ups yet here I am almost halfway through and still no progress in sight.
And I see my mom slowly giving up on me as if I failed them. (I mean, she’s still loving and caring but I can see that it bothers her almost as much as it bothers me) and some of my friends even start to think I am asexual.
And every time I see couples I get so mixed up in my emotions. I am happy for them but also sad because it reminds me how lonely I am. This goes up to the point where I completely shut myself in on Valentine’s just to escape the emotional pain.
And people tell me how “things will get better” but they started telling me in 2018 and things haven’t changed a bit since then. Even worse I think that the competition is gaining experience whilst I just stay on 0 which is even more frustrating.
And I am constantly in conflict with myself if I should lower my standards (which seems impossible to lower them further without ending in a toxic relationship or something I am just not feeling) or just stay single (which doesn’t solve my problem)…
The up side is that apart from that my life is actually quite nice so please don’t worry about me too much I’m still doing fine and I got professional help (which just hasn’t really given me any helpful answers to my problem apart from that things will eventually turn out)…
In fact, I feel conflicted writing this. I don’t want pity (as I said, I am fine apart from what I’ve just explained) but at the same time I really needed to vent
Me, a young man venturing out into the world:
Never saying the wacko stuff championed by Tate and instead just being socially awkward and strangely passionate about FOSS and motorcycles:
Can’t find a girlfriend. Seriously, why is this so hard?
Depends. Speaking from a lot of experience being a socially awkward guy, the following helps:
- Improving fitness and wearing clothes that show it, getting rid of any terrible haircuts.
- Having standards other than appearance and focusing on that from the start. This means rejecting attractive people who aren’t a good personality/etc. fit. Why does this help? It leads to better conversations and less wasted time.
- Attitude of trying to laugh/have fun/be fun. She’s not into FOSS and motorcylces? Ok, don’t keep bringing it up then, instead talk about something you both like (and if you followed the above, there should be something).
One of the reasons it is so hard is that right now is an extremely difficult time for people, so I think meeting people is even more difficult. If you are stressed out about making rent every month, guess what socialization and finding a partner becomes a distant priority vs just surviving.
I promise you though there are plenty of women out there who find social awkward people into niche hobbies sexy, especially if you are a genuinely nice person (which, beyond a superficial impression, is pretty much always the truly sexy thing about a person).
The problem is that those women are sitting at home exhausted and sad from modern life the same way you are, and it is hard to meet people outside the context of a bar.
If you are a nice person you are sexy and enough the way you are, what needs to change is the brutal grind of modern life, not you.
I mean just from a basic freetime calculation… women didn’t use to be able to work, which is fucked up, but it is also fucked up how much everybody’s lives are swallowed up by work at least in the US, and if you compare the difficulty of finding a women to hit it off with vs when women weren’t working as much…. I mean you have to cut yourself slack. The women of your dreams probably isn’t at the bar or wherever public meeting space you are, or actively on the dating app because they are stressed out and working all the time just like you :(
lol as though they’d use the word “woman” in this sentence
FEMOIDS
wait come back femoids why do you run from thee
Man some parts of this thread got weird
Some men are looking for a “hack” that will let them dominate the “meta.” They think life is just like video games. You can see them angrily talking about women while the stream themselves playing games.
The problem is, people (not just women) are generally interested in people that are interesting. Being interesting requires time and effort.
Much easier to be told there is ONE SIMPLE HACK.
Some men are looking for a “hack” that will let them dominate the “meta.” They think life is just like video games. You can see them angrily talking about women while the stream themselves playing games.
most of the guys who say stupid shit like that aren’t saying it because they actually believe it. You’d be amazed at the number of people there are that operate troll farms to muddy the waters on literally every issue you can think of.
I wouldn’t be shocked at all if Tate is one of those people who’s just paid by some corporation or thinktank to say the things he says.
Of course there are plenty of guys that think there’s some trick to it. And those are what we call “too far gone”
Had an older co-worker who kept saying that Andrew Tate had some real gems and that he was just telling young men to give up videogames and hit the gym if they wanted some self worth.
So one day I looked him dead in the eye and gave him my best impersonation of a 1950’s radio voice and said. " Young ladies if you don’t work on refining and improving your womanly figure with clean living and labourous exercise and not stop wasting your time reading novels then how will you ever expect to catch a husband?!"
I would like to say that I scored a point but he just sputtered and went on being horrible.
Andrew Tate is the absolute worst, but it is also a fact - one that has been true for all of recorded history - that competing with each other for female attention is a generally popular male motivation. And when a guy doesn’t do those things, he can expect mockery. Do you have anything nice to say about neckbeards? No? Didn’t think so.
Yeah, men policing other men’s commitment to masculinity, by mocking and putting others down and being violent, is an almost universal thing.
And also a disease. And it shouldn’t exist.
(I’m not implying you’re saying it should. I’m just stating it shouldn’t)
I mean the premise is flawed. The “neckbeards” are not intrinsically unlovable but they are getting duped into being annoying and problematic to people.
