A patient I dealt with had schizophrenia and dementia, “but I’m a man, not a little girl with panties” was his counterargument to everything.

You can only have one cigarette at a time because otherwise you lose them all and run out. “But I’m a man.”

You know the doctor says your food needs to be cut up. “Do I look like a little girl to you?”

That’s the communal cheese bowl, this is your plate. You can’t eat from the communal cheese bowl with a fork. “Do you see me wearing panties?”

Whenever I hear people making these kind of gender essentialist arguments, they just sound pitiably out of touch with reality to me.

I’m stumped at the simple task of trying to imagine what does imply to “feel like a man”.

I’ve always thought the least manly quality you can have is caring about how manly you are.

Just waiting for the day when someone can explain to me what makes a man a man without describing skills, qualities, and actions that anyone can do regardless of gender.

And don’t tell me it’s “have a penis”, because if that were true then effeminate men wouldn’t be insulted all the time for not being “real” men, and there wouldn’t be toxic masculinity.

From somebody named “geekandmisandry”.

Is this a real thing? I don’t believe I’ve ever encountered this. I suspect they’re actually being demeaning to men in general, or men who don’t fit their idea of masculinity. I’ve encountered people like that. Though the opposite is more common (men, and women, demeaning women who don’t fit their idea of what a woman should be like, or just demeaning women in general).

That’s the perfect answer, IMHO.

More in general, it’s not up to others to change the way they act to feed somebody else’s self-delusions of having some kind of quality they do not have.

I’ve actually had to deal with something somewhat parallel to this when I moved from The Netherlands (whose people are known for being blunt) to Britain (were everything is sugarcoated and people are evasive, the higher the social class the worst it gets) and then proceeded to go around unknowingly insulting just about every insecure person I met in that place by giving them my blunt opinion on what they cared about, without evasiveness or sugarcoating.

The balance I found was to stop giving my opinion unless asked and if asked by somebody who didn’t know my ways yet, give them a notice (“I used to live in The Netherlands so just point out ways in which things can be improved, but that doesn’t mean I think they’re bad”) and then proceed to give them my blunt opinion.

Just don’t cast shit on a man that’s had enough of it from his work or society. Sometimes we just want to feel human.

When first reading “a man likes to feel like a man”, i thought it was about trans men

I need to feel like a man. I need someone to hold me tight for a moment.

This whole “like a man” thing sounds to me like an extension of the toxic cultural BS where “men” are not just humans with emotions and needs like every other human. It reeks of men who are too scared or ignorant to be self-aware and figure out what life really means to them, and thus they need the people around them (especially the partners) to play along in their power/masculinity fantasy.

What a man needs is to realize he’s just another human, and that for humans happiness and fulfillment can ultimately only come from within. Relationships with others are crucial, and you might even need some medication to get your brain chemistry unfucked, but neither of those are independently going to make you happy with yourself and “feel like a man.”

“A man” can refer to roughly half the adult population. It’s not exactly an exclusive club. Why not leave gender out if it and try to be “a good person” and see where that gets you?

Having the people around you walking on eggshells to keep your manly ego intact, whether it’s out of fear or pity, is the exact opposite of what a good person should strive for. What if the people around you instead trust you, feel safe with you, laugh with you, and are better off with you in their lives?

Source: Am man. Went through some stuff. Figured some things out. Made some things better. Have wife and child who enjoy life.

I’ve never heard anyone say that phrase, is it possible that people use that expression to mean “a man likes to feel like a man… not a machine”? Ie he has thoughts, emotions, and priorities. He is not a commodity, his worth is more than just profit he can produce.

Not that women don’t also have those attributes, just that “man” is being used as an outdated shorthand for humanity.

But maybe you could still pretend I am a strong man every once in a while anyway? As a treat?
no… oh… okay…

A wife would know exactly what it means and how to do this.

As a biological male and someone who identifies as a man, it’s pretty weak, IMO, to need someone else to make you feel a particular way.

Are you in control of your feelings, or do you constantly need someone else to reinforce, or induce a feeling in you?

Personally, I’m in control of my feelings, and bluntly, nobody else has control over me. Neither for how I feel, or what I think/do; with the only exception to what I do being governed in part by legality. Eg. If I know a thing isn’t legal to do, then I won’t do that thing. Beyond the rule of law, I do, think, say, and feel, whatever, and however I want.

To me, having that much control over my own self is what makes me a person living in a free country. Anyone who does not have the ability, like I do, to think, feel, do, and love, whomever and, whatever they want, is someone who I want to support in gaining that right.