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Sjmarf@sh.itjust.works to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 11 months ago

Toot toot

sh.itjust.works

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Toot toot

sh.itjust.works

Sjmarf@sh.itjust.works to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 11 months ago
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  • etchinghillside@reddthat.com
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    11 months ago

    You unlock legendary at 4 toots.

    • Eager Eagle@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      Only 0.04% of employees have this

      • callouscomic@lemm.ee
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        11 months ago

        Is there a strategy guide online for this trophy?

        • variants@possumpat.io
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          11 months ago

          gotta kiss a lot of ass to get that promotion

      • Furbag@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        Holy shit, I’m putting this one on my Steam LinkedIn showcase!

    • MehBlah@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      The forth one is always a shart.

      • The Assman@sh.itjust.works
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        11 months ago

        Maybe for you, rookie

      • Malfeasant@lemm.ee
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        11 months ago

        You say that like it’s a bad thing…

      • milicent_bystandr@lemm.ee
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        11 months ago

        Sally forth!

  • NoForwardslashS@sopuli.xyz
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    11 months ago

    The story doesn’t make sense. He only ever does two, three would be ridiculous.

    • explodicle@sh.itjust.works
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      11 months ago

      I read this in Captain Holt’s voice

  • AeonFelis@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    • lobut@lemmy.ca
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      11 months ago

      RDJ really has some big boots to fill.

      • agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works
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        11 months ago

        RDJ really has some big boots toots to fill.

        Ftfy

  • GluWu@lemm.ee
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    11 months ago

    While at your desk make direct and sustained eye contact in silence. Once you know you have him gently say “poop poop” then violently shit yourself. Everything is about shitting, except shitting. Shitting is about power.

    • Midnight Wolf@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      this whole thread, I’m crying

    • tetris11@lemmy.ml
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      11 months ago

      I’m not sure you’d win. This is a man with decades of Pavlovian training, who can literally fart on command given the right keyword. It’s a pretty wild gamble to assume that “poop poop” is not in his repertoire.

      • ivanafterall ☑️@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        The moment you hear that third Saiyan “POOOOP” and realize you’ve woefully miscalculated.

      • sfxrlz@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        Are you sure it’s not the other way around? Maybe he just says toot toot to be sure it’s not a turd arriving…

      • buddascrayon@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        I’m pretty sure the oncoming fart triggers the “toot toot”, not the phrase triggering a fart. However you may be correct about the pavlovian aspect.

    • Glitterbomb@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      Heres what you do - go to the bank today, get $50 in pennies…

    • asudox@programming.dev
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      11 months ago

      Dominance is the key

  • salvaria@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    11 months ago

    Wasn’t someone saying “toot toot” and farting a part of Ned’s Declassified School Survival Guide? Lol

    • iamericandre@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      Memory unlocked

      Edit: Timmy toot toot https://ned.fandom.com/wiki/Otherwise_if_there's_no_administrators_(including_myself)_are_active_in_dealing_with_it,_you_can_also_make_a_report_on_the_SOAP_Wiki_but_don't_message_members_of_SOAP_in_here._As_always,_we're_still_here_and_it's_in_my_watch,_and_here's_a_list_of_pages_t

      • LeFrog@discuss.tchncs.de
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        11 months ago

        What the fuck

      • Bahnd Rollard@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        Holy URLs Batman!

      • kyle@lemm.ee
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        11 months ago

        What is up with that title

        • Ricky Rigatoni@lemm.ee
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          11 months ago

          Don’t worry about it. Just don’t message soap members. Ok?

    • NelDel@lemmy.one
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      11 months ago

      That show holds up so well I swear to god

    • Vespair@lemm.ee
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      11 months ago

      And just like that my suspension of disbelief in this story is shattered. I hope you’re happy.

  • RandomStickman@fedia.io
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    11 months ago

    It’s impacting my morale and performance

    I can’t think of a funnier sentence if I tried

  • AFK BRB Chocolate@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    I had a female employee come to me to complain years ago. She had had a disagreement with an older male employee (thankfully not mine) some weeks prior, and since then, every time he walked by her cube, he’d pause at her doorway, fart, and then keep walking without saying anything.

    She at least was aware of how absolutely ridiculous it was, but legitimately didn’t think it was something she should have to deal with. One of the stranger management issues.

    • DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social
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      Pretty textbook workplace harassment but I’m not sure how you’d prove it. Tape him with a clearly displayed fart face? Be sure to label one of stills with a red circle and a line saying “fart face”

      • AFK BRB Chocolate@lemmy.world
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        She wasn’t interested in suing, she just wanted him to stop farting in her doorway. I didn’t know the guy, so I started by talking to his manager, who talked to the guy. Sounds like he initially tried to deny it, but in a way that made it clear he was doing it on purpose. His boss was pretty clear that it wouldn’t be tolerated and it never happened again.

        Some people are so weird and petty.

    • Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works
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      I don’t know which one was right or wrong, but my god… that’s legendary level, hilarious passive aggression.

    • mryessir@lemmy.sdf.org
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      He may have felt (edit: finally) comfortable around her . . .

  • Agent641@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    We dont talk about the mythical fourth toot.

    • tetris11@lemmy.ml
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      Japan is still recovering from the last two

    • ikidd@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      There’s blood in that one.

  • caboose2006@lemmy.ca
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    11 months ago

    I literally laughed so hard I cried.

    • coaxil@lemm.ee
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      11 months ago

      I laughed so hard I legit farted.

      • tetris11@lemmy.ml
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        11 months ago

        I chuckled softly and did a mild burp.

      • Jano@sopuli.xyz
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        11 months ago

        I didn’t laugh, but I shat myself to compensate.

  • Eczpurt@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    Straight up Beetlejuiced a nasty fart into existence.

    • Jerkface@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      It was, in fact, showtime.

  • halvar@lemm.ee
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    toot. toot. toot. TOOOOOT

    and that’s how the universe got created kids

    • Aurenkin@sh.itjust.works
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      11 months ago

      And on the fourth toot, God evacuated the heaven and the earth.

  • navordar@lemmy.ml
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    11 months ago

    I learned to dab while sneezing back when the meme wasn’t dead yet. I got so used to it, that I do that to this day. At least my palms are clean

    • BigPotato@lemmy.world
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      I learned to sneeze like that long before dabbing was a thing and it wasn’t until someone commented that I just dabbed on them that it connected those dots.

      Regardless, I still sneeze in my elbow.

    • EnderMB@lemmy.world
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      Haha, I thought I was the only one!

      I started doing it to annoy my wife, but now I still do it, and it’s taking considerable concentration to not dab when I sneeze.

  • i_stole_ur_taco@lemmy.ca
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    I had a manager once who had 3 small kids and he rarely caught himself when he excused himself from a meeting to “go potty”.

    • volvoxvsmarla @lemm.ee
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      For real man, kids make you… forget how to behave in public. I have to relearn that I cannot fart out loud in public after three years at home. I’m not even sure I can poop without someone next to me anymore. Not sure how I’m gonna find a job.

  • buddascrayon@lemmy.world
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    “he only ever does two, don’t be ridiculous”

    This is the most British response to a situation like this you could possibly get.

  • Malfeasant@lemm.ee
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    Fight fire with fire.

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