• Tartas1995@discuss.tchncs.de
    1288·
    1 month ago

    “traveling” yikes.

    That is one way to say, you think wealth is attractive.

    I have traveled quite a bit and I like it a lot, but it is no hobby. For it to be a hobby, I would have to have a lot more money.

    Once or even twice a year, is hardly a hobby.

        • saigot@lemmy.ca
          12·
          1 month ago

          It’s unclear what countries this poll includes, having minimum paid leave is the law in most of the world. There’s also quite a few careers that involve forced time off.

        • IMNOTCRAZYINSTITUTION@lemmy.world
          8·
          1 month ago

          If you live at home or are technically homeless it doesn’t really matter. If you can save up a bit and have a charismatic personality you can go far, especially if you’re willing to pick up shitty temporary jobs in places where you go. I had a friend who would do this all the time and periodically return home to work at a reliable job while living with a friend, save up more, then fly off to somewhere for a few months.

    • Piemanding@sh.itjust.works
      10·
      1 month ago

      I remember listening to some pop song and realizing that it was basically “You love me 'cause I’m rich”. Do you like trashing hotel rooms, going places you have never been? I don’t remember what song it was or the exact lyrics, but I just hated the guy then and there.

      • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
        8·
        1 month ago

        Depends.

        If they flaunt it with their fancy cars and designer clothes, I think they’re gross.

        If they look like a hobo but are highly educated about finances… Aaaaay bay bee how you doin? Wink at me, you economist with a 401K who ties her hair up because she hasn’t showered in days because she was doing data science. Spit in my mouth, you engineer with a diverse stock portfolio who wears the same hoodie you wore in college because clothes shopping is hard and you want to focus on optimizing your CI pipelines. Choke me, you tenured professor with a mature retirement fund who dedicated their life building physics engines to teach grad students.

        • Kusimulkku@lemm.ee
          11·
          1 month ago

          I wasn’t saying it’s like that for everyone but rather in a generalized way being wealthy seems to be a factor in making someone seem more attractive.

    • Tar_Alcaran@sh.itjust.works
      5·
      1 month ago

      I love being in other countries and meeting new people and learning about their culture. But I fucking haaaaate traveling.

    • merc@sh.itjust.works
      4·
      1 month ago

      A lot of these hobbies are wealth-adjacent.

      Playing an instrument: a good instrument isn’t cheap, and music lessons can be pretty expensive.

      Woodworking requires a lot of fairly expensive tools, and a space to do it. You can’t really have woodworking as a hobby if you live in a small studio apartment. You basically need a house, either one with a basement, a shed or a garage.

      Gardening: requires a garden, something you’re unlikely to have unless you have your own house.

      Photography: I don’t know anybody who is into photography who hasn’t sunk a lot of money into the hobby. There’s the cameras, the lenses, and even the software these days.

      Astronomy: see above.

      Hiking: not expensive on its own, but in North America it means being able to drive to a wilderness spot outside the city, so you pretty much require your own car.

      Archery and blacksmithing: again, requires a specialized space

      Now, I know that there are cheap options for a lot of these. A musician could be someone drumming on an upside-down pail. Someone who only has access to a hotplate could still experiment with food. Woodworking could be just whittling sticks found in the park. Gardening could just be tending to a small houseplant. But, are these the version of the hobbies the women are picturing when they’re imagining a potential mate doing the activity? Probably not.

      Meanwhile, a lot of the stuff at the bottom of the list are very cheap hobbies. Like being influenced by the “Manosphere” just requires access to social media, same with porn and “arguing online”.

      Honestly, it looks to me like if you sorted the list by “dollars per hour someone invested in that hobby is likely to spend” you’d get many of the same things at the top and many of the same ones at the bottom. Some of the few exceptions are writing and reading, which can be pretty cheap hobbies, but are still apparently very attractive.

