Amateurs. Never put a date on your rapture predictions. Just say it is happening soon.
Thank god there is no ninth of hexadecember, so no worries.
My favorite month in the dual-year. Junetobuary.
It’s almost 9pm where I am and there’s no sign of it. Jesus better hurry his ass up if he wants to be on time.
Maybe everyone around you is a filthy sinner.
Maybe that’s been the joke for centuries. The rapture happened but nobody made the cut. Seems consistent with the Bible.
We are living in the apocalypse, but nobody told us
In hindsight, there may have been signs…
Maybe they’re the filthy sinner and got left behind
Oh if the rapture people’s idea of god is the right one, I’m definitely not getting into heaven. But that’s ok, heaven would be full of people I’d never want to hang out with anyway.
19th here, I think I got left behind.
It’s happening on the 9th of 18th month, we’ve still got some time.
But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only.
Matthew 24:36.
RTFM, noob.
Does this imply that the rapture won’t happen on any day any man or angel predicted it, and suggest that these crackpots are either delivering a “no rapture today” message from the Lord Almighty or else embarrassing Her into putting it off?
Reginald, The Fingerless Mittens!
Hi guys, its the 19th here in Australia already and I can confirm that I have been Left Behind to suffer heck on earth for being a sinner and Im super over it already.
You sure everybody got raptured and you’re not just in Australia?
Nah mate, that’s just fuckin Thursdy.
Aw fuckin’ hell!
ahhh cheer up mate, its friday tomorow, fuckin pissup day!
Mate, Im doing cashies for a bloke all long weekend, 6am starts, Im bloody spewing. Reckon he’ll sling me a block of piss though, so she’ll be right.
Party time!
Everyone is dead. Everyone except us.
Jesus better fucking come I’ve been jerking him off for like 20 minutes
Jesus, King of the Edging!
I MISSED IT!?
It’s true. I’m getting raptured right n
Well, well, well. Look who became a gentile and got themselves raptured.
Okay, you got me, I’m still stuck here with all of you heretics
Don’t mix my apostate ass with those heretics
so nobody can know the date of the rapture, and if someone figures it out god’ll change it?
what if I make a website that just says “the rapture will be [current date +1]”
checkmate?
Not again
Afraid so. Hope you enjoy the great snatch.
sigh - Days without thinking about her: 0
the lady in the red dress?
Phenomenal snatch.
(snatch is a euphemism for vagina)
The rapture is when we all get vacuumed back up into Eve’s vagina, so it works.
From snatch you came, and to snatch you shall return.
Good thing I tried pegging for the first time tonight then! Ticked that one off the bucket list just in time!
Congrats on the pegging, happy for you.
nonsense, there are only 12 months
Still the 18th here. Anyone know where I can buy some inflatable sex dolls and helium at this hour?
Why helium?
To inflate the sex dolls… He prefers doing chicks when they’re high.
Maybe so the sex doll will go to heaven too
Oh I get it. He knows because he’s a depraved perv he isn’t getting raptured so he’s gonna fill it with helium, hold on as it rises, then enter heaven with a sex doll and fuck it silly in front of St Peter while cumming with a high pitched moan.
Good plan, actually.
So they float, of course.
This is an old internet joke.
Sorry, gonna have to miss the rapture, I have DnD this weekend.
Can we go ahead and get the rapture over with so the rest of us can get some peace and god damn quiet?
We should sell tickets.
