The problem is, everyone THINKS that they’re the woman in this meme.
True, in reality everyone in the ghoul. Dating does become harder the older you get. When you’re 18 and you date an 18 year old, both have very little life and dating experience. You basically mix water with water. When you’re 35, you’re vinegar and even if you like your date, she might be oil and you just don’t mix. You have to compromise, which only gets harder and harder.
It’s not harder, objectively.
It’s just that people’s expectations aren’t realistic. And nobody is more bitter than average folks who think they are the top 1% of the dating pool, which is what the average person thinks. So many people in the dating pool make like 50k/yr and think you should be a millionaire to date them.
I’ve met so many women who are complete average looking, average income, etc. who think they DESERVE Don Draper and anything less is ‘below them’. They’d rather be alone with their fantasy TV boyfriend then be in a real relationship with a person who is their equal with whom they can build a good life.
I’m a medium successful dude, and when I go out dating all I seem to encounter women who are worse than me in pretty much every metric who dunk on me for not being the top 1% man of their dreams. Like I can run a half marathon, no problem, but these ladies who can’t even run a mile will dunk on me for not being in the Olympics. I have more wealth than 80% of other americans, and to most women I meet, I am ‘poor’.
and if you go check out ‘female dating advice’ on social media… 99% of it reflects this crazy unrealistic attitude and it’s SUPER popular.
The attitude of assuming all women you meet are inferior to you (and they’re the ones who have too-high standards?) can also make your dating life miserable, just saying
I’m not assuming anything. I’m reporting how people behave. If I meet someone who is a middle class job and they are telling me I’m a ‘POS loser’ for not driving car that is worth more than their annual salary, the issue isn’t me. I think my Subaru is pretty dope.
Just go on any dating tiktok or dating advice community. You will find tons and tons of people with these attitudes.
Date leftists? Like, actual leftists. I know, it’s a small pool in America, but you’d be surprised what’s out there if you join the right community.
You’re going after people who buy into the capitalist heirarchy and being surprised it’s all just shallow self-delusions. Idk, just seems self defeating.
A good chunk of the people I’m talking about identify as leftists.
Your political ideals also have nothing to do with your personal expectations and habits in relationships. Plenty of ‘leftist’ women I have met 100% expect traditional gender roles and aspire to be SAHM. And a lot of leftists I knew in my 20s are now hardcore right wingers now.
Hell half my liberal/leftie graduate school cohort is now support Trump/Republicans.
I think your definition of leftist and mine are quite different.
sorry, is there a test i can perform on people to know if they are ‘true leftist’?
if not, you should create a ‘leftist testing kit’ like they have for covid so i can bring it on dates and swab them and know in 15 minutes if they are a leftist or not!
As a general rule, not believing in capitalism and income based heirarchy is a good start.
I know a 30yo woman that I am interested in, and is 40mins away. The problem is she is not interested. She likes guys that are 20yo and live long distance(other countries), and they all end disastrously. I am just her 34yo friend.
They do? Oh… oh, I might need therapy.
Four suitors? What is she, a billionaire?!
I worked for one of the major dating sites about a decade ago. Let me assure you, that people act like debased hyperhormonal chimps in heat when they think nobody is watching. Oh, and by the way - someone is ALWAYS watching.
If you’re a male who has some combination of a steady job, are remotely reliable, not drug or booze addled, have most of your teeth and hair and can tell a joke and hold a conversation - you’re golden. It is UTTERLY unfair to ladies, but just being able to hold that low bar will get you much farther than you might think.
It’s a strange dilemma - for a dating site to suceed, you have to protect the women. From the guys’ perspective, it’s shouting into the void, on the off chance you might EVER stand out enough to get a reply a week. From a woman’s perspective, it’s like the ozone layer protecting a constant bombardment of radiation and lethal rocks from space. A cornucopia of typically BAD CHOICES that manage to slip through the various cracks that the sites/apps put up to protect them.
