• kreskin@lemmy.world
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    7 days ago

    “When you first move into a house dont make any improvements for at least 6 months.”

    I now see that its Terrible advice.

  • weeeeum@lemmy.world
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    8 days ago

    My grandpa told me “always call your boss sir, and respond “yes sir”, youll be promoted real quick.”

    First day at my first job my boss tells me “by the way you don’t need to call me sir, just Brian”

    Its actually insane that the world that boomers lived in was that simple.

    • Tar_Alcaran@sh.itjust.works
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      8 days ago

      Dutch has a formal and informal 2nd person word (think “you” vs “thou”).

      I have an intern who will not stop using the formal version, and it feels super awkward. I keep telling her to stop it, but she said she always uses with older people…

      She’s 23, I’m mid 30s. Ouch.

      • RamblingPanda@lemmynsfw.com
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        At least she doesn’t help you cross the street. Yet.

        “Is your lunch soft enough? Should I cut it up for you? We have a blender back in the kitchen if you want?”

      • Gieselbrecht@feddit.org
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        7 days ago

        Do you mean je vs u? Could you tell me more about which would be appopriate in settings like a police control, a shop or a campsite? I’m learning dutch but still trying to grasp those things :)

        • Tar_Alcaran@sh.itjust.works
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          Welcome to dutch, where there are more exceptions than rules, and the natives just ignore the rules anyway!

          In general, “Je” is by far the most common form. Children use “u” with adult strangers, adults are generally only expected to use it with people in authority positions, but that’s becoming more and more rare. It’s still polite to use “u” with strangers, but nobody will be very upset if you don’t, unless you’re addressing a judge, mayor or your boss’s boss.

          Some people address their grandparents formally, but most don’t. It’s still considered polite to use it with much older people, like 30+ years older, but hardly will be upset if you don’t.

          Quite a few companies require customer-facing jobs always use “u”, to be respectful, but even that is getting less. My city sends me letters with “jij” nowadays.

        • dfyx@lemmy.helios42.de
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          7 days ago

          German here, we have the same thing (du vs. sie). Our rules may be slightly different than dutch but probably similar enough.

          Police: definitely formal unless the officer is someone you know privately.

          Shop: usually formal though some hobby-related shops (think GameStop or board games) might prefer informal.

          Campsite: probably informal

          As a general rule of thumb: informal is used with first names, formal is used with last names. Think about which name you would use in English and go with that. If in doubt, use the formal version or ask.

          • Gieselbrecht@feddit.org
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            7 days ago

            Thanks, I’m a German native speaker myself - I tend to use je vs u in Dutch similar to the German du und Sie, but as the other replies indicate that seems to be a bit too formal in Dutch :)

    • Wahots@pawb.social
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      8 days ago

      Unless you are in the military or a sex dungeon, I wouldn’t use “sir” these days. It’s a bit odd in everyday life as culture has changed, haha.

    • friendlymessage@feddit.org
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      That advice could also be harmful to your career. Being subservient like that will make sure that your boss will never see you as an equal as e.g. a potential successor

    • Usernameblankface@lemmy.worldOP
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      Yeah, that doesn’t work well anymore. Gotta be a noisy dedicated worker, and be willing to move jobs a few times to start seeing the rewards

      • kreskin@lemmy.world
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        7 days ago

        rewards mostly come from job hopping. Raises at every place I’ve worked arent callibrated to inflation, so your 4% raise that the boss thinks is so great is closer to 0-1%/

  • hperrin@lemmy.ca
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    Something along the lines of “don’t ever go to bed angry at each other.” Like, yeah, you should try to work it out, but if you fucked up real bad, don’t push it. Sleep on the couch.

    • WindyRebel@lemmy.world
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      7 days ago

      Alternatively, sometimes a good night’s sleep is good for everyone to clear heads and calmly tackle their issues the next day with fresh perspectives.

    • Ananääs@sopuli.xyz
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      Besides couch is superior to bed, those nights when I can’t get sleep in the bed the couch provides. Couch best. Even the cushions are for some reason nicer than pillows. Should definitely consider moving to the livingroom.

