anything but the metric system
What energy drink is shaped like that?? Maybe the diameter is similar, but no way it’s the size of a whole can.
Maybe those five hour energy and similar shots? That’s all I can come up with though.
“Size of a nice rice ball” would have been more appropriate. Maybe if you tried flattening a 5 hour?
Texans do not know what a riceball is.
The American localization of Pokemon in the 1990s calling onigiri (triangular riceballs) doughnuts has become one of the most infamous in-jokes in Anime.
Well, that’s funny, since I am a Texan. 🤷
Well “energy” is a bit of a stretch but… (I’ll let YouTube thumbnails take it from here)
inb4”silence brand”
Ok, ok, maybe… Thank you for this. Good call.
I like these, but places near me don’t seem to sell them. Well, my local gas station used to, but they were always hidden in the back and expired which is gross as fuck.
I don’t know I’ve never removed the pelt off one
We talking red bull or Rockstar?
Neither are ovoid shaped, right? I just don’t understand.
Those small cans you get on the plane? But why the ‘energy’? Probably to shitpost IMO.
They look exactly golfball-sized, wtf. This is the default measurement unit for hail!
Those are some big golf balls you play with. Maybe racquetballs?
Yeah this in between golf ball and baseball.
It’s a good thing they included the coin for scale otherwise we might have just assumed this person had Trump sized hands (another completely valid and totally real unit of measure, the greatest unit of all time actually)
I’m ngl, this was so hard to read. Why does english have 2 meanings for can?
Also, why should we hail the size of energy drink cans?
I’ll tell you a secret. I’ve never had an energy drink in my life so I don’t even know it’s size.
Imagine a language invented by a drunken german who thought french sounded nice. That’s english in a nutshell
Three. Depending on where you are in the U.S., a toilet is also a “can”. It’s more of a slang meaning, but if you ever hear an American saying they’re “going to go hit the can,” it means they’re going to use the bathroom.
Also pelts can mean fur or yeet
Can you do the can can whilst canning peas and drinking a can of monster all whilst on the can?
The first line took a while to read. First try I got what could be written as:
“Sizes of energy drink can pelts, we salute you”
I mean “drink can pelts” is a weird way to say aluminum
“energy-drink-can-sized hail…” is how I would have written it. Or, y’know, used numbers like a sane person.
Well, I mean it’s less weird to write “golf ball-sized hail” bcause it’s a rather common way to describe the size of hail. Energy drink cans are cylindrical, so it doesn’t make immediate sense in anyone’s brain in the sentence as a comparison. I’m guessing the author couldn’t think of a common enough spherical item of the right size to compare with. Still, I think hyphens would have immediately fixed the strangeness, like the person below you commented.
Or commas, and better grammar, would have done wonders, too.
“Hail, the size of energy drink can[s], pelt[ed] Texas […]”
Sports equipment and fruit are the common comparison for spherical objects.
“Grape sized hail” is quick and easy. “Softball sized” gives the proper “holy shit that’s huge” reaction.
I like the spherical references. I don’t know why he wouldn’t stick with balls.
How to actually read this:
Hail the size of energy. (Meaning ‘Glory to the size of energy’)
Drink can pelts Texas while possible tornado injuries US Border Patrol agent.
“possible tornado” hurt someone?
What?
Well, you can have a funnel cloud, but it’s not a tornado until the condensation funnel touches the ground, and it’s not always clear what the case is until proper surveying is done.
Funny, I’ve never seen an energy drink come in a can that small.
Low key convinced this started out as “monster hail” and then got butchered by an AI or like 5 Google translate passes
Inb4 euros still being mad about “they’ll use anything but metric!”
Yeah, ok, well only babies drink energy drinks that small.
In other news, several border patrol agents seen chasing tornado with tasers drawn.
based tornado
Hail the size of Pillsbury Toaster Strudel
quick! pour some Gatorade on the crops so it grows better