But - the women ARE the site. If you have the WOMEN, then the men would follow you buck naked through the flaming tar pits of hell to get to them. But - the average male is a monosyllabic goblin with skeletons in his closet and bad intentions much more often than you’d think. It’s why Bumble tried female-only communication initiation. The women on dating sites have an invisible shield tbey don’t even realize exists around them to prevent bots, unsolicited dick pics, one word messages, repeat-offense harassers, and wide-net-casting quagmires who have more deeply held mysoginstic beliefs than they do good pick up lines.
I think the joke and hold a good conversation are where I run into problems.
I can’t keep jobs because of my agoraphobia, and anxiety. I was thinking of volunteering at the library, but transportation sucks in my city, and I don’t drive. I have mental rumination, and depression, while I also suck at keeping a good conversation. I do a lot of sucking, but not the good kind, except when I have a bowl of noodles.
That there is already a good self deprecating joke. Don’t sell yourself short. Unless you ARE short, then may I recommend entering the priesthood
Surely they can’t start browsing DMs?
Anything not advertised as E2EE can be assumed to have some 3rd party able to look at the conversation, malicious or not.
Of course. How do you investigate harassment and identify site-killing lunatics without keyword searching.
It’s all stored and anyone who needs to see stuff their site hosts can get it. Plus - you’d be surprised how much criminal activity people are willing to discuss with strangers.
No. No it does not.
No kidding. I’m apparently the only person who has ever had an amicable divorce where we just realized we weren’t compatible and never felt the need to bash each other. The post-divorce crowd can be pretty dire. They should mandate a certain number of therapy sessions before you can sign up for a dating app.
I don’t think the divorce part isthe point of the meme…
Yes but the post title is what I was responding to.
Dude, I hear that loud and f-ing clear. I’m also someone who left a marriage without any real hate toward my ex. We were chill during the marriage and afterward. No cheating; no drama.
So when I re-entered the dating world a decade after I had previously been in it, I did not expect the amount of bitter dudes I’ve since come across. If your profile starts with you saying you won’t tolerate a woman who does ______., I’m more concerned about how damaged you are from your previous relationship than I am about whether or not we would be a good match.
I had one too. My ex and I are on great terms. It makes for some fun moments when we can joke about our divorce and make people uncomfortable.
what i don’t get is why people married people they knew were awful people, or awful for them.
anytime someone lies, cheats, or steals from me (or shows any disrespect, like verbal/physical abuse) i dump their ass.
Yes. It does 🤣
There, now things are balanced again.
No. They aren’t!
What’s the movie? I really identify with corpse #3
Poltergeist
The bigger problem is everyone has kids already. But by 45 or so you can start looking for people with adult kids.
nobody has kids at that age in the urban coastal cities. i’m 40 i’ve never dated or met a single mother.
They must all be in the midwest…
I had my first kid at 40, which was on the later side but not at all unusual.
I came from a more rural area and occasionally here about people my age back there being grandparents already and just have to shake my head at those choices. It just doesn’t happen here
I speedran adulthood and while on one hand I wish I had waited, on the other I’ll be in my mid 40s with an empty nest which is pretty sweet if you ask me
yeah i grew up rural and by mid twenties all my HS peers were married w/ kids or doing drugs/prison. I was in graduate school on the other side of the country at 25 and marriage kids was a decade away in my mind.
least to i haven’t been back there since i was 19 years old and never kept any HS friends.
After 35 is the first wave of divorces?
Dude most people I know don’t start thinking about marriage or kids before 30
I feel this in my core. Dating in your 30s is like dating at max difficulty
I find it much easier!