    • ryathal@sh.itjust.works
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      This works as long as you apply some level of thought to it. Digging a ditch with a spoon is hard work, it’s unlikely to help you get anywhere.

    • weeeeum@lemmy.world
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      7 days ago

      Depends. For someone else? Maybe not. On yourself? Definitely.

      Work hard studying and exercising. Self improvement I’d important, and its not related to job opportunities, but rather mastering the art of living.

  • Vanth@reddthat.com
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    8 days ago

    Ages like milk…

    Drink a full glass of milk at every meal. Otherwise, your bones will turn to pudding and you’ll get kidnapped at the mall because you’ll be too soft to put up a fight. Or whatever scare scenarios Big Milk pushed in the US in the 80s and 90s.

    Now everyone’s drinking nut and oat milk because of health reasons and also drinking the milk of another mammal is kinda weird.

    • Clent@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      Because drinking “milk” from nuts and oats isn’t weird?

      People have been drinking animal milk for thousands of years so the weird ones are those pretending some heavily processed industry process isn’t weird.

      • friendlymessage@feddit.org
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        7 days ago

        heavily processed

        Always great to put that into arguments. It doesn’t really mean anything but it sounds dubious.

      • Vanth@reddthat.com
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        7 days ago

        “Milk” from nuts and oats is just a word. Call it oat juice, oat extract, make up a new word and call it oat zligbab. The actual thing being drunk is not far from the realm of things we already drink and eat. Getting hung up on it being called “milk” is a superficial and disingenuous argument against it.

        If you want to compare the extremes of industrialized processes, are you familiar with commercial dairy farming?

        • dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works
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          Cats will do it? Or you mean no other animal goes to get it? Because livestock will deffo grab a boob even if it’s not mom’s.

          But it’s not industrialized by other mammals would be absolutely true.

          • Captain Aggravated@sh.itjust.works
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            Cats will drink cow’s milk, and then shit catastrophically everywhere within nine feet of the sand box except in the sand box. Kittens drink mama cat’s milk, then when weaned no more milk ever.

            Little snake eyed bean toed fluff cheeked lactose intolerating quadrupeds.

            • MonkeMischief@lemmy.today
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              6 days ago

              This is the most hilariously written PSA against the whole “cats and a saucer of milk” trope holy crap LOL.

              I don’t know where that nonsense started but it’s definitely not beneficial to the

              Little snake eyed bean toed fluff cheeked lactose intolerating quadrupeds.

              • Captain Aggravated@sh.itjust.works
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                6 days ago

                My cat loves mozzarella cheese. It’s the one human food she begs for. She’ll turn up amd wait around while I’m making chicken soup because she knows she’ll get a morsel or two of boiled chicken, but she won’t cry at me. She cries for mozzarella when I’m making a pizza.

                If she gets her snout around any cheese I’ll be washing the ceiling.

      • Kecessa@sh.itjust.works
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        Nut milk is just nuts and water, you can make it yourself super easy.

        Drinking the milk of another mammal after you were weaned is freaking weird and unique to humans and unnecessary and bad for the environment and isn’t done by a significant portion of the world’s population.

        • Trainguyrom@reddthat.com
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          The ability to digest animal milk is literally a genetic mutation that was useful enough to have spread to about 40% of the world’s population. Milk is an amazing source of nutrients and before food was as secure as it is now it was a lifeline during long winters.

          You can talk as moral as you like about your personal preferences but the genetic record clearly indicates that our ancestors needed animal milk to survive. And in today’s society with pasteurization making cow milk safe even in the midst of a H5N1 epidemic in cows it continues to be an amazing source of nutrients, giving a near complete baseline of nutrients for an individual’s diet. There’s a reason schools push kids to drink milk every day and it’s not just the dairy lobby

          • Kecessa@sh.itjust.works
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            Your said so yourself, the genetic adaptation is present in a minority of the population and these days it’s not necessary in the vast majority of the world since the nutrients can easily be found elsewhere.

            Yes, the reason why it’s pushed in schools is very much the dairy lobby. When Health Canada created the most recent food guide they got rid of the industry’s influence and instead focused on science… Well, dairy is pretty much gone, they only say small quantities of low fat dairy can be part of healthy eating habits.

            https://food-guide.canada.ca/en/

            Guess who was pissed? The dairy industry because it needs the publicity and getting removed showed Canadians that we were just fooled by marketers.