When you treat the attention of any kind of people as a status symbol or a commodity to use for bragging rights or prestige for others it’s not exactly fair to the people whom you are essentially using. You see the same principle with famous people. Being in any kind of relationship with someone, even friends, soley because you like what their association does for your image is a jerk thing to do
The people who do the mocking are every bit at fault for being assholes. Only when the person being mocked accepts the assholes premise as true and care about their acceptance do they also become an asshole in turn.
I can’t think of anything nice to say about neckbeards but I can say some lovely things about some guys I know who spend more time playing games than working out
Neckbeards are some of the best Dungeon Masters and I ain’t lying
You’re being downvoted for pointing out human nature. You’re not wrong, we compete for females. We’re animals, even if people want to lie and claim we’ve progressed. We have not.
So i take it if you fancy a new “female” you kill her previous partner in a fight and then her children with that partner, so she will focuse her attention on the children you make with her. If necessary by raping her? Also if there is no nee females available you will rape and make new children with your own daughters?
Because that is what animals do.
Are you trying to use this argument to deny evolution or evolutionary instinct? Cuz your attempted argument makes no sense. Trying to claim humans aren’t driven to procreate is simply contrary to all available information.
Are you not understanding that social and cultural evolution is part of evolution and that there might be good reason why not murdering and rapeing each other like animals do, is an evolutionary advantage?
Social evolution is a wonderful thing, it’s not stronger than your biological imperative though. Maybe one day, but that days not today. The guy is still going to chase the virile woman and the woman is still going to seek comfort and safety.
“Nature” doesn’t have any rigid set of rules that push us to be anything specific, in fact it’s very much the opposite resulting in evolution and adaptation that is constantly interfering with the traits getting passed down. Sure we have biological mechanisms resulting from this that will reward us for things that tend to increase the population over time, because individuals that didn’t were unlikely to reproduce, but even those aren’t consistent from individual to individual, and are regularly suppressed and regulated in response to changing environments as would be seen in nature. Nature is constantly and relentlessly progressing, it’s just slow on a human timescale.
Science and nature are not forcing you or anyone to be misogynistic, that’s just the excuse many have decided to use so they don’t have to confront themselves or the complicated societal issues behind it.
Nature has one general rule…procreate.
That’s why you’re here. Me too.
And it isnt? But for other reasons. A lot of times I found women not sharing the same interests I have. And there is a extremely hard competition. For me its like the job rat race. I will not compete, take your “piece of meat”, your “trophy” and enjoy it. Not misunderstand me, I just not dispute with anyone for a job a women or really anything else thats the trap of life.
Me, a young man venturing out into the world:
Never saying the wacko stuff championed by Tate and instead just being socially awkward and strangely passionate about FOSS and motorcycles:
Can’t find a girlfriend. Seriously, why is this so hard?
I’m not a Rogan meathead, but women are absolutely super choosey these days. Dating apps have given women an inflated sense of their own (dating) worth, and they largely want tall, handsome, well-off, slightly older men.
Of course I’m painting with a broad brush here, but this post is talking in generalities anyway.
Filters out superficial woman quite efficiently.
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It’s nice of you to display your red flags so obviously
Apparently my red flags are being too short. But let’s keep pretending that women are saints 🙏🏽
I’m not a Rogan meathead, but women are absolutely super choosey these days. Dating apps have given women an inflated sense of their own (dating) worth, and they largely want tall, handsome, well-off, slightly older men.
If this is happening even a little bit it is because of the distorting forces of capitalism and addictive phone apps are warping peoples interactions on dating apps.
I promise you, if you are genuinely a pretty nice human being who tries to be a good person there are plenty of women out there who want to fuck you. Really, the world is full of horny women who get hot and bothered by realizing that cute man they just met is also really sweet and kind. You don’t need fit any particular idea of a man, I understand it feels like you do and that is an awful feeling but it is a feeling not the reality.
Also women are probably more choosey because they are by large exhausted from work places that grind them down, trying to make rent, healthcare bullshit and any number of other struggles of modern life, just like you. They want to make sure that use their vanishing amount of free time, energy and money pursuing somebody that isn’t going to be a dead end.
If you want the quickest route to more men finding women who are interested in them, then support unionization, the social safety net, workers rights, and progressive legislation on housing. We need to take better care of people so that they have more free time, energy and money to pursue love and sex.
Joe Rogan says women are too choosey? I need proof before I use a meme as my source of information.
the solution is simple. Just be yourself.
Show the same respect you want from others and be friendly. But if you don’t get that respect back, it’s probably smart to disengage with whoever is being mean to you.
Get a dog and take walks through areas where lots of people will be. Statistics have shown that when a guy has a friendly and cute dog with him and he starts chatting up a woman, he’s much more likely to get her number and get a date.
And another pro tip! dating app profile pictures should have at least one picture of you with your dog.
and on dating apps, practice good typing etiquette.