- People are less shy
- They have more experience
- They know better what they are looking for
- Their fantasy marriage/life has been renounced
- People are much more chill about sex matters
- Their romantic histories are quite telling
- Most people have their own place
- Careers are mostly stable
/
Cons
- Much smaller dating pool
- Many have kids already
- More difficult to make friends/meet people in general
speak for yourself. i have found dating as a 30+ adult to be way more dramatic and miserable than it was in my 20s.
nobody in my 20s was having a temper tantrum at dinner because the restaurant isn’t expensive enough for their ‘brand’.
This sounds like one very specific date
nah it’s multiple dates. it’s also a common attitude that men need to ‘impress’ dates by spending a lot at restaurants otherwise they ‘devalue’ a woman. asking someone out on a cheap date to get to know them isn’t the point… the point is to win them over by spending money on them.
basically a lot of people see dating as prostitution with extra steps. and wonder why they are single.
Dude, I’ve been on many, many dates in my 30s. I have never experienced this in the least and I am a frugle date. I recommend reevaluating your “type” of women if this is a recurring thing.
Try dating someone who is mentally in their 30s too.
- Many have kids already
Why is that a con?
It introduces more factors to consider. One, the kids will be involved in the relationship, so that’s more people that have to get along well. Two, they take up time, energy, and resources that could otherwise go to the relationship. Three, the parents are more anchored to their current life, so things like going on vacation or moving become much more complex and expensive. Four, the person will almost certainly have to maintain a relationship with their ex/other parent of the children. Five, if you yourself want to have kids, they may not be willing to do so anymore.
I acknowledge that having kids has its benefits too though. It’s not all bad.
Valid reasons.
Ahhh they are inextricably linked to a previous partner and you’re expected to become a parental figure if the relationship goes anywhere serious.
Some people (like me) really don’t want an instant family.
I take my hat off to those who don’t have kids but date parents; they are better people than I.
I wouldn’t mind doing it, but I would have to know the partner really well and feel confident that it would be a stable relationship. I remember having a hard time as a kid when I lost my aunt because her and my uncle had a nasty divorce where she went no contact.
Pros of dating a parent:
- You can see how they treat those that are vulnerable and dependent on them
- They’re typically more stable, conscientious, and responsible
- Good parents know that they have to model healthy behavior, so they practice those
- You already know what you are getting with the kids, so it’s not a surprise
- The kids inadvertently tell on the parent if the parent is misrepresenting themselves up front
- Can do family activities that would normally be considered odd for only adults to partake
- The many benefits of being a parent
- If there’s shared custody, you regularly get time off from being a parent
Getting older, with an established career makes spontaneity harder as it is. Add kids to the mix and it’s pretty much impossible.
I … don’t want that. I like making last minutes plans, 1-2 week long trips, etc. The most limiting factor for me is dropping off my cat at one of my many friends/family members that can watch it (and I reciprocate with their pets).
If I’m going to date it’s going to be with someone with a compatible lifestyle.
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Why?
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The skeletons have a French accent
This is where I have massive respect for gay guys who just use Sniffies for outright hookups and sometimes don’t even bother to learn the other guy’s name. Listening to drag queen podcasts has taught me a lot, and that a sex life can be pretty straightforward for gay guys.
I do not recognise the bodies in the water!!
No, wait, I do actually, that’s Steve, he died last week, I wonder how he got a movie part after that. Lucky.
Oh, and there is Shelly, looking sexy as ever.… oh shit.
As a 35+ would you rather be with someone who’s had bad experiences in relationships, or no experience in relationships?
Depends how many bad experiences. If all your relationships were a bad experience, then there is a good chance you were the reason for that
Very true
I’d rather be content by myself.
Is there a third option?
See above I guess lol
I wish I didn’t know this first hand
What happened?
They removed the headstones but left the bodies!
I’m just waiting til I get to the retirement home in about 35 years, they’re like huge orgies.
Orgies and Lan parties all day
Aww man, that sounds so awesome! Hopefully weed will be legal by then in the UK too.
is this poltergeist lolll
I believe so. If so, those are real skeletons
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Poltergeist. The creatures in The Descent are distinctly different.