            How does the majority of humans manage to survive without drinking it in school? 😱 Wake up, you’ve been had by a billions dollars multinational industry.

            • Trainguyrom@reddthat.com
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              the genetic adaptation is present in a minority of the population

              Yes a minority of the world population, but it is present in a majority of the American population (about 70%)

              How does the majority of humans manage to survive without drinking it in school?

              My point about the schools is that kids often have craptastic diets, be that due to poor parenting or just kids being picky eaters, and milk rounds out the diet and fills in the gaps since it’s such a great source of nutrients

              Wake up, you’ve been had by a billions dollars multinational industry

              Bro I just think milk and dairy tastes good (plus it’s full of good nutrients and pretty dang healthy) and you’re being weird about pushing your personal preferences on others while making vague moral judgments.

              • Kecessa@sh.itjust.works
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                Americans aren’t exceptional, we’re on an international platform, the world doesn’t revolve around your fat ass (which, by the way, isn’t helped by dairy, especially milk).

                Kids would be better served by getting fed a variety of food that wouldn’t include dairy.

                The Canadian food guide doesn’t include dairy because it’s not as healthy as the industry pretends and it gets induced in the US guide because of lobbies, not because of Science.

        • NotSteve_@lemmy.ca
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          8 days ago

          I love milk but I do agree with you. Whenever I actually stop to think about it, the concept of milk is pretty damn weird. I feel the same way about eggs

            • NotSteve_@lemmy.ca
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              I’m not against veganism and I’d probably be at least a vegetarian if lab grown meat was more widely available. I have celiac though so my food options are already limited so I don’t want to limit them further

          • Kecessa@sh.itjust.works
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            Stupid take is stupid

            One is necessary to stay healthy and/or alive, the other is something the majority of us don’t drink and no other mammal continues drinking even though they all drink it after birth

        • Atomic@sh.itjust.works
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          You know what also isn’t done by a significant part of the world? Eating insects. But im not gonna go and call their eating habbits weird just because it’s not something I grew up with.

          It’s called being tolerant and accepting of others culture.

  • sbv@sh.itjust.works
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    7 days ago

    Find what you love, and then figure out how to make money on it.

    It worked for me, but not my spouse. Sometimes you just need to find something you’re happy enough doing to make the income.

    • friendlymessage@feddit.org
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      Yeah, finding a career that is acceptable and pays enough to afford the lifestyle you crave is a balance. Usually that advice comes from people who love doing something that is coincidentally also highly paid.

      Also, loving something and being actually good enough at it to make a career out of it are also two different things

    • weeeeum@lemmy.world
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      Depends what part of the process you like. Some people like to be very meticulous in their hobbies, and somewhat of a perfectionist. That rarely exists in a professional environment, where everything is based on getting projects out the door, on schedule and on budget.

      I actually like banging out projects quickly, so the professional life of my hobby suits me well (woodworking). I love pounding out big mortises with a sledgehammer, planing big boards and watch chips go flying. I hate fiddling with joinery and slowly fitting them for 10 minutes (slowly learning how to do them faster). For other people, joinery is their favorite part.

  • Pyrin@kbin.melroy.org
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    Any dumb and vaguely open-ended advice. Like “just be yourself”.

    What if you’re improving yourself because the real you sucked? Do you just give that all up and return to what you were? Whoever first said that piece of advice, obviously didn’t think it through enough.

    • pixelscript@lemm.ee
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      “Just be yourself” always feels like non-advice when it appears as an answer to a question like, “What should I do?” That’s because it’s secretly negative advice. As in, it doesn’t tell you what you should do, it only tells you what you shouldn’t do. It’s code for, “Don’t pretend to be something you aren’t”. Don’t pretend, don’t lie, don’t put on a facade you can’t keep up.

      Technically good advice, yes. But it’s the equivalent of being behind the controls of a plane you don’t know how to fly and the pilot is incapacitated, and your question of “How the hell do I fly this thing?” being met with, “Well, for starters, don’t jerk the stick and flip the plane over.” Wowee gee, thanks for the tip.