      • Asafum@feddit.nl
        1·
        1 month ago

        For astronomy (really astrophotography, which is considered even more expensive) I guess it depends on what you consider expensive. For $500 and with 3 free software products I’m able to produce stuff like this:

        A rather large telescope (8" dobsonian reflector) I have as well was “only” $500. So it can be a hobby that you don’t need to spend all that much on, but again that depends on what we consider expensive. $500 is definitely not cheap but I’m just a schmuck in a factory and I could save for that.

        • merc@sh.itjust.works
          2·
          1 month ago

          I’m sure you know other people spending thousands on their gear. Anyhow, many of these hobbies can be done relatively cheaply, but I imagine the woman picturing the man doing it as someone who wasn’t going the ultra-cheap route.

          Nice picture btw. How far do you have to travel to get somewhere where there’s a low enough level of light pollution that you can take a picture like that?

          • Asafum@feddit.nl
            1·
            1 month ago

            Thanks! I’m lucky enough to live in a bortle 4 zone so that was taken right outside my house, it’s just processed a bit to pull out the colors and darken the background.

            • merc@sh.itjust.works
              2·
              29 days ago

              Cool stuff, I live in a city. Not a huge city, but big enough that I only see the major stars at night. It would probably take me at least 45 minutes of driving to get somewhere dark enough to take a picture like yours (assuming I had all the equipment and skill to take that kind of picture at all).

  • zante@slrpnk.netEnglish
    1072·
    1 month ago

    Woodworking 94%. Right.

    Try ordering a new lathe after you’re married.

    • xkbx@startrek.website
      666·
      1 month ago

      That’s because the deal has already been sealed. They typically wanna keep you off the market, not increase your “resale” value. Unless you’re into that kinda thing. Like, cucking or sharing kinda kinks, not human trafficking. Human trafficking isn’t sexy. Unless you’re into that kind of thing. Like, as a fantasy, not as a real thing. Real human trafficking isn’t sexy. Unless you’re into that kinda thing. Like, as in humans stuck in traffic or transforming into cars and being stuck in traffic, not as being sold as a commodity. Unless you’re into that kind of thing.

    • OsrsNeedsF2P@lemmy.ml
      155·
      1 month ago

      It’s a bit of both. I can see these hobbies leading to a healthy relationship, but anyone who thinks the answer isn’t “hit the gym” is coping.

      (Btw I’m no gym rat, but this is a fact)

      • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.worldEnglish
        6·
        1 month ago

        anyone who thinks the answer isn’t “hit the gym” is coping.

        I’d put “hit the dermatologist” above it. Plenty of girls go for the skinny or husky builds. But blemishes are a universal turn off

        • GiveMemes@jlai.lu
          5·
          1 month ago

          The benefits of hitting the gym are much more than just getting swole. It increases self-confidence, helps to improve self-image, etc, which are all way more important to getting laid than any hobby you could have.

            • GiveMemes@jlai.lu
              1·
              1 month ago

              Not at a biochemical/hormonal level, which you definitely can for at least physical activity.

                • GiveMemes@jlai.lu
                  1·
                  1 month ago

                  No. I don’t think that going to a dermatologist causes significant hormonal changes like exercising regularly does. Why would I ever think that salicylic acid and antibiotics would affect my neurotransmitters and hormones significantly? They don’t…

      • Cataphract@lemmy.ml
        16·
        1 month ago

        Hiking - sounds attractive, but the woman may not actually enjoy hiking especially doing multiple day trails

        Woodworking - “wow you made this desk yourself?!” Reality: Spent weeks designing and getting the right materials, spent more weeks in the shop getting everything right, spent months all together away and in a shop so you could present… a desk (the novelty runs out real quick with a partner)

        Same with a lot of them, if you’re really into a hobby and it is presentable… You’ve spent a fuckton of time on it. Something you could do while you were single, 10x harder to pick up or continue doing in a relationship since your time is now divided. It becomes one of those, “Yeah they love doing photography and they’re really good at it!” (cue partner standing there who hasn’t taken a picture in over a year looking sheepish).

          • Cataphract@lemmy.ml
            5·
            1 month ago

            Oh yeah, equipment is definitely a perk. It’s kinda amazing how cheap shop vacs are too compared to going to a car wash repeatedly. But I think you jostled a caveat to all of these hobbies, being not broke lol. Could really put a strain on a relationship when you would previously sacrifice to get something but now you’re asking a partner to do the same.