    • Usernameblankface@lemmy.worldOP
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      It can be a great compliment when someone knows you well enough to see that you’re overthinking things. Too many times it’s just thrown around without thinking it through and that ruins it for everyone

    • Ananääs@sopuli.xyz
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      Yeah thanks * adult * for the advice, why don’t you try AuDHD and see what you think of it - or rather what others think of you when you just * be yourself *

    • yetiftw@lemmy.world
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      just because you were that person doesn’t mean you are now. the advice still holds

    • MonkeMischief@lemmy.today
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      “In a negotiation about wearing black vs. brown shoes, compromise is wearing two different colored shoes. Nobody gets what they want and one of you ends up looking like an idiot.”

      Paraphrased from memory from a book called “Never Split the Difference: Negotiate as if Your Life Depends on it”

      • Call me Lenny/Leni@lemm.ee
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        The first one.

        People forget that it implies you’re merely a good model or reference point for how you should treat others, and that it doesn’t work when it comes to subjective interests or interactions where what you’re doing regarding someone else is circumstantial.

        The “rules for thee but not for me” mindset should be avoided, but circumstances should not be ignored. The other day, I was asked “you don’t like being banned for being violent, why would you ban someone else for being violent” and it’s just messy.

        • WoodScientist@lemmy.world
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          7 days ago

          Luigi Mangione treated Brian Robert Thompson exactly how Brian Robert Thompson treated others. Treat others the way you want to be treated, lest others treat you the way you treat others. Luigi Mangione judged Brian Robert Thompson according to the Golden Rule. Right or wrong, Luigi Mangione’s actions were a direct and terrifying application of the Golden Rule.

          Brian Robert Thompson murdered approximately 40 human beings every single day. And for that, he became a victim of murder himself. The Golden Rule put him in his grave.

          • Call me Lenny/Leni@lemm.ee
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            Luigi: “I don’t want to be killed, so I won’t kill anyone.”

            Also Luigi: kills someone

            That’s not the golden rule. And where is it established either of them murdered forty humans everyday?

            • WoodScientist@lemmy.world
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              Approximately 68,000 Americans die from health insurance denials of medically necessary care every year. United Healthcare’s share of that comes to about 40 people per day. And yes, it’s the company killing those people, not the CEO directly. But Brian Robert Thompson gleefully gloated and took credit for the huge profits that resulted from UHC’s industry-leading rates of care denial. If he can take credit for the profits that resulted from those deaths, it is entirely reasonable to place the moral culpability for those deaths on his head. Did he ever kill someone with his own two hands? No. But neither did Osama Bin Ladin (at least on 9/11.)

              And Luigi certainly acted according to the Golden Rule, you’re just not seeing it from his perspective. His version of the Golden Rule was, “if I ever kill thousands of innocent people, feel free to kill me.” And if, in some bizarro world, Luigi somehow ends up with the blood of thousands on his hands, then by the Golden Rule someone would be justified taking him out as well.

              You don’t have to agree with Luigi to understand his motives. From his perspective, his and Thompson’s situation were entirely different. Luigi killed one man, Brian Robert Thompson killed thousands. From his perspective, Luigi killed as an act of righteous vengeance against the wicked, while Thompson killed for profit. And if we judged him according to the Golden Rule, someone would be justified in killing Luigi if he ever killed thousands in the name of profit.

              • Call me Lenny/Leni@lemm.ee
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                If his motives were genuine, which I say like that because his act has been called into question, his version of the golden rule wouldn’t be the golden rule though as much as it is classic mutual exchange, and even that would be generous to say, not just because of the fact that Healthcare, both in its public and privatized forms (with all forms having their respective issues, since they’re all made to equalize people), is a contract, everything being implied in the beginning and established to work how it does for each client (challenging the assertion it’s the scam people make it out to be, especially as it abides by the law which in our age is hard on scams), but also because he had a whole list of targets as a part of the evidence against him, with the one victim being a minor cog in his own machine, however ethically questionable he or UnitedHealth have been, going to show how premature and generalized the sympathy is towards him.