      • Prandom_returns@lemm.ee
        4·
        1 month ago

        “Playing and instrument”, for example, is likely not a tender accoustic guitar in the moonlight. It’s repetitive, monotonic, loud noise, that rarely resembles music most of the time, no matter the instrument.

        Same with woodworking, it’s not sculpting a figurine with a knife and a pipe in your mouth. It’s FUCKING LOUD machines, wood dust everywhere (if you’re a hobbyist), every nook of your place becomes wood storage.

        Most of the “attractive” hobbies might sound attractive, when you don’t really think about them and go with your first thought (that’s mostly based on depictions in films/tv shows, etc.)

  • Lorindól@sopuli.xyz
    46·
    1 month ago

    I had 10/15 of these when I was single, and I was single for a very long time. That is how I had the time to learn all these hobbies/skills.

    • CancerMancer@sh.itjust.works
      132·
      1 month ago

      Right? Just the other day I was thinking about how many hobbies I dropped once I started seriously dating, and then later how many more when I had kids.

      My guitar hasn’t been touched in years. My books have gone unread. My 3D printer is getting a workout making organizational tools and little toys for the kids though lol

      • Lorindól@sopuli.xyz
        2·
        1 month ago

        Right.

        Along the years I have managed to scrounge together almost all the gear I always dreamed of when I was young. Nothing really expensive or fancy, but good quality second hand stuff that would get things done right.

        But there just isn’t any time to use them. And if by some miracle a bit of time appears, it’s guaranteed that I’m dead tired and choose sleep.

        Maybe one day.

    • Trainguyrom@reddthat.comEnglish
      2·
      1 month ago

      From talking to my female friends the bar for men is incredibly low. Basically have good hygiene and be able to take care of yourself and you’re already in the top 60-70%

  • the_crotch@sh.itjust.works
    45·
    1 month ago

    Judging by what I see on dating sites, fishing is near the bottom of the list. So many women’s profiles say something like “I don’t want to see a picture of you holding a fish”

    • ObsidianNebula@sh.itjust.works
      25·
      1 month ago

      I wonder if it is fishing itself that they don’t like, or if it is the prevalence of fishing photos on dating sites. I know that a lot of guys post fishing photos on their profiles (probably because most men don’t take many photos of themselves but will take photos with a nice catch), so maybe it just seems unoriginal or low effort. I’m honestly not sure, but my only point is that it may not be the hobby itself.

      • the_crotch@sh.itjust.works
        7·
        1 month ago

        I assumed it was a combination of “it’s really common” and “fish are gross” but I don’t look at men’s profiles and don’t fish so I may be way off

      • Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee
        2·
        1 month ago

        I’ve heard it compared to the scene in Toy Story where they’re trying to find the right Buzz Lightyear amongst all the identical clones.

    • Wogi@lemmy.world
      9·
      1 month ago

      It’s like 95% of male profiles. Bad selfies and the only picture of them taken by someone else is them holding a fish.

    • sverit@lemmy.ml
      3·
      1 month ago

      Well, makes kinda sense, “killing animals” is near the bottom of the list of any women I know ;)

              • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 ℹ️@yiffit.netEnglish
                1·
                1 month ago

                Voyager recently added user tags (allows you to label other users) but the app also doesn’t appear to use the display name option available in Lemmy (or at least no one has it enabled from the screenshots I’ve seen posted), so it just shows the username you use to log in, which doesn’t have special characters.

                My display name is my username, but spelled using emojis in case you don’t see it that way, either.

                • aeharding@vger.social
                  4·
                  1 month ago

                  Oh, I see. Voyager doesn’t show that because display names are confusing for mentions, can be used to impersonate, and distracting. It might be an option to enable in the future, off by default.

                  Edit:

                  Claim

                  To clarify how I really feel, here’s my hot take: display_name is a really awful feature and should be removed from Lemmy.

                  Why?

                  They are dangerous by default because the very concept implies that clients should render display_name instead of the username, if it exists. Which is unwise: Apps have to choose between replacing (bad for impersonation/UX/distraction reasons) and showing both (which just looks duplicative most of the time).

                  What makes this feature even more frustrating is that people are now using display names for their username + flairs of actually important things, like gender identities. (for example, display_name="Alex (he/his)")

                  It’s a damned if you do, damned if you don’t situation for Lemmy clients. Some people are using display_name for important info like gender identities, and yet display_name is so incredibly easy to impersonate people and otherwise abuse.

                  Solution?

                  What is the solution? I think Lemmy should ditch display_name and replace with flair (or something like this). The general idea is that flair is NOT a replacement for your username, but rather it will be displayed alongside it.

                  Maybe even make flair per-community like Reddit. I think that was a much better design than what Lemmy currently has.

    • Obi@sopuli.xyz
      3·
      1 month ago

      To be fair, I enjoy both these things but I don’t know that I would classify them as hobbies, more as something I do to wind down. I can see video games going into hobby or even profession territory but THC is just a medicine for me. A hobby is something that needs to challenge me, in which I learn things and get better at it.

      • CancerMancer@sh.itjust.works
        2·
        1 month ago

        I make mods for video games. It actually pays out too, I make a few hundred a year. It’s basically computer parts money lol.

        Does that count as a hobby? I’m afraid to ask, women are pretty judgy about this stuff.

    • Excrubulent@slrpnk.netEnglish
      16·
      1 month ago

      Okay, this meme actually doesn’t contain Saddam Hussein. I know it’s a shock, you’d better sit down. Actually lie down. Lower. Lower. Keep going. There he is.

  • Gladaed@feddit.org
    24·
    1 month ago

    Tl;dr: any interest is interesting and attractive. In particular if it can be done without annoying your partner and shows your ability to think independently. If it produces something useful that’s cool, too.

  • fl42v@lemmy.ml
    21·
    1 month ago

    So, lots of Linux fans should be fairly attractive. Like we read (the docs), know a few languages (at least bash), occasionally write scripts, travel (between distros), and archers became a huge meme 🙃

    • Gladaed@feddit.org
      62·
      1 month ago

      But you annoy users with unreliability and difficulty to repair and time to implement. UX is important. You can’t have home improvement work sites lingering.

      • fl42v@lemmy.ml
        1·
        1 month ago

        Haven’t tested macos myself (and ain’t going to due to progressing hardware enshitification), but windows isn’t any better, in my experience.

        The only kinda benefit is that you often don’t need to install it and are likely accustomed to using it. But then come problems. First, you need to remove a metric ton of crap by both vendor and Microsoft, so much so it’s often easier to install a clean msdn image (which negates the benefit of windows being preinstalled). And if you happen to remove more unnecessary crap than expected by Microsoft, you also get weird and hard yo track issues.

        Then reliability… The last time I needed it, w10 bsoded (oh, yeah, the famous undifficult to repair “smth died, and we want tell you what exactly”; so much better than logs in Linux, am I right?) 5 mins after install from an original msdn image, and after reinstalling touchpad and trackpoint didn’t work properly, for example. So, that’s actually worse than any Linux distro I’ve tried so far. But idk, mb I’m just unlucky. Also, crowdstrike 🙃

        Then the usual way to install software on windows… Which sucks hard: heck, even Slackware is better in that regard, and it kinda says a lot.

        Soo, basically leaves us with “windows good 'cuz I know windows”.

  • Anti-Face Weapon@lemmy.world
    211·
    1 month ago

    Unironically, most of the women I’ve spoken too have found it attractive when I bring up 3dPrinting. It’s an active and interesting hobby, and tangible & crafty enough not to be too “nerdy” or whatever. Perfect middle ground, women love it.

    They probably just didn’t think of it or it wasn’t on the poll.

  • coherent_domain@infosec.pubEnglish
    18·
    1 month ago

    Uh, there is a typo, the second probably should say “functional languages”. We all know how people are attracted to map, filter, and reduce